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shmoab
Sat Aug 7th, 2004, 01:05 PM
Q. What do 57,000 abused women every year have in common?
A. They don’t fucking listen
Q. Where’s the first place a woman goes after getting out of the battered wives shelter?
A. The kitchen, if she knows what’s good for her.
Q. What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
A. Nothing, you’ve already told her twice.
Three battered wives walk into a bar.* At least, that’s what their husbands told the cops.

Q. What’s better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics?
A. Not being retarded.

A blonde who suspects her husband cheating on her goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly, opens the door, and, sure enough finds him naked in the arms of a redhead. Well, now she's angry. She opens the purse and takes out the gun. But as she does so she is overcome with grief and points the gun to her own head.
The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it."
"Shut up", she says. "You're next."

A blonde, her husband, and two children are sitting in the living room watching tv.
The blonde turns to the husband and says, "Honey, why don't we send the children out back to P-L-A-Y so we can fuck!"



more to come

shmoab
Sun Aug 8th, 2004, 10:15 AM
A man was listening to the radio when he heard that there was a car heading the wrong way down Interstate 7; he knew his wife was driving on it at the time. He frantically called her on his cell phone and yelled hysterically, "Honey, watch out! There is a car going the wrong way on Interstate 7!"

His wife replied, "There isn’t just one car! There are hundreds of them!"


Two blondes walk up to a counter and decide to check out some of the free samples of perfume.

The first one looks at the second one and asks, "What's this perfume called? It smells familiar."

The second one replies, "It says here it's called Viens a Moi, whatever that means."

A kindly sales lady overhears the two blondes talking, smiles, and tell them "Viens a Moi is French. It mean 'Come to Me.'"

The first blonde takes another big whiff and exclaims, "No, this doesn't smell like come to me. Bridgette, does this smell like come to you?"


A little boy came down to breakfast..

Since he lived on a farm, his mother asked if he had done his chores..

"Not yet," said the little boy.

His mother tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does his chores.

Well, he's a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken.

He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.

He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.

"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.

"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs.

I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon, either.

I also saw you kick the cow, so you aren't getting any milk this morning."

Just about then, his father comes down for breakfast, and he kicks the cat as he's walking into the kitchen.

The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says,

"Are you going to tell him, or should I?"



Two blondes are walking down the road when one says, "Look at that dog with one eye!"

The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says, "Where?"



A father goes into a drug store and says to the pharmacist, "I need some birth control for my 11-year-old daughter."

The pharmacist says, "Is she sexually active?"

The father replies, "No. She just lays there like her mother."


Q: Whats the best thing about dating homeless chicks?
A: You can drop them off anywhere.

Q: How many men does it take to clean a toilet?
A: None, it's a woman's job.

kevplus2
Sun Aug 8th, 2004, 05:19 PM
:lol:

Brizz
Sun Aug 8th, 2004, 05:28 PM
http://www.cosportbikeclub.org/uploads/tshirt0.jpg