Nick_Ninja
Thu Sep 9th, 2004, 09:27 AM
November 23, 2004 WASHINGTON, DC (AP)
Congress approved sweeping legislation which provides new
benefits for many Americans.
The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA), signed into law by
President George Bush shortly after its passage,
is being hailed as a major victory by advocates of
the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.
"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the
competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful
role for themselves in society,"
said Bush, a longtime AWNA supporter.
"This is why many of them voted for me. We can no longer stand by
and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over.
With this legislation, employers will no longer be able
to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply
because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing", said Bush.
President Bush pointed to the success of the US Postal Service
which has a long standing policy of providing opportunity
without regard to performance.
Approximately 80 percent of postal employees lack job skills,
making this agency the single largest US employer
of Persons of Inability.
Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination
against the Inept include retail sales (72%),
the airline industry (68%), and home
improvement "warehouse" stores (65%).
President Bush has also set an example, personally selecting
hundreds of Nonabled people for top government positions,
including many cabinet level jobs.
Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million
"middle man" positions will be created, with important sounding titles
but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense
of purpose and performance.
Mandatory non-performance based raises and promotions
will be given, to guarantee upward mobility
for even the most unremarkable employees.
The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations
which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability
in top positions and gives a tax credit to small and medium
businesses that agree to hire one
clueless worker for every two talented hires.
Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures
to make it more difficult to discriminate against the
Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview questions
such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or
"Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?"
and "Are you awake?"
"As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up
with people who have something going for them,"
said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug nut twister
at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her lack of notable job skills.
"This new law should really help people like me."
With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of
other untalented citizens can finally see a light
at the end of the tunnel.
Said Bush, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide
each and every American citizen, regardless of his
or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take
up in this great nation."
Congress approved sweeping legislation which provides new
benefits for many Americans.
The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA), signed into law by
President George Bush shortly after its passage,
is being hailed as a major victory by advocates of
the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.
"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the
competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful
role for themselves in society,"
said Bush, a longtime AWNA supporter.
"This is why many of them voted for me. We can no longer stand by
and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over.
With this legislation, employers will no longer be able
to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply
because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing", said Bush.
President Bush pointed to the success of the US Postal Service
which has a long standing policy of providing opportunity
without regard to performance.
Approximately 80 percent of postal employees lack job skills,
making this agency the single largest US employer
of Persons of Inability.
Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination
against the Inept include retail sales (72%),
the airline industry (68%), and home
improvement "warehouse" stores (65%).
President Bush has also set an example, personally selecting
hundreds of Nonabled people for top government positions,
including many cabinet level jobs.
Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million
"middle man" positions will be created, with important sounding titles
but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense
of purpose and performance.
Mandatory non-performance based raises and promotions
will be given, to guarantee upward mobility
for even the most unremarkable employees.
The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations
which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability
in top positions and gives a tax credit to small and medium
businesses that agree to hire one
clueless worker for every two talented hires.
Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures
to make it more difficult to discriminate against the
Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview questions
such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or
"Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?"
and "Are you awake?"
"As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up
with people who have something going for them,"
said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug nut twister
at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her lack of notable job skills.
"This new law should really help people like me."
With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of
other untalented citizens can finally see a light
at the end of the tunnel.
Said Bush, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide
each and every American citizen, regardless of his
or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take
up in this great nation."