Michael Jackson Jokes..Lets get'em started!!!

[ThorsTwin]

Michael Jackson tried to sue Boyz-2-Men for false representation....He thought they were a home delivery service!

[michaelawsome]

lol hha i have a feeling poeple are really going to hate on you for this. i think he was a good singer tilll he wanted to be white.. then he just got all f@#ked up lol

[Nick_Ninja]

Q: What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.

[asp_125]

Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
A: He heard boys' pants were half-off !!

[ThorsTwin]

Well I guess they were right. Michael was born a poor black kid and died as a rich white woman!

[Captain Obvious]

What do Santa and Michael have in common?
Both leave little boy's rooms with empty sacks.

How do you know it is bed time at the Neverland Ranch?
The big hand touches the little hand.

Did you hear about MJ's new album he was working on?
It was titled "Don't let your son go down on me."

How did MJ get food poisoning?
He ate a 10 year old wiener.

[thatmofo]

At least give the man a day! Geez!

[Matty]

Ummmmm..... a lil to soon. Pretty tasteless if you ask me.

[King Nothing]

At least give the man a day! Geez!


Ummmmm..... a lil to soon. Pretty tasteless if you ask me.
Ummmmmm....The guy was a pedophile.

[Captain Obvious]

Ummmmmm....The guy was a pedophile.

But he touched so many!

[Jason ON]

Ummmmmm....The guy was a pedophile.

No, he was an alleged pedophile. There's a difference.

[King Nothing]

No, he was an alleged pedophile. There's a difference.He paid a family to keep their mouths shut. Yeah, I'm sure you're right. He was innocent. :roll:

[Captain Obvious]

No, he was an alleged pedophile. There's a difference.

Would you let your kids sleep over?

Common sense overrules reasonable doubt and hush money.

[Yodannyc]

Due to the fact that michael jackson is 99% plastic he will be melted down in to lego blocks so little kids can play with HIM for a change.

[King Nothing]

Due to the fact that michael jackson is 99% plastic he will be melted down in to lego blocks so little kids can play with HIM for a change.BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! Winner! Winner! Winner!

[Yodannyc]

In honor of Michael Jackson passing away Mcdonolds is introducing the MJ burger...
50 year old meat between 10 year old buns.

[Airreed]

MJ didn't die of a heart attack...he died of food poisoning..he ate an 8 year old weiner!

[Captain Obvious]

MJ didn't die of a heart attack...he died of food poisoning..he ate an 8 year old weiner!

See entry 8 or so up. THank you for playing.

[willb003]

What do Santa and Michael have in common?
Both leave little boy's rooms with empty sacks.


EWWWWW dats nasty!!! lol

[charlesard1]

you guys are a bunch of assholes leaking shit...

[Devaclis]

Michael was never convicted of any crimes against children.

Michael was one of the most amazing entertainers any of you over the age of 20 would ever remember

Most of the jokes about Michael are derogatory, racist, incitement, and based on falsehoods.

He was eccentric, he grew up in a world totally different from yours.

How American of you to talk badly about him. To convict him of crimes, yourself, that the legal system saw mo merit in. I am happy you can walk around, with your head held high, because you are better than him. Your moral fiber is so strong you would never berate anyon.......wait.

RIP MJ :(

[MetaLord 9]

Michael Jackson stopped being Michael Jackson when the 90's hit. His eccentricities made him a wholly different person than the one what we grew up loving & idolizing. At that point, to me, Michael Jackson died. All that remained afterwards was a lot of odd and largely innappropriate, if not illegal, activity. Just because he wasn't convicted of a crime doesn't make him innocent (see "OJ Simpson" ). Eccentric is one thing, but this was several steps beyond. In my mind, the "King of Pop" from the 70's & 80's was a completely different person from "Wacko Jacko" in the 90's & 2000's.

[PhL0aTeR]

No, he was an alleged pedophile. There's a difference.

and OJ is an alleged murderer.... lol

[Devaclis]

Actually, not being convicted DOES mean you are innocent, according to the law. Let's not go there. Why do you think that the parties involved settled out of court for $$? If your child was raped, would $$ mean anything to you? I think not. Step off the bandwagon on the child molester shit. There is no proof.

