OMG! Entertain me!

[Cat118!]

3 hours down and 2 to go tonight for Macroeconomics class!!!

And he mostly talks about himself.... not the teach....

Oh the humanity!! Stop the stories please!!:banghead:



K .... Entertain me please

[Sleev]

wanna hear a dirty joke?

[sloridr]

Wanna play patty cake?

[Sleev]

"would you like to play a game?"

[Cat118!]

yes, yes and yes

[sloridr]

Aren't we having fun now!!! What other fun games do you wanna play?

[Cat118!]

hmmmm lets play something a bit more fun!!!

Surprise me!

[sloridr]

hmmmm lets play something a bit more fun!!!

Surprise me!
Chinese fire drill, Doctor, Monoply, Operation, oh ya Jenga...Doctor?

[Cat118!]

hmmmm how would any of those work......
How about " I Spy" ?

[sloridr]

Now that i think about it your right

I spy something warm

[Cat118!]

toaster...... oven..... stove.... your tummy.... your arm pits........ heating pad?

[Pandora-11]

Ok...here goes.....very lame stuff.

Why did the elephant paint himself different colors?

(So he can hide in a bag of M&Ms....da dum)


Why did the elephant lie down in the middle of the sidewalk?

(To trip ants.)


How did the elephant get down from the tree?

(Sat on a leaf and wanted for autumn.)

Why did the elephant paint her head yellow?

(To see if blonds have more fun.)

How can you tell if there's an elephant in your bed?

(There's an E on his pajamas.)


What did the duck say as he bought chapstick?


("Put it on my bill.")


OK....so they are kid jokes....I'm a teacher for crying out loud.
I obviously need new material.http://www.cosportbikeclub.org/forums/images/icons/icon11.gif

[KawikaO.]

Now that i think about it your right

I spy something warm
is it pink? :hump:

[Cat118!]

Ok...here goes.....very lame stuff.

Why did the elephant paint himself different colors?

(So he can hide in a bag of M&Ms....da dum)


Why did the elephant lie down in the middle of the sidewalk?

(To trip ants.)


How did the elephant get down from the tree?

(Sat on a leaf and wanted for autumn.)

Why did the elephant paint her head yellow?

(To see if blonds have more fun.)

How can you tell if there's an elephant in your bed?

(There's an E on his pajamas.)


What did the duck say as he bought chapstick?


("Put it on my bill.")


OK....so they are kid jokes....I'm a teacher for crying out loud.
I obviously need new material.http://www.cosportbikeclub.org/forums/images/icons/icon11.gif

HAHAHA CUTE!

[sloridr]

toaster...... oven..... stove.... your tummy.... your arm pits........ heating pad?

It's brown and has pads

[Cat118!]

is it pink? :hump:

:shocked:

[Cat118!]

It's brown and has pads

Fresh baked brownies with heat pads???

[sloridr]

it can't hold its licker...

[KawikaO.]

it can't hold its licker...
a drunk chocolate lab in heat?

[sloridr]

Close but i'll give it to ya

[sloridr]

She is Dixi my little brown dog

[Cat118!]

hmmmmm can't hold Liquor??? I would say me.... but I dunno about the pad thing???

Ummmm Brown..... pads..... light weight...... and warm.... ????

Does it stink?

[Cat118!]

Awwwwww CUTE!!!!

[sloridr]

hmmmmm can't hold Liquor??? I would say me.... but I dunno about the pad thing???

Ummmm Brown..... pads..... light weight...... and warm.... ????

Does it stink?

Sorry Kaveeka (spelling) Brat you to it But yes sometimes she farts any it really stinks.

[sloridr]

Awwwwww CUTE!!!!
Thank you

[KawikaO.]

haha. mine just went into heat. nothin a little duct tape cant fix.

http://i338.photobucket.com/albums/n412/d-dubdh/111.jpg

[sloridr]

Dude thats some funny shit. Mines is all cut and cleaned out she won't be leaving no messes here

[Cat118!]

Here is my girl


http://i118.photobucket.com/albums/o110/Cat118/Jersey/l_151cc18803e64335805bc7ef3da22fcd.jpg

[KawikaO.]

well since i don't wear tighty whiteys i had to resort to the boxers.

[sloridr]

She's a hottie too.

[sloridr]

Man you gotta do what you gotta do. I've seen worse.

Well Ladies and Gentleman it is time for me to give my pillow some head. Cat118 glad i could help entertain you for a few.

[Cat118!]

thanks all!!!

[DavidofColorado]

:lol::no:

What's pink and smells like "tulips"

My tounge

Dr. Visit. . .

Barack Obama got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed he was white from the neck up to the top of his head.

In sheer panic and fearing he was turning white and might have to start working for a living, he called his doctor and told him of his problem.

The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately. After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Barack, and told him to drink it all.

Barack drank the concoction and replied, 'That tasted like bull shit!'

The doctor replied, 'It was. You were a quart low.'

=============
GREAT NEW
MEDICINE


A Japanese doctor
said, 'Medicine in my country is so advanced that
we
can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another,
and have him
looking for work in six weeks.'

A German doctor said, 'That's nothing, we can
take a lung out of one
person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in
four weeks.'

A British doctor said, 'In my country, medicine is so
advanced that we
can take half of a heart out of one person, put it in
another, and have
them both looking for work in two
weeks.'

A Chicago doctor, not to be outdone said, 'You guys are
way behind. We took a man with no brains out
of Chicago, put him in the White House, and now
half the country is looking for work.'


====
Not picking on Obama but I wanted to find a few short jokes.

======
He Said To Me.... I Said To him

He said to me . . .. I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
I said to him . . . You wear pants don't you?

He said to me . . . Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said to me. ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
I said to him ......Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said to me. ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
I said to him ... . They don't have time

He said to me. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I said to him .. . We don't know; it has never happened.

He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
I said to him . . .. They already have boyfriends.

I said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
He said. . . A widow.

He said to me . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him .. . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
====


Last one...


How do you turn a fox into an elephant?




Marry it.

[Cat118!]

HAHAHA!! Nice!!! Good timing too!! I am back in Macro this morning 8-12... I needed that!

[Cat118!]

alright another 4 hours of class..... got anything funny