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Tipys
Tue Jul 22nd, 2008, 09:45 PM
Saw this on another Forum thought I mite share

You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. (Some Quick Unimportant Immature Dumbass) If ...

Here's a handy guide to SQUID spotting. Are YOU a SQUID? Could you be considered a SQUID by other bikers? Take the following test and find out ... If you say "Hey! That's what I do !" to more than a few of these statements, you're in serious trouble! Rehabilitation isn't out of the question, it just takes a lot of effort and a lot of maturity on your part.

You might be a SQUID if:

"You have to stop on the shoulder of an ON Ramp to unstrap the helmet from the side of your bike and actually put it on, because obviously Highway riding is so much more dangerous than riding down the street. I stopped with a kid who did this yesterday while cars (http://www.zxforums.com/forums/general-discussion/12876-you-might-squid-if.html#) were zipping by us at 60mph."

You constantly "throttle tune" your bike at every red light


You have any fake animal fur (zebra, leopard, etc.) covering the plastic on your bike


- You didn't know your bike came with a tool (http://www.zxforums.com/forums/general-discussion/12876-you-might-squid-if.html#) kit !

"You ride around with your full face helmet stuck on top of your head in such a way that the chin bar is resting squarely above your eyebrows."

You ride in sandals

You bad mouth all "other" brands of bikes (and have never ridden them)

You tell anyone you have gone 160 on the street

Your "racing" jacket is from Wal-Mart.

You think Arai is Jamaican for OK

You don't have a clue what a Buell is

You bought a Sport bike and put saddlebags and a sissy bar on it so you can go to Sturgis.

You keep fouling plugs riding with the choke on

You have Harley stickers on your car (http://www.zxforums.com/forums/general-discussion/12876-you-might-squid-if.html#) and ride a Rebel

Your Mom and Dad won't ride with you

There is a crack in your helmet

You helmet is the wrong size

You ride with ANY safety features on your bike not working

You have a cup holder duct taped to your handlebars.

You have a fuel injected bike with a DynoJet / Factory Jet kit sticker

You install race compound tires yet most of your rides consist of 10 minute jaunts across town in gridlock.

You grind down the feelers under the foot pegs with a bench grinder so people will think you can REALLY corner.

You're 100 lbs. overweight and complain that your bike just can't seem to hold that inside line.

You drive (http://www.zxforums.com/forums/general-discussion/12876-you-might-squid-if.html#) out of state to ride someplace where helmet laws aren't enforced.

Your rear sprocket closely resembles a radial saw blade.

Your brakes let out a spine tingling squeal every time you come to a stop at an intersection

You have all of your "sponsors" decals on your bike and patches on your leathers.

You've just installed a full titanium exhaust, racing cams, ported & polished the cylinder head, and K&N air filter on you new GSXR-1000, but for the life of you can't figure what happened to the choke knob on the dash.

You study those wacky British street bike magazines for articles on how to do stoppies, burnouts and wheelies. Yet the shop manual for your bike is still yet to be opened.

You installed a dry brake system on your gas tank because Team Yoshimura Suzuki (http://www.zxforums.com/forums/general-discussion/12876-you-might-squid-if.html#) used one at Daytona.

You don't use an O-ring chain.

You wear leathers with your name and number across the back, except you're not a racer.

Your helmet has a well known cartoon character on in.

You ever parked your bike on asphalt on a hot summer day and the kickstand dug into the soft pavement causing your bike to fall over.

Your helmet looks like standard issue for the 3rd Reich.

Your safety gear in the summer consists of a tank top, shorts and tennis shoes.

if you ever removed the gas cap bolts to reduce weight.

You ride wearing cut-offs, sandals, and a mesh tank top.

You saw the SQUID movie "Biker Boyz." Twice.

You have any "NO FEAR" decals on your motorcycle.

You think that a wheelie is the mark of a skilled rider.

You ride around with your $500 SHOEI bungie netted to your rear seat.

You drag your brand new $300 AGV boots in order to simulate years of hard cornering use just so you can brag about your 'years' of hard cornering use.

Your idea of head protection is a do-rag bandanna and a pair of Oakley Blades.

You think that burnouts impress the chicks.

If you ever high sided a passenger.

You're only riding your CBR600F2 until you get your Harley put back together.

You never get your bike out of second gear in the city.

Your rear brake pads aren't even scuffed.

You ever installed a fender eliminator kit.

You thought about putting a sidecar on your GSX-R.