[Nick_Ninja]

Actually, not being convicted DOES mean you are innocent, according to the law. Let's not go there. Why do you think that the parties involved settled out of court for $$? If your child was raped, would $$ mean anything to you? I think not. Step off the bandwagon on the child molester shit. There is no proof.

+1 I will follow the rule of law ---- even though I don't agree with the verdict. And as far as those who are so over fucking sensitive about a freak that was more plastic than real the jokes on you my friend.

[Mister BOYD]

Lets not forget those who are convicted of a crime of any kind and are truely innocent. Though it's a small percentage, it sure is easy to jump on a band wagon. He was definitely an oddity at the end of his life, but he was teh shit when alive. He had a fucked up family background (consider a lot of his siblings). Hell.. nobody still knows where the hell Tedo (sp?) went! If a person wasn't close to any of the families involved in any of the drama surrounding MJ (including the Jackson family), how do any of us know what is hear-say and filtrated shit via the spewing mouths of our slighted media in America.

Jokes have a time.. show some respect in the face of death. Pray nobody knocks your shit when you pass and instead measure your life by the person you REALLY were while alive.

[Nick_Ninja]

He's still a freak.

http://www.opposingdigits.com/racistparadigm/michael%20jackson%201.jpg

http://www.foxnews.com/images/542129/27_23_a450.jpg

[BHeth]

I could not care any less about Jackson, or any other celebrity for that matter. Is Mickey Mantle going to pay your rent?

Victims have always been afraid to come forward. I imagine it's very difficult when people will say you are full of shit and that you weren't raped or molested. In these types of crimes I will never say the victim was a liar, unless it is proven that they are. Our legal system is screwed, so I don't really care what a judge or jury says. If you got the cash, you can work the system. We've all seen it happen.

Not guilty means they couldn't prove your guilt "beyond a reasonable doubt". It does not mean "innocent".

[MetaLord 9]

Not guilty means they couldn't prove your guilt "beyond a reasonable doubt". It does not mean "innocent".
+10

Actually, not being convicted DOES mean you are innocent, according to the law. Let's not go there. Why do you think that the parties involved settled out of court for $$? If your child was raped, would $$ mean anything to you? I think not. Step off the bandwagon on the child molester shit. There is no proof.
Like BHeth said, "Not Guilty" doesn't mean innnocent and settling out of court doesn't mean either. If your child was molested then you probably don't want the kid in the spotlight anymore than he/she has to be anyway, and you certainly don't want the trial to drag out forever & ever. If you can't afford the lawyers to compete with those of a multi-millionaire, then settling is likely too.

Jackson even said in an interview that he's had lots of children in his bed & saw no problem with having kids in the bed, regardless of whether or not he was there. Like I said before, his behavior was absolutely eccentric, and largely concerning if nothing else. By the time he reached that stage, though, he was a different person than we grew up loving. The Pop idol died over a decade ago.

[dirkterrell]

I never paid much attention to the molestation trials so I don't know what kind of evidence was presented beyond the claims. It isn't difficult to imagine how he could have been the target of false claims. He certainly grew up in an environment that wasn't a normal childhood by anyone's reckoning. (In keeping with the joke theme of the thread, I recall Denis Leary's description of the fucked up nature of the family as "They give each other new heads for Christmas." :) )

All of that shit aside, there's no denying that MJ was a remarkably talented artist. I'll remember him that way.

Dirk

[MetaLord 9]

there's no denying that MJ was a remarkably talented artist. I'll remember him that way.
agreed

[McVaaahhh]

I read a quote once about MJ that pretty much sums him up.

"If he's that screwed up on the outside, imagine what he looks like on the inside"


I agree with Chris that the Michael of the 80's was an amazing entertainer and an a tremendous inspiration. But, the Michael of the 90's was a freak and nothing but tabloid fodder.

I hope he's at peace and that people remember what talent he had, not what he was accused of.

[Nick_Ninja]

The entertainment value that MJ provided was amazing. And he could sing and dance on top of that.

