Check Norris Approved!!!

[Devaclis]

Saw this on the news last night. Made me laugh :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDUQW8LUMs8

[puckstr]

Chuck Norris for President

[DavidofColorado]

That's great.

[dirkterrell]

That might just be the first political ad I've ever seen that I liked . :)

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Dirk

[puckstr]

Chuck Norris broke my windshield
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51JF4QDT8RL._SS500_.jpg

[dirkterrell]

Chuck Norris broke my windshield


Chuck Norris once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil.

[Sortarican]

Know what Chuck Norris got on his SAT's?
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BLOOD!

[dirkterrell]

Given the title of this thread, this one seems relevant:

If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

[Mental]

Chuck Norris took my virginity and he'll take your too. But if you're saying; "Thats not possible, I already losy my virginity." your are very mistaken

[dirkterrell]

Upon hearing that his good friend, Lance Armstrong, lost his testicles to cancer, Chuck Norris donated one of his to Lance. With just one of Chuck's nuts, Lance was able to win the Tour De France seven times. By the way, Chuck still has two testicles; either he was able to produce a new one simply by flexing, or he had three to begin with. No one knows for sure.

[dchd1130]

Yeah I saw it on the news too. Its funny as hell, but really??? I guess it is just running in Idaho so maybe thats all it takes to get a vote there.

[Sortarican]

...; either he was able to produce a new one simply by flexing, or he had three to begin with. No one knows for sure.

He can drop em like a Pez dispenser.

Before the Boogie Man goes to bed at night, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

[Devaclis]

Superman wears Chuck Norris Pajamas

[blue02celi]

Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

[Devaclis]

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did.

[DavidofColorado]

Chuck Norris is the only man to win the NRA rifle competitions with an M-60 shooting from the hip.

[Joecycle]

Chuck Norris doesn't get rained on...... the rain gets Chuck Norris'ed on!

[puckstr]

22 Chuck Norris Facts
1. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
5. Chuck Norris defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you’re still alive, it’s because Chuck Norris loves you.
6. Chuck Norris isn’t hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
7. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
8. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
9. There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
10. Chuck Norris can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.
11. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
http://mike.files.wordpress.com/2005/12/chuck_norris_1.jpg
12. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever gotten.
13. Chuck Norris invented cancer because he was tired of killing people
14. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
15. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
16. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
17. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
18. Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
19.When Chuck Norris jumps into a body of water, he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris instead.
20. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
21. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
22. When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.

[DavidofColorado]

LOL