You ride a Suzuki Katana (any size, the bigger the SQUIDer)

You've ever low sided a dealer demo unit that was parked inside a showroom.

Your friends won't ride with you anymore.

You brag about your many wrecks.

You don't know what a SQUID is.

You ever high-sided from a intentional stoppie.

Everytime you get a new scratch on your fairing, you get a new decal to cover it up.

YOU think that you're cool.

You ever fell off while doing a wheelie.

You had your nickname painted, taped, or etched anywhere on your helmet, leathers, or bike.

Only you know what your personalized tag means.

Your insurance agent refuses to return your phone calls.

You stand up on your pegs while riding.

You ever bought any dress-up items for your bike from J.C. Whitney & Co.

You tailgate ANYONE!

Your chain ever rusted to the point of having to be replaced.

You ever raced a scooter with your sportbike ... and LOST!

You wear a cheap helmet.

You drilled holes in your fairing to try to reduce weight or increase handling.

You polished your frame.

Your bike has braided hoses and brake lines.

Your street bike is safety wired.

You've got a K&N decal, but not the filter.

You ever tried to make your bike backfire.

You ever snapped off a foot peg by standing on it.

You run stop signs out of habit.

You have colored bar end weights, hand grips, or engine case bolts.

You believe EVERYTHING that you read in motorcycle magazines.

You wheelie between lights in traffic to impress car and truck drivers.

You've ever knocked your bike over by leaning up against it when it was parked.

You swear that your factory stock Seca II will do 160mph on the top end.

You ever wrecked while trying to impress chicks.

You consider rolling stops to be perfectly legal.

Your street bike has a steering dampener.

You never broke in your new bike's engine properly.

You ride a sportbike and wear a half helmet with flight goggles.

Your new colored windscreen matches your Oakely Blades perfectly.

You've ever high-sided in your own driveway.

You ever tried to do something on the street that you saw in a TV action series.

You ever let someone patch your performance radial tire with a plug.

Your rear tire is bald in the center but still has lots of tread on each side.

Your street bike has a wheelie bar.

You let anyone who doesn't have a motorcycle of their own ride yours.

More than half of your bike's original plastic has been replaced by carbon fiber parts.

You own a carbon fiber keyfob.

Your knee pucks have comical faces.

You're riding a sportbike but only until you get your Harley out of the shop.

You high rev your cold engine after cranking.

You ride without insurance or a license endorsement.

You only race against smaller displacement bikes.

You've ever bought cheap tires.

You rev your engine to impress others.

You let complete strangers ride your bike.

You ever split lanes with traffic where it wasn't legal to do so.

You think carbon fiber is IT!

You've never oil your chain.

You're still using the factory pre-set suspension settings.

Your bike alarm makes annoying sounds when activated.

You constantly open and close your throttle at a stop light just to see the tach needle jump.

You paid someone $400 to airbrush your $175 helmet.

Your bike alarm talks.

You like to demonstrate your annoying bike alarm every chance you get.

You ever took off so quick that your passenger rolled off the back!

You NEVER look over your shoulder when you change lanes.

You've ever left your bike running while you went into a convenience store and it was gone when you came back out.

You think neon is cool.

You don't know HOW to adjust your adjustable suspension.

You carry a color matched wheel or disc lock but never use it!

You use cheap gas ( 90 octane or weaker).

Tipys
Tue Jul 22nd, 2008, 09:46 PM
You replace your clutch once a year.

Your sportbike has a cruise control.

You don't use turn signals in traffic.

You pin-striped your sportbike.

You Armor-All(tm) your tires before riding.

Your bike has more than two mirrors.

You've ever drained your battery due to Neon overload.

You buy cheap tires in order to have enough money to buy a new Shoei helmet.

You sent your wheels off to get chromed.

You rode fast in a hard rain.

You removed your mirrors to lower drag and try to increase top speed.

You have a little air foil spoiler on the rear of your bike.

You cover your bike in aftermarket parts decals but don't own any of the parts!

You put additional reflectors on your bike.

You ever mounted auxiliary driving lights on your front fork.

You use cheap oil.

You ever had an accident because you were checking your image in the side view mirrors.

You don't acknowledge other riders when they wave or nod.

You use fuel additives or octane boosters in your street bike.

You ever woke up in the hospital after doing something that you thought would impress people.

You've ever had to have emergency surgery to remove a aftermarket accessory that you installed on your sportbike.

Chicks won't ride with you.

You thread traffic to impress people!

You run at highway speeds on city streets.

You admire yourself in shop windows when you ride by on the street.