[Devaclis]

If you value the life of this guy sooo little then why is it you defend your ability to ridicule him so fervently? It think you should battle for something you believe in. Not something someone told you to believe in.

Done here. Have fun defacing a human being that passed away yesterday.

[Nick_Ninja]

I'm defending nothing. A joke is a joke. You know me well enough to know that I pick and choose my battles on a fairly consistent basis. Oh --- and I don't believe in what others tell me very ofter if at all. I'm not defacing MJ --- he did that on his own ---- literally.

[MetaLord 9]

If you value the life of this guy sooo little then why is it you defend your ability to ridicule him so fervently? It think you should battle for something you believe in. Not something someone told you to believe in.

Done here. Have fun defacing a human being that passed away yesterday.

^^Not sure if that's directed at any one person in particular, but my involvement was not to defend the jokes here, only to point out that the person that he had become was not the person that we loved. The person that he had become, the crimes of which he was accused, and his ensuing response to all of this was so contrary to his pervious persona that it basically killed the king of pop and, in mind devalued the greatness that he once embodied. It's not my particular cup of tea to make jokes or jump up & down on the guy, but what he had become was not something that I liked or appreciated either.

And I defend my ability speak any of my own thoughts and opinions both because it's my right to do so (which you've argued, yourself, many times), and because you attack those thoughts & opinions so bitterly that only a fervent rebuttle is fitting.

If that wasn't directed at me, then...let's get beer! :cheers: !

[Horsman]

I'll miss Farah... I love lamp...
http://www.lankelot.eu/UserFiles/Image/martello/ole/brick.jpg

[Nick_Ninja]

^^Not sure if that's directed at any one person in particular, but my involvement was not to defend the jokes here, only to point out that the person that he had become was not the person that we loved. The person that he had become, the crimes of which he was accused, and his ensuing response to all of this was so contrary to his pervious persona that it basically killed the king of pop and, in mind devalued the greatness that he once embodied. It's not my particular cup of tea to make jokes or jump up & down on the guy, but what he had become was not something that I liked or appreciated either.

And I defend my ability speak any of my thoughts and opinions both because it's my right to do so (which you've argued, yourself, many times), and because you attack those thoughts & opinions so bitterly that only a fervent rebuttle is fitting.

If that wasn't directed at me, then...let's get beer! :cheers: !

It was not directed toward anyone particular. After reading Dana's other thread post I can support his feelings on MJ. mine, on the other hand, are not emotionally connected whatsoever. I appreciate the guy's contribution to the musicale industry --- no matter how bazaar it was. :crazy:

[MetaLord 9]

Fair enough. Now, about them thar beers.... :D

[Nick_Ninja]

Fair enough. Now, about them thar beers.... :D

Dark Horse ---- 4:30 PM

[Devaclis]

Toad, after work.

We are going to look at a Gixxer for the Pie, then we drink!

[MetaLord 9]

sweet!
wait, YOUR after work or mine?
If you're gonna stop by GPM then lemme know & I can meet ya there to peruse da merchandise! :D

[Devaclis]

we will be there around 4:30 or 5 - ish

[MetaLord 9]

we will be there around 4:30 or 5 - ish
toad or gpm?

[Ricky]

Wow... I'm surprised so many people are so sensitive about people making jokes about his life.

He was an AMAZING artist. He created masterpieces that cannot be matched, whether he was strange as hell, or not. It was the disease vitiligo that caused his skin to turn white. I'm sure most know that, but some may not. No matter how strange he was, we will all remember him in our own way.

As much as some of you would like to think that ridicule is hate, if it were truly hate, there wouldn't be so much fun in it. The guy is remembered for many things, whether good or bad. We are all entitled to believe whatever the hell we want to believe, whether you like it or not. If I want to believe he is a pedophile, then I will, and I'll say it proudly whether the law (a bunch of potential morons on a jury) says so or not. First amendment protects me on that. If I want to believe that he did nothing wrong and that he just loved kids because he didn't have that type of childhood, then I'm free to believe he did nothing wrong. But what isn't fair is for someone to tell me what I should believe just because a jury, or some crazy money seeking mom, said so or not.

