Corporate Crap!

[Sortarican]

OK, relisting this and hoping our legal department doesn't see it.
Company name removed to protect my ass.

assignment given us at work:

*List 5 things that you have to do in your daily job that affects the bottom line and supports the company mission statement.





The Company mission statement is to achieve Premier Market Presence (PMP) in each of our markets by providing Premier Quality Service to each of our customers.





Premier Market Presence Consists of Five Components


1) Premier Market Share
I burned down one of our competitors offices.
2) Premier Customer Satisfaction
I haven’t contributed to 3 ex-wives sexual satisfaction….what makes you think I’m gonna start giving you satisfaction.
3) Premier Quality Professionals
I hired a hooker on the company expense account. Trust me….she was a TRUE professional.
4) Premier Brand Name Awareness
I got Company Logo tattooed on my ass.
5) Premier Community Citizenship
I turned my Grandfather in to the INS.

6) Premier Web Presence.
I have pictures of myself wearing the Company baseball cap, and nothing else, in my PhotoBucket account on the web.

[lovinCO]

I so feel your pain... at least ____ isn't getting quoted in the negative lately. :p

[Dietrich_R1]

*List 5 things that you have to do in your daily job that affects the bottom line and supports the RE/MAX mission statement of agent recruiting, retention and selling franchises.


Why don't they just come right out & ask "What have you done for ME lately to make ME money"!!!!!

[Devaclis]

haha it was pretty damn funny Jeff. Save it in your photobucket account for gits sand shiggles

[lovinCO]

! I was wondering how you got away with those unsanctioned answers. I would be frowned at in my office. :)


Still funny.

[Yellow Bullet]

I wanna see :(

[Sortarican]

I'll reinsert it without directly referencing the company name.

[Yellow Bullet]

*sits and wiats, keeps hitting the refresh button*

[Devaclis]

Don't play with it!! You will go blind!!

[Yellow Bullet]

Don't play with it!! You will go blind!!
But it feels so good, common... Please???



I'm kinda glad that I dont do that huge business thing. . . Well not yet anyway. I guess its something that I get to look forward to in the future.