Dr. Joe Siphek
Tue Jan 11th, 2005, 01:24 PM
A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students.
> >The teacher asked, "Little Johnny what is your problem?"
> >Little Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is
>in
> >
> >the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the
> >third-grade too!"
> >The teacher had enough. She took Little Johnny to the principal's office.
> >While Little Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to
> >the
> >principal what the situation was.
> >The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he
> >failed
> >to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and
> >behave. The teacher agreed.
> >Little Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and
> >he
> >agreed to take the test.
> >Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
> >Little Johnny: "9"
> >Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
> >Little Johnny: "36"
> >And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
> >should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think
> >Little Johnny can go to the third-grade." The teacher says to the
> >principal,
> >"Let me ask him some questions?"
> >The principal and Little Johnny both agree.
> >Teacher: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
> >Little Johnny: "Legs"
> >Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
> >(The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!)
> >Little Johnny: "Pockets"
> >Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
> >Little Johnny: "Pants"
> >Teacher: What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
> >delicious
> >and contains thin whitish liquid?"
> >(The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
> >answer..
> >)
> >Little Johnny: "Coconut"
> >Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
> >Little Johnny: "Bubblegum"
> >Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a
>dog
> >
> >do on three legs?"
> >(The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
> >answer..
> >)
> >Little Johnny: "Shake hands"
> >Teacher: "Now I will ask some '"Who am I" sort of questions, okay?"
> >Little Johnny: "Yup"
> >Teacher: you blow me, you feel good"
> >Little Johnny: "Nose"
> >Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver"
> >Little Johnny: "Arrow"
> >Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot
>of
> >excitement?"
> >Little Johnny: "Firetruck"
> >The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put his
>ass
> >in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong myself
> >The teacher asked, "Little Johnny what is your problem?"
> >Little Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is
>in
> >
> >the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the
> >third-grade too!"
> >The teacher had enough. She took Little Johnny to the principal's office.
> >While Little Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to
> >the
> >principal what the situation was.
> >The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he
> >failed
> >to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and
> >behave. The teacher agreed.
> >Little Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and
> >he
> >agreed to take the test.
> >Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
> >Little Johnny: "9"
> >Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
> >Little Johnny: "36"
> >And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
> >should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think
> >Little Johnny can go to the third-grade." The teacher says to the
> >principal,
> >"Let me ask him some questions?"
> >The principal and Little Johnny both agree.
> >Teacher: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
> >Little Johnny: "Legs"
> >Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
> >(The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!)
> >Little Johnny: "Pockets"
> >Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
> >Little Johnny: "Pants"
> >Teacher: What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
> >delicious
> >and contains thin whitish liquid?"
> >(The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
> >answer..
> >)
> >Little Johnny: "Coconut"
> >Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
> >Little Johnny: "Bubblegum"
> >Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a
>dog
> >
> >do on three legs?"
> >(The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
> >answer..
> >)
> >Little Johnny: "Shake hands"
> >Teacher: "Now I will ask some '"Who am I" sort of questions, okay?"
> >Little Johnny: "Yup"
> >Teacher: you blow me, you feel good"
> >Little Johnny: "Nose"
> >Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver"
> >Little Johnny: "Arrow"
> >Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot
>of
> >excitement?"
> >Little Johnny: "Firetruck"
> >The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put his
>ass
> >in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong myself