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Dr. Joe Siphek
Fri Aug 20th, 2004, 12:33 PM
1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm
gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."

3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about
him?

5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but
don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they
are going to look up ! there anyway?

8 Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!

9. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why
didn't he just buy dinner?

10. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

11. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

12. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from
morons?

13 Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same tune?

14. Stop singing and read on...........

15. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

16. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets
mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?

17. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive
faster?

Felicia
Fri Aug 20th, 2004, 12:44 PM
My freezer has a light... :idea:

friscokidd
Fri Aug 20th, 2004, 12:52 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol: :up: :up: those are good!

Dr. Joe Siphek
Fri Aug 20th, 2004, 01:10 PM
My freezer has a light... :idea:Well not all of us work at Burger King!!! :lol:

sleekdevel
Sun Aug 22nd, 2004, 01:41 AM
:lol: those are awesome!!!

PharmerKyle
Sun Aug 22nd, 2004, 07:44 AM
:scramble:

Just what'cha need before a long introspective spell on a bike.

RaverDude
Sun Aug 22nd, 2004, 09:29 AM
1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Probably the guy who watched the calf drinking it.

2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm
gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."

Probably the french...

3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? I've not been around too long, but I've yet to see a fridge/freezer unit that doesn't have a light inside both...


6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but
don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
The only time I point at my wrist is when someone doesn't hear/understand me the first time I say it, usually when I'm at a stop light with my helmet on, I can hear fine, but most people cant hear me, so I just point...


9. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why
didn't he just buy dinner?
Have you ever seen the Acme delivery guy pick up payment on anything?


11. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Ingredients
Mineral Oil, Fragrance


12. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from
morons?
Well, electricity electrons, morality morons, so yes...


16. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets
mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?
Only motorcyclists understand why a dog sticks his head out the window.


17. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive
faster?
No. Does pushing a crosswalk button repeatedly make the walking guy come up faster? Does clicking a link on your web browser more then once make a new page load faster? No, but it does make people feel better, someone was telling me a lot of buildings have fake thermostats in them, they arn't even hooked up to anything, but people moving them around keeps them from complaining about the temperature because they think they are doing something about it.

panther
Sun Aug 22nd, 2004, 04:25 PM
someone was telling me a lot of buildings have fake thermostats in them, they arn't even hooked up to anything, but people moving them around keeps them from complaining about the temperature because they think they are doing something about it.

that would explain a lot :lol: :lol:

sleekdevel
Sun Aug 22nd, 2004, 11:31 PM
:lol: even funnier now

onef
Mon Aug 23rd, 2004, 06:49 AM
17. Does pushing the elevator button more than
once make it arrive faster?
No. Does pushing a crosswalk button repeatedly make the walking
guy come up faster? Does clicking a link on your web browser more
then once make a new page load faster? No, but it does make people
feel better, someone was telling me a lot of buildings have fake
thermostats in them, they arn't even hooked up to anything, but
people moving them around keeps them from complaining about the
temperature because they think they are doing something about it.


I worked in an office that had thermostats that did nothing. Got to
talking with the maintenance guy and he let it out that the
thermostats did nothing more than make the people "feel good".
You could tell the system that you were in the room but that was
about it.

I remember seeing a report somewhere that most of the crosswalk
buttons in a major metropolitan city had been disabled. So just
pushing them once did nothing. How about that as a big joke?

bulldog
Mon Aug 23rd, 2004, 12:12 PM
1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Probably the guy who watched the calf drinking it.

2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm
gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."

Probably the french...

3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? I've not been around too long, but I've yet to see a fridge/freezer unit that doesn't have a light inside both...


6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but
don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
The only time I point at my wrist is when someone doesn't hear/understand me the first time I say it, usually when I'm at a stop light with my helmet on, I can hear fine, but most people cant hear me, so I just point...


9. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why
didn't he just buy dinner?
Have you ever seen the Acme delivery guy pick up payment on anything?


11. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Ingredients
Mineral Oil, Fragrance


12. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from
morons?
Well, electricity electrons, morality morons, so yes...


16. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets
mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?
Only motorcyclists understand why a dog sticks his head out the window.


17. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive
faster?
No. Does pushing a crosswalk button repeatedly make the walking guy come up faster? Does clicking a link on your web browser more then once make a new page load faster? No, but it does make people feel better, someone was telling me a lot of buildings have fake thermostats in them, they arn't even hooked up to anything, but people moving them around keeps them from complaining about the temperature because they think they are doing something about it.
Ummm, I don't think you were suppose to answer them :slap: :lol: :lol:

RaverDude
Mon Aug 23rd, 2004, 01:04 PM
well if I don't answer them then the questions will continue to confuse the simple minded :D

zPurpleRoom
Mon Aug 23rd, 2004, 02:57 PM
My freezer has a light... :idea:Well not all of us work at Burger King!!! :lol:

:spit:

Dr. Joe Siphek
Mon Aug 23rd, 2004, 03:04 PM
My freezer has a light... :idea:Well not all of us work at Burger King!!! :lol:

:spit:Glad someone finally got it!!!