You ever had an accident because your bungie net load shifted on you.

Your tag has a bracket with a humorous message engraved on it.

You ride around with screwdrivers or other sharp objects in your back pockets.

Your bike is plastered with aftermarket decal conversion kits. (Troy Lee Designs).

You walk around the mall in full race leathers.

When you ride with others, YOU always have to be in front.

Any of your personal bike experiences are merely products of your imagination.

You ever repainted your bike an annoying color.

You really want other riders to like you and your bike.

rforsythe
Tue Jul 22nd, 2008, 09:58 PM
You have a cup holder duct taped to your handlebars.

What about safety wired? DYSCO??!!!


You use cheap gas ( 90 octane or weaker).

Fuck, guess I am a squid then. :lol: (We'll just ignore the fact that it makes the bike run better for the moment...)

Mental
Tue Jul 22nd, 2008, 10:07 PM
I actually highsided in my driveway once.

That was my last actual accident, 1997.

I just let it go, landed on my feet, and stood there in my driveway, hoping the neighbors didn't see, feeling like an idiot, for about 3 minutes befire I actually turned around and pick the damm thing back up.

Mental
Tue Jul 22nd, 2008, 10:13 PM
...Your sportbike has a cruise control...
Don't be hatin

CatNip
Tue Jul 22nd, 2008, 10:22 PM
[quote]

Your sportbike has a cruise control.

You walk around the mall in full race leathers.

quote]

Okay I wish I had cruise control....right hand keeps falling asleep!

And damn I look hot in full race leathers....who cares where I wear it!
Ha ha...that was long but good!:bananna:

#1Townie
Tue Jul 22nd, 2008, 11:03 PM
wow im a super squid...

thats ggggggggrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttt tt!!!!!



:slappers:

derekm
Tue Jul 22nd, 2008, 11:27 PM
I hate squids... here some being murdered!
shoot, most of the funnier pix are gone now.. its grenades blowing up squids!!!
http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c168/gecelica1/PIC_0151.jpghttp://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c168/gecelica1/PIC_0143.jpghttp://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c168/gecelica1/PIC_0142.jpg

wulf
Wed Jul 23rd, 2008, 02:05 AM
You ever repainted your bike an annoying color.
Does ford blue on an SV count?

highpsi03
Wed Jul 23rd, 2008, 03:31 AM
Great i'm a squid because my mom wont ride on my bike, i have SS brake lines and a Steering Stabilizer.

DavidofColorado
Wed Jul 23rd, 2008, 07:00 AM
You have the money to buy everything for your bike and preach to others about what they should have too. Don't worry your not a squid, just an asshole.

jimwallace
Wed Jul 23rd, 2008, 07:46 AM
You don't use an O-ring chain.....damn...i use x ring.
Your bike has braided hoses and brake lines.........what the hells wrong with steel braided brake lines.
YOU think that you're cool.....damn ....you got me here
You consider rolling stops to be perfectly legal....depends on how much of a rush im in.
Your street bike has a steering dampener......whats wrong with that???? i have one.
You ever took off so quick that your passenger rolled off the back!......guilty....i wheelied one time with this dumb broad friend of my buddies wife and she slid right off the back and had a seat on the pavement.......(not hurt or anything)

dm_gsxr
Wed Jul 23rd, 2008, 07:47 AM
You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. (Some Quick Unimportant Immature Dumbass) If ...

You tell anyone you have gone 160 on the street 170 indicated

You don't use an O-ring chain. EK 530 ZVX X-ring chain

You ever parked your bike on asphalt on a hot summer day and the kickstand dug into the soft pavement causing your bike to fall over. A long time ago but since it says ever

You're only riding your CBR600F2 until you get your Harley put back together. I started riding the GSXR750 because the Harley was in the shop. The beginning of the end as I sold the Harley and am now riding the Hayabusa

You thought about putting a sidecar on your GSX-R. Yep. They have sidecars for the Hayabusa

Only you know what your personalized tag means. I had one in Virginia: FOAD. Do you know what it means? :D

You stand up on your pegs while riding. When doing 800-1000 mile days, standing really helps.

Your bike has braided hoses and brake lines. Well braided front and rear brake lines and braided clutch.

Your street bike is safety wired. The SV is only a street bike until I get it to the track

You have colored bar end weights, hand grips, or engine case bolts. Red grips when I put the heating elements on the bars

Your street bike has a steering dampener. The Hayabusa comes with one

You ever let someone patch your performance radial tire with a plug. I've plugged my own SportTec's, close enough?