IMO, the guy was a fucking weirdo that made spectacular music in his time. But seriously, if you can't take the fact that someone is making jokes about him, then DON'T READ THEM. That's your choice, and we have ours. I for one love the guy, but will happily ridicule the hell out of him because the jokes are funny, and life is too short to take that seriously. What in the hell is waiting 1 or 2 or even 3 days or a week going to do? That changes nothing. Seriously, if everyone waited a week to start making jokes, someone would still bitch about it. His death is a tragedy, and very serious, but his life was very laughable and amazing.

Just my two cents. There's no reason to be so angry over people making jokes about it.

For those of you that like to laugh, read this: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/neverland_ranch_investigators?utm_source=infocus

[Devaclis]

Toad. We don't need to go to GPM until we decide if she is buying this bike.

[Horsman]

Toad. We don't need to go to GPM until we decide if she is buying this bike.
Gixxer 1000??? Then she can show Timmay how to ride... :slappers:

[MetaLord 9]

What 'chou know 'bout Gixxer1000?

[Horsman]

howabouts Zx-14 then - does that make you happy??? Pie goes Plaid!!!!

[pannetron]

MJ was so lucky to grow up in America. Where else can one start out as a poor black boy and end up as a rich white woman?

[DorJammer]

Today it was announced that one of the largest safety recalls was being put in place.

Seems that it goes back further then any other safety recall has ever done

All Kung Fu lunch boxes from the 70's are being recalled

Seems they represent a choking problem!

[Motodrew]

I heard MJ's last words were: "Take me to Children's Hospital."

[Devaclis]

Pedophile, indeed. Hopefully, if you are ever accused and ridiculed for something for so hateful, you will receive better treatment.


According to XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.com, the kid that said Michael Jackson touched him just came out and said he lied. He is saying his pops wanted loot being behind the reason of the false accusation. Also, reports from the initial autopsy are not good:

An autopsy on Michael Jackson revealed that the King of Pop’s emaciated body was riddled with needle marks and scars, and his head was virtually bald, it was reported today.

Jackson’s body had wasted away to a mere 112 pounds, and his stomach was completely empty except for partially dissolved pills, according to the London Sun.

Those handlers/killers/thieves of his need to be brought in!

After the sudden death of Michael Jackson Evan Chandler tells the truth. Evan- ”Now for the first time i can’t bare to lie anymore. Michael Jackson didn’t do anything to me, all of this was my father lies to escape from being poor.”

In 1993, Chandler told a psychiatrist and police that he and Jackson had engaged in sexual acts that included oral sex, the boy gave detailed description of Jackson’s genitals. The case was settled out of court for a reported $22 million, but the strain led Jackson to begin taking painkillers. Eventually he became addicted.

Now maybe for the remorse of his death Chandler decides to tell us the truth. ” I never meant to lie and destroy Michael Jackson but my father made me to tell only lies. Now i can’t tell Michael how much i’m sorry and if he will forgive me ”.Evan Chandler was tape-recorded saying amongst other things, “If I go through with this, I win big-time. There’s no way I lose. I will get everything I want and they will be destroyed forever…

Under the influence of a controversial father (Jordan Chandler) told his son to tell that Jackson had touched his penis.Jordan Chandler then told a psychiatrist and later police that he and Jackson had engaged in acts of kissing, masturbation and oral sex, as well as giving a detailed description of what he alleged were the singer’s genitals.

"Now for the first time i can’t bare to lie anymore. Michael Jackson didn’t do anything to me, all was my father lies to escape from being poor."

The reason we have not reported on this Jordan story is because of the credibility. We want you to know that him retracting his accusations may not be necessarily true, but we felt it was our duty to give you the hottest gossip and rumor.

Other sites of questionable repute are also reporting this, but it is only time before a scumbag news site like CNN or foxnews report it.

[ghostrider_9]

What 'chou know 'bout Gixxer1000?

I know a lot about it. What would you like to learn? Hahaha

[Horsman]

Wow Dana, If that was true - I think the whole public owes MJ a big, huge apology....

[Devaclis]

It has not been proven to be true. But it is getting around. We will see if it comes out to be factual. Regardless, there was NO proof that anything happened. Only accusations and public outcry.

[Spy007]

If he gave a detailed description of MJ's junk during his testimony and it wasnt disproven.... hmmmm

[Devaclis]

Yeah, that means guilty.

[Spy007]

Jeez.. I guess if I was accused of raping some girl and that girl was able to tell the investigators and lawyers that I have a freckle on the right side of my cock and whatnot, shes gotta be fucking delusional. Definately cant mean shes ever seen it. That case wouldnt hold water. Might as well get rid of the "lineups" too.... because describing a suspect in detail, totally doesnt make a case legit either.

[Hi11Zone]

Personaly none of us really know if he mallested kids. He never really had a child hood bec he was so famous so he feels at home around kids. Bye the way he has a skin pigmitation problem it runs in his family. He never turned him self white. Jokes this early is noo good.

[King Nothing]

Jokes this early is noo good.Too late. BTW, your grammar sucks.

[Nick_Ninja]

Too late. BTW, your grammar sucks.

And K_N is a grammar Nazi.

[Devaclis]

Jeez.. I guess if I was accused of raping some girl and that girl was able to tell the investigators and lawyers that I have a freckle on the right side of my cock and whatnot, shes gotta be fucking delusional. Definately cant mean shes ever seen it. That case wouldnt hold water. Might as well get rid of the "lineups" too.... because describing a suspect in detail, totally doesnt make a case legit either.

Does not mean you raped her. She could have just seen it. In a gay magazine or the picture on your mom's night stand. Being able to describe something does not mean it was used.

[Matrix]

NSFW due to language...Not really that funny either I might add.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVACUjHn6yU

[willb003]

I only made it 20 seconds in before stopping it.^^^^

[Devaclis]

Pretty good article. The pictures and stories are really great :)


http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/06/30/jackson.remembered.irpt/index.html

[Kim-n-Dean]

Who really gives a shit! However, since so many are pissed about MJ jokes, here's mine...

You know that arm band that Michael wears? Well, it's his version of the "patch". It's some little kids underwear. He's trying to quit.

[ThorsTwin]

McCauley Culkin is very sad these days. He can no longer get Neverland Ranch on his salad.

[Krafty-1]

Q:What do Ed McMahon, Farrah Faucet, and Michael Jackson what for Christmas?

A:Patrick Swayze

[Krafty-1]

You have to think about the timing of the day for this one.

Farrah Faucets final dying wish was that all children in the world be safe..................nuff said.

[GregsGSXR]

What happned to the jokes????

[willb003]

They DIED

[Autom8ed]

Best MJ joke I heard was off the Onion.

"King of Pop dead at 12.."

[T-Dub]

meh, love hom or hate him, he was a decent artist back in the day, then became a freak who bleached his skin, probably touched kids, and married Elvis' daughter as a way to get attention. He also endangered his own freakin' kid (if it's really his) when he dangled it off a balcony. In my feeble little mind, he will always be a freakish pedophile who should have died in jail.

BTW: keep the jokes coming. That Patrick Swayze one was jacked up, but funny.

[CaptGoodvibes]

Bye the way he has a skin pigmitation problem it runs in his family. He never turned him self white.

yeah I see that...

http://www.celebrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/jacksons.jpg
8)

[firefghtr]

these jokes are great!!!!

[nlh8584]

When you hear thunder in the sky its just elvis kicking the shit out of mj for sleeping with his daughter

[dapper]

Michael Jackson's last narrative: link (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKiyOAWDyCw&feature=related)

[King Nothing]

I like jokes about MJ because it makes other people mad.

[DavidofColorado]

When you hear thunder in the sky its just elvis kicking the shit out of mj for sleeping with his daughter

If you hear a loud rumble tonight in the sky, don't worry; it's not thunder. It's Elvis beating the crap out of Michael Jackson for marrying his daughter!

[DavidofColorado]

Michael Jackson's last narrative: link (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKiyOAWDyCw&feature=related)
Ironic, hee he.