PDA

View Full Version : Your job ain't so bad after all



Devaclis
Thu Nov 11th, 2004, 04:51 PM
Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Mayo.

He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
email he sent to his sister.She then sent it to RnaG in Galway, who was
sponsoring a worst job experience contest.

Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.Last week I had a
bad day at the office.
I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so thought I would
share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after
all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
few
technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom
of the sea.
I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the
water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial
water heater. This 20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the
sea.
It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the
diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darnn good plan, and I've used it several times
with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose
and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit
with warm water.
It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of
sudden, my behind started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This
only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my behind started to burn. I pulled the hose out
from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't
stick to it.
However, the crack of my behind was not as fortunate.When I scratched
what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into
the crack of my arse.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.His
instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
other divers, were all laughing hysterically.Needless to say I aborted
the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water
decompression stops totalling thirty-five minutes before I could reach
the surface to begin my chamb erdrydecompression.WhenIarrivedat
the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter
running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it
on my behind as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my
hole was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work,
think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up
your behind.

Now repeat to yourself,

"I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."

hrvstofsrrw
Thu Nov 11th, 2004, 05:18 PM
:pointlaugh: i agree anything would be better than that

Jenny
Fri Nov 12th, 2004, 10:29 AM
:lol: ouch!

Dr. Joe Siphek
Fri Nov 12th, 2004, 10:44 AM
That's hilarious...Global Divers is a customer of mine! haha