Your rear tire is bald in the center but still has lots of tread on each side. Only when touring really.

You use cheap gas ( 90 octane or weaker). Bike only calls for 87 octane so I use 85 here in high country

Your sportbike has a cruise control. I use a 7/8" o-ring as a pseudo cruise control

Your bike has more than two mirrors. I have two small fisheye's on my current mirrors

You rode fast in a hard rain. Yea but I don't corner fast

You use cheap oil. Yep, as long as it's SJ+ and not Energy Conserving, I have no problem using cheap oil

You admire yourself in shop windows when you ride by on the street. Doesn't everyone?

So I guess I'm a S.Q.U.I.D. :)

Carl

salsashark
Wed Jul 23rd, 2008, 07:51 AM
Whoever wrote this list could have saved themselves a lot of time and simply made a list of what a "real" biker is...:roll:

jimwallace
Wed Jul 23rd, 2008, 07:54 AM
actually i have thought about putting a side car on too.......i have two kids and dont get to ride nearly enough.......so yeah i thought about it.

Snowman
Wed Jul 23rd, 2008, 08:11 AM
I few more for your list I have noticed in the past…

You have more LED lights reflecting off your motor than you do turn signals.

You remove the rear foot pegs and rear seat off your brand new R1, and expect to pick up chics.

You think that mounting your license plate on the inside of your rear swing arm is legal.

You reduced the weight of your bike by drilling holes into the frame.

You blame the manufacture for missing the off ramp and high siding into the median.

Your shoe laces have ever got caught in your chain at speed.

ChrisCBX
Wed Jul 23rd, 2008, 08:11 AM
You thought about putting a sidecar on your GSX-R. Yep. They have sidecars for the Hayabusa



Saw a few at the Isle of Man.........

http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k164/Cbxnut/DSCN1919.jpg

My favorite "you might be a squid" line from another list...............

"You trade your sport bike in for a jet ski".:lol:

jimwallace
Wed Jul 23rd, 2008, 09:09 AM
You walk around the mall in full race leathers.


apparently you cant walk around the mall naked.......thats the last time im going commando in my race suit :)

MetaLord 9
Wed Jul 23rd, 2008, 09:13 AM
if you've pulled your headlight switch so you don't get caught speeding at night and then hit ANYTHING
if you wear your helmet w/the chinbar above the eyebrows when you're not on the bike
if you've ever taken your bike to the shop b/c the gas tank was hissing in the summer
if you think a sagging chain is ok and evidence of riding hard
If you've ever wheelied into the back of another vehicle (sorry SR :D )
If you pronounce ever letter of GSX-R and the dash in public
If you've ever prepared to do a stunt by using the phrase "here, hold my beer"
If you've ever tried to increase horsepower by looking for or buying a "muzzy clutch"
if you belive that # of helmet mohawks = degree of coolness/greatness of a rider

salsashark
Wed Jul 23rd, 2008, 09:20 AM
if you've ever taken your bike to the shop b/c the gas tank was hissing in the summer

Ahhh yes, Kawi engineering!

MetaLord 9
Wed Jul 23rd, 2008, 09:23 AM
they see me hiss'n, they hate'n

Shea
Wed Jul 23rd, 2008, 09:26 AM
if you belive that # of helmet mohawks = degree of coolness/greatness of a rider

lol, saw two of those guys riding by Parker and 225 yesterday. Where can I get a mohawk for mah lid?

Sully
Wed Jul 23rd, 2008, 10:02 AM
Uhm.. ask Devils Tonic, I think she knows :) However, if you do get one for yah lid, I won't be riding with you.. SQUID! :lol: :squid:

Shea
Wed Jul 23rd, 2008, 10:03 AM
Uhm.. ask Devils Tonic, I think she knows :) However, if you do get one for yah lid, I won't be riding with you.. SQUID! :lol: :squid:

We both know that you're the biggest squid here Sully. :p

CYCLE_MONKEY
Wed Jul 23rd, 2008, 10:44 AM
"You don't have a clue what a Buell is"

Buell......Buell......aren't those a major contributor to our dependence on foreign oil?!?!:)

Matty
Wed Jul 23rd, 2008, 10:54 AM
You ever repainted your bike an annoying color.


i guess i'm fucked!

Warren
Wed Jul 23rd, 2008, 11:44 AM
i guess i'm fucked!

pretty much ;)

Warren
Wed Jul 23rd, 2008, 11:48 AM
My bike highsided in my driveway with no one on it. Does that count?

