PDA

View Full Version : Denver Etiquette



Spoiled
Thu Sep 9th, 2004, 07:28 PM
1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is: "den-ver" not Denvah.

2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Denver has its own version of traffic rules...the cars/truck with the loudest muffler goes next at a 4-way stop. The truck with the biggest tires goes after that.(Note: Blue-haired, green-haired or cranberry-haired ladies driving anything have right of way anytime.)

3. To find anything in Denver it is required that you know Colfax and Broadway; the Alpha and Omega -- the beginning and the End.

4. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 to 10:00 a.m. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out and possibly shot.

6. You must know that "I-25 and the Valley Hwy" are the same road. Same goes for Hampden Ave, Highway 285.

7. North and south only vaguely resemble the real direction of certain streets such as Speer Blvd.

8. Highway 287 runs north, south, east and west and every direction in between; it can be found in every section of the Denver area to make navigating interesting.

9. Construction is a permanent fixture in Denver. The barrels are moved around in the middle of the night to make the next days driving a bit more exciting.

10. Watch very carefully for road hazards such as drunks, jay-walkers, pan-handlers, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, pot holes, cats, pieces of other cars, truck tires, squirrels, rabbits, prairie dogs and crows or vultures feeding on any of these items.

11. Ground clearance of at least 12 inches for your vehicle is recommended for city driving. Lots of "stuff" falls off or falls from something.

12. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."

13. The minimum acceptable speed on all freeways -- I-25, I-76, I-225, US 285/Hampden, Hwys 87 and 36 is 85 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy. This is Colorado's version of NASCAR. The difference is some drivers are armed and irritable!

14. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. (It maybe hazardous to your health)

15. If you are in the left lane and are going only 70 in a 55-65 zone...you are considered a road hazard, and will be "flipped off" accordingly.

16. The trend in recent years indicates if it's 70 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.

17. If it's snowing, it could well be the week after Memorial Day.

18. Highway 36 to and from Boulder is called the "Turnpike." No other highway is called the Turnpike. If someone refers to another highway as a Turnpike, tell them to go back to the East.

19. If someone refers to a highway with the article "the," as in, "The 25" tell them to go back to California.

20. A red light means four more cars can go through. Not three, not five. Four.

21. Lincoln Street is a major route into Downtown and runs north and south. Lincoln Ave. is now a major route on the south end of town, but the two never meet.

22. University and Colorado are two boulevards that run parallel. Geometry not working in the suburbs, these streets intersect south of C-470.

salsashark
Thu Sep 9th, 2004, 08:49 PM
Oh crap, the truth has been leaked. Punishments will be dealt out accordingly!



:up:


Why is it always funnier when it's true?

thunderseye
Fri Sep 10th, 2004, 11:37 AM
thats awesome

1000RR
Fri Sep 10th, 2004, 12:59 PM
Gah. Denver drivers are slow and docile compared to my hometown. What passes for a superhighway out here is just a city avenue in the ATL.

However, I hereby submit the following unsolicited additions:

23. It's fashionable for qualified individuals to display a "NATIVE" bumper sticker, just in case the rest of the world begins to give a shit.

24. Potholes and deep pavement cracks are the norm. Modern paving technology has not made it this far yet.

25. It's your obigation as a Denver driver to cut off RTD commuter busses at every opportunity.

26. HOV lanes, the good idea that works in many municipalities, exist only to taunt you in Denver.

salsashark
Fri Sep 10th, 2004, 03:33 PM
27. North means Mountains on Left, and South means Mountains on Right. This is never to be confused.

Stark
Fri Sep 10th, 2004, 04:03 PM
28. When snowing or icy conditions exist, it is still mandatory to drive at least 10 MPH over the speed limit on all roads. However, should it rain here, immediately drop to 25% of the posted speed limit.

AlphaOne
Tue Sep 14th, 2004, 10:50 PM
"28. When snowing or icy conditions exist, it is still mandatory to drive at least 10 MPH over the speed limit on all roads. However, should it rain here, immediately drop to 25% of the posted speed limit."

lol it's so true..... i need to learn how to use the actual quote thingy

zPurpleRoom
Tue Sep 14th, 2004, 10:58 PM
"<snip>

lol it's so true..... i need to learn how to use the actual quote thingy

Click on the "quote" thingy button!!!

BigE
Tue Sep 14th, 2004, 10:59 PM
29. You can tell the transplants from other states because their brake lights come on for every corner in the mountains. Then they speed to 20 over on the straights.

asp_125
Tue Sep 14th, 2004, 11:09 PM
30. It is mandatory to slow to a crawl to look at the accident / ticket / broken down car in the OPPOSITE direction.

31. Never ask for directions to someplace in the Tech Center. It is acceptable to circle endlessly.

32. The bigger SUV wins. Aggressive off road tires are allowed even though the most dirt you'll ever see is accidentally running over the landscaping in Highlands Ranch.

33. Scooters can ignore all rules of the road in Boulder.

thug-smacker
Mon Jul 31st, 2006, 01:07 AM
THIS IS WHY OUT OF STATERS NEED TO GO HOME< leave my state now!!!

Feathered upstart!
Mon Jul 31st, 2006, 02:05 AM
How about we send all the people who reply to two year old posts out of state....

~Barn~
Mon Jul 31st, 2006, 08:28 AM
:spit:
Seriously!
e-thug-smacker.... You gots ta go!

Pachuco
Mon Jul 31st, 2006, 08:42 AM
he needs to sell his bike so he needs his post count up.....

Fly boy
Mon Jul 31st, 2006, 09:17 AM
34. When traveling up hills you must first go 5 mph under the posted speed limit, then 3/4 of the way up the hill find the gas pedal and go 10mph over, to peak the hill and brake the way down doing 10mph under.

35. On a 2 way highway such as 36, there is an optional 3rd lane for passing. if using this 3rd lane, be weary of broken down cars, or other racers at night.

thug-smacker
Mon Jul 31st, 2006, 10:53 AM
How about we send all the people who reply to two year old posts out of state....


hey nothing wrong with digging up old posts, lemme guess, you must be an out of stater,

what is a peder-ass? something to do with a petting zoo? :slappers: