More email's from my father in-law

[MAZIN]

So I think im just going to make this a ongoing thread.
A lil Back ground info;
My father in-law is in his 60's
Disabled vet living in the VA (The VA sucks)
He could kill me with his thumb but chooses no too.
Enjoy!

[MAZIN]

A. Did you know that the word "race car" spelled backward ..... still spells "race car"?

B. Did you know that "eat" is the only word that, if you take the 1st letter and move it to the last, it spells its past tense "ate"?

C. And have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in "illegal immigrants" and add just a few more letters, it spells: "Go home you free-loading, benefit-grabbing, kid-producing, violent, non-English speaking assholes .... and take those other hairy-faced, sandal-wearing, bomb-making, goat-loving, towel-headed, raggedy-ass bastards with you?"


How weird is that?

[MAZIN]

My Daughter Said….




My daughter just walked into the living room and said "Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of the window, take my TV, and stereo, and iPhone, and iPod, and my laptop. Please take all of my jewelry to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters. Then sell my new car, take my front door key away from me and throw me out of the house. Then disown me and never talk to me again. And don't forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to my brother.


Well, she didn't put it quite like that... she actually said...


"Dad this is my new boyfriend, Mohamed."

[grim]

My Daughter Said….




My daughter just walked into the living room and said "Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of the window, take my TV, and stereo, and iPhone, and iPod, and my laptop. Please take all of my jewelry to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters. Then sell my new car, take my front door key away from me and throw me out of the house. Then disown me and never talk to me again. And don't forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to my brother.


Well, she didn't put it quite like that... she actually said...


"Dad this is my new boyfriend, Mohamed."



HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA

[Vellos]

C. And have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in "illegal immigrants" and add just a few more letters, it spells: "Go home you free-loading, benefit-grabbing, kid-producing, violent, non-English speaking assholes .... and take those other hairy-faced, sandal-wearing, bomb-making, goat-loving, towel-headed, raggedy-ass bastards with you?"

This is just stupid.



"Dad this is my new boyfriend, Mohamed."

So is this.

[bulldog]

My Daughter Said….




My daughter just walked into the living room and said "Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of the window, take my TV, and stereo, and iPhone, and iPod, and my laptop. Please take all of my jewelry to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters. Then sell my new car, take my front door key away from me and throw me out of the house. Then disown me and never talk to me again. And don't forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to my brother.


Well, she didn't put it quite like that... she actually said...


"Dad this is my new boyfriend, Mohamed."
http://www.newsrealblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/thats_racist_animated1.gif

[Ted]

I prefer this one http://twitter.com/#!/Shitmydadsays

[Wrider]

This is just stupid.

So is this.


This is what is called "a joke".

[mastap07]

i like jokes...

two guys walked into a bar, the third one said ouch....

2 condoms walk by a gay bar, one turns to the other and says "wanna go get shit faced?"

[Wrider]

What'd the dick say to the condom?
Cover me, I'm going in!

[Zach929rr]

Women's rights

[bulldog]

This is what is called "a joke". A horribly racist joke against bi-racial dating :no:

[TinkerinWstuff]

http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/0809/a-seal-walks-into-a-club-demotivational-poster-1220319085.jpg

Good thing there's an unsubscribe button if someone doesn't like what someone else has to say....

[King Nothing]

A horribly racist joke against bi-racial dating :no:
Here, let me help you adjust your halo.

[MAZIN]

This is just stupid.




Sorry to offend your ivy league sense of humor...



[QUOTE=bulldog;579496]A horribly racist joke against bi-racial dating :no:


You know I would normally try to state I have many friends that are in committed "Bi-Racial" relationships and that you just have to take it as a joke with no harm intended but I think you would be offended if he was a smurf, an older man, even a dildo.

[bulldog]

Here, let me help you adjust your halo. Huh, I never said I was saint!

All I can say is I am Spanish and if my future father in law felt that way about me when I was introduced to her caucasian father I would have been crushed. Just seemed very ignorant to me.

Sorry to say TinkerinWstuff, but pretty there are rules on how far someone can say things...it's called rules and we do have them on CSC!






Sorry to offend your ivy league sense of humor...






You know I would normally try to state I have many friends that are in committed "Bi-Racial" relationships and that you just have to take it as a joke with no harm intended but I think you would be offended if he was a smurf, an older man, even a dildo. Actually no I would have prefered you would have said that and then I would have not assumed you took the same racist humor as your father in law. Mohamed is obviously a minority name and not a smurf, old mad, dildo....duh!

[Sarge]

... Mohamed is obviously a minority name ...

Not to take sides, but Mohammed is actually the most popular name in the world right now...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muhammad_(name)
http://www.foxnews.com/world/2010/10/28/mohammed-tops-list-popular-baby-boy-britain/
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article1890354.ece
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1324194/Mohammed-popular-baby-boys-ahead-Jack-Harry.html

[King Nothing]

Not to take sides, but Mohammed is actually the most popular name in the world right now...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muhammad_(name (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muhammad_%28name))
http://www.foxnews.com/world/2010/10/28/mohammed-tops-list-popular-baby-boy-britain/
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article1890354.ece
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1324194/Mohammed-popular-baby-boys-ahead-Jack-Harry.htmlyeah. you beat me to that point.

[bulldog]

yeah. you beat me to that point. :bs: Ok, let's act dumb now. We all know what the point of that joke was.

[salsashark]

I have posted in this thread...

[Wrider]

All I can say is I am Spanish and if my future father in law felt that way about me when I was introduced to her caucasian father I would have been crushed. Just seemed very ignorant to me.


I'm about as white looking as you can get, but my Spanish last name throws everyone off, as does when I start spouting off in Spanish. I've been glared at and stared at for communicating with my deaf friends in Sign Language, then speaking perfect English to others within a minute. I've been shunned by Hispanics, Asians, Blacks, Middle Easterners, other Whites, hearing, deaf, hearing impaired, disabled, able-bodied, skinny people, fat people, and almost everyone else you can think of.

What do I do in return? A self-deprecating joke usually calms them down and breaks the ice. I make racist jokes about myself all the time, I make fat jokes about myself all the time, I make jokes with the deaf guys about being the "outcast" in their group for being hearing, and with the hearing people about being deaf.

Laugh and go from there, I'm sure you're older than me, but you don't seem to have learned that yet, when you do your life will become a hell of a lot easier.

Sometimes you just gotta roll with the punches and go from there.

[Dr. Joe Siphek]

Sorry to say TinkerinWstuff, but pretty there are rules on how far someone can say things...it's called rules and we do have them on CSC!this is in the jokes section...anything goes...just like your mom :lol: kidding nate...we all know you can't take a joke, you can only dish em.

[TinkerinWstuff]

Sorry to say TinkerinWstuff, but pretty there are rules on how far someone can say things...it's called rules and we do have them on CSC!


Really? Like the guy who had the, "I'm pregnant! and kicked in the stomach" cartoon in his signature? I have a personal story of my own and could have cried foul but you didn't see me bitching like a hurt school girl.

Life's rough - get the fuck over it. If you don't like it, don't come back to the thread. Guaranteed something anyone says is bound to offend someone else.

[bulldog]

I'm about as white looking as you can get, but my Spanish last name throws everyone off, as does when I start spouting off in Spanish. I've been glared at and stared at for communicating with my deaf friends in Sign Language, then speaking perfect English to others within a minute. I've been shunned by Hispanics, Asians, Blacks, Middle Easterners, other Whites, hearing, deaf, hearing impaired, disabled, able-bodied, skinny people, fat people, and almost everyone else you can think of.

What do I do in return? A self-deprecating joke usually calms them down and breaks the ice. I make racist jokes about myself all the time, I make fat jokes about myself all the time, I make jokes with the deaf guys about being the "outcast" in their group for being hearing, and with the hearing people about being deaf.

Laugh and go from there, I'm sure you're older than me, but you don't seem to have learned that yet, when you do your life will become a hell of a lot easier.

Sometimes you just gotta roll with the punches and go from there. You are right man, and I wll just let this go now. I just know that racism sucks and wish more people would just chill with it and make assumptions of the person and not their race. Done with this thread now, sorry for the drama everyone, just hit a nerve....

[Dr. Joe Siphek]

nate you are the coolest mexican i know...other than my wife/kids :lol:

[bulldog]

Really? Like the guy who had the, "I'm pregnant! and kicked in the stomach" cartoon in his signature? I have a personal story of my own and could have cried foul but you didn't see me bitching like a hurt school girl.

Life's rough - get the fuck over it. If you don't like it, don't come back to the thread. Guaranteed something anyone says is bound to offend someone else. Thanks newbie...compare our join dates before you start talking to me about this forum...

[TinkerinWstuff]

Not to take sides, but Mohammed is actually the most popular name in the world right now...


:spit:
PRICELESS!!!!:applause:

[TinkerinWstuff]

Thanks newbie...compare our join dates before you start talking to me about this forum...

Oh sorry, I didn't realize I was treading on your turf :bow:

:loser:

[Dr. Joe Siphek]

pretty sure the guy w/ the sig line you are speaking about is also a cop...talk about irony.

[MAZIN]

You know what I'm sorry if you were offended.


Mods please delete this thread in hopes not to offend anyone else

[bendavis]

I'm offended that you would so quickly delete this thread because it may be offensive. How rude.

[bulldog]

You know what I'm sorry if you were offended.


Mods please delete this thread in hopes not to offend anyopne else Apology accepted and I am sorry for getting upset too.

[Zach929rr]

Stop the presses.

Hold the phones.

An apology on CSC.

[Dr. Joe Siphek]

shut up zach...you don't have a Dog in your avatar...so you will be ignored...it's animal racial profiling

[ghostrider_9]

If they start hugging and spooning, I am outta here!

[TinkerinWstuff]

sounds like a good excuse for everyone to get together and drink a beer

[MAZIN]

I'm offended that you would so quickly delete this thread because it may be offensive. How rude.


Im Sorry you were offended

[grim]

this thread makes me laugh hell all you fuckers make me laugh I might buy everyone here a beer in the near future!

[WolFeYeZ]

posting for free beer

[grim]

posting for free beer


good call wolfeyez you in for a beer

[Spooph]

LMAO! They can't pay somebody to come up with this type of reality show on Fox.... Anyways...

What's the difference between a truck load of bowling balls and a truck load of dead babies?

...

You can't unload the truckload of bowling balls with a pitch fork.

Hey, Hey, Hey....

Boy walks into a pharmacy to grab some condoms because he's got a feeling he will get lucky on his first-this-girl date tonight. He walks up to the pharmacist and asks "what kind of condoms" do you have?

Pharmacist is very helpful and polite and explains the intricacies about each condom, brand, benefits and detriments to him. The boy settles, slightly arrogantly on magnum ultra-ribbed super sparkly blue. He says something about it reminding him of being super man. The Pharmacist smiles at him politely. After the purchase the boy runs home to get everything just right for that night.

The boy arrives at girl's parents house for dinner before the date, she decided it would be a good thing on the first date. Her dad welcomes the boy with a warm hug and a sheepish grin. When they all sit down for dinner the father offers the evenings prayer but the boy insists. The boy prays, prays and prays. He prays about the government, about our soldiers, about how blessed this family is for having such a caring, kind, merciful heart, and then proceeds to pray about weird shit, like cockatoos and pinwheels. After about 20 minutes of prayer the girl gently prods him in the side, and under her breath mumbles: "I didn't know you were this religious". The boy pauses and takes a deep breath. He replies to her:

"I didn't know your father was the pharmacist"


...


...

...


More weird shit from Mazin' father-in-law!

[MAZIN]

lol

[TinkerinWstuff]

Spooph crossed my line and NOW I'm offended.

Am going to need at least two beers

[MAZIN]

Im sorry you were offended.

[Vellos]

Dem racist jokes weren't clever, therefor not funny. That is all.

[Zach929rr]

Posting to confirm interest in free beer.

[bendavis]

Posting to confirm interest in free beer.

+1

[grim]

Spooph crossed my line and NOW I'm offended.

Am going to need at least two beers

tinker you get a beer and a bitch drink for making such a bitch statement!

[grim]

Posting to confirm interest in free beer.

post confirmed free beer for you!

[grim]

+1

bendavis words must be involved in order to be eligible for free beer sorry i dont make the rules i enforce them.

[Cat118!]

Why are Asians always left out?

[ghostrider_9]

Why are Asians always left out?

They aren't. We just haven't made it that far yet. Stick around someone will post an Asian joke . . .

[Cat118!]

Sigh..... Let me find the popcorn smiley

[Survivalism]

Well despite the fact that this may hit a nerve for people i will tell my favorite racist joke, you may ask why and the answer is simple.

The things that mean the most end up being the most funny, if you cant see past the joke portion i feel sorry for you.



Why do all black people have nightmares?

Because we shot the only one that had a dream!


Flame away...

[bendavis]

Posting real words for free beer!

I'm trying to think of an asian joke, but i'm not sure any of them would hold up to the high standards of asian dad.

[sloridr]

I fucking offended I just want free fucking beer. Keep the jokes coming. 8)

[grim]

bendavis and sloridr you guys get beers too also just to assure everyone I'm a man of my word I'm seriously getting you all a beer!

[grim]

Well despite the fact that this may hit a nerve for people i will tell my favorite racist joke, you may ask why and the answer is simple.

The things that mean the most end up being the most funny, if you cant see past the joke portion i feel sorry for you.



Why do all black people have nightmares?

Because we shot the only one that had a dream!


Flame away...

haven't heard that one yet...it's got color. da dum ting!

[Ted]

Why do all black people have nightmares?

Because we shot the only one that had a dream!


Flame away...
I am offended . :wtf:

[Survivalism]

I am offended . :wtf:

Look on the bright side, apparently you get free beer now!

[Mother Goose]

You are right man, and I wll just let this go now. I just know that racism sucks and wish more people would just chill with it and make assumptions of the person and not their race. Done with this thread now, sorry for the drama everyone, just hit a nerve....
Typical Mexican response. ;)

[Mother Goose]

All this beer talk makes me want to go ride...... too soon? :D

[Ted]

Look on the bright side, apparently you get free beer now!

Hell Yeah .... Heinekens FTW !

[bendavis]

45 minutes bottle to bike.
















like i drink from a bottle...

[Vellos]

http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/2/4/4e657273-543b-4b22-88a0-5bbae798c271.jpg

[Cat118!]

Someone offend me damn it!!!! I want a beer!

[grim]

All this beer talk makes me want to go ride...... too soon? :D

AAhhhh i see what you did there!!!

[grim]

Alright folks My list for free Beer is coming to a close otherwise im going to have to skimp out on my mortgage payment to pay for everyone's beer's if you are on the following list congrats you get a free beer. Start throwing weekend dates out that works for everyone cause when the date is set and you dont show up for your free beer your screwed! Also were going to a PUB not a BAR or CLUB or someones house serving crappy ass canned beer i dont drink that shit were going to a PUB and everyone gets a beer thats on TAP No exceptions!!! heres the list

MAZIN

VELLOS

BULLDOG

TED

WRIDER

MASTAP07

ZACH929RR

TINKERINWSTUFF + A BITCH DRINK

KING NOTHING

SARGE

SALSA SHARK

DR.JO SOMETHING SOMETHING

WOLFEYEZ

SPOOPH