IT WASN'T ME!
Wed Jul 23rd, 2008, 12:12 PM
How many yes's do you need to qualify as a squid?

Tipys
Wed Jul 23rd, 2008, 06:17 PM
How many yes's do you need to qualify as a squid?


I think you could be all of them and still now be one. You just might be one.

denver_whitest185
Wed Jul 23rd, 2008, 07:58 PM
so, i don't get how someone is a squid if the asphalt is hot and sucks in your kickstand. my bike hasn't fallen over from it, but ive parked somewhere early in the morning when it was cool, and came back later to it being sunk an inch or so. kinda freaked me out the first time, but still...

mtnairlover
Wed Jul 23rd, 2008, 08:05 PM
Does "talking" about your wrecks quantify as "bragging" about them? In what context is it "bragging"? Or is that all just very subjective.

I'm not a squid, I'm not a squid, I'm not a squid...:lol:

Kurtiz
Mon Feb 16th, 2009, 04:01 PM
Happened today - :o

"You almost rear-end a semi because you are too busy checking out someone else's parked bike."

XJ600s
Mon Feb 16th, 2009, 04:18 PM
Am I a squid if I ride a Seca 2 yet know that it won't attain 160mph even when fully tuned? I know the max that bike will go from several peoples accounts (well, about 60 on a Seca2 specific forum) is around 110mph then it feels really unstable.

TFOGGuys
Mon Feb 16th, 2009, 04:22 PM
"You don't have a clue what a Buell is"

Buell......Buell......aren't those a major contributor to our dependence on foreign oil?!?!:)

Buell: A device for converting gasoline into noise, without the benefit of producing horsepower. See also: Harley-Davidson, Massey-Ferguson

MetaLord 9
Mon Feb 16th, 2009, 04:35 PM
Channeling the "Zombie Thread Prevention" Thread...

3926

TFOGGuys
Mon Feb 16th, 2009, 04:44 PM
Channeling the "Zombie Thread Prevention" Thread...

3926
http://porchtalk.com/upload/files/1/zombie_cat.jpg
http://www.dailyhaha.com/_pics/zombie_cat.jpg

Resistance is Futile!

MetaLord 9
Mon Feb 16th, 2009, 04:52 PM
u mean...

3929

RajunCajun
Mon Feb 16th, 2009, 05:15 PM
lol, saw two of those guys riding by Parker and 225 yesterday. Where can I get a mohawk for mah lid?

You mean this guy???? Is he a choad or what???

http://i168.photobucket.com/albums/u183/superfreak_pics/IMG_0112.jpg

Kole.S
Mon Feb 16th, 2009, 05:20 PM
http://vimeo.com/3128268

R6biker122
Tue Feb 17th, 2009, 01:31 AM
those mohawk things are tight. lol im getting one eventually.

Think
Tue Feb 17th, 2009, 03:13 AM
Well since it's late and I really can't get to sleep, here is my 2 cents.

You bad mouth all "other" brands of bikes (and have never ridden them) Eh, guilty

Your Mom and Dad won't ride with you Uh, guilty?

You study those wacky British street bike magazines for articles on how to do stoppies, burnouts and wheelies. Yet the shop manual for your bike is still yet to be opened. Cmon, who doesn't do this.

Your helmet looks like standard issue for the 3rd Reich. I wish

You saw the SQUID movie "Biker Boyz." Twice. Seen it once, so shoot me

You think that burnouts impress the chicks. They don't?

You never get your bike out of second gear in the city. Slightly difficult in FoCo

You ever installed a fender eliminator kit. Soon... soon

You ride a Suzuki Katana (any size, the bigger the SQUIDer) Thought this was a decent beginner bike...?

You had your nickname painted, taped, or etched anywhere on your helmet, leathers, or bike. Uh... was thinking of getting "Think" on the leathers I'm getting...

Your bike has braided hoses and brake lines. Thought this was the mark of someone who isn't a squid...

You wheelie between lights in traffic to impress car and truck drivers. If I could, I would

You consider rolling stops to be perfectly legal. Yes

Your street bike has a steering dampener. Again, thought this was a sign of a non-squid

Your knee pucks have comical faces. Ooooh, good idea

Your bike alarm makes annoying sounds when activated. I thought that was the point...


You buy cheap tires in order to have enough money to buy a new Shoei helmet. Can't decide which is more important...

You thread traffic to impress people! All the chicks like it

You really want other riders to like you and your bike. No, I'd rather they all hate me and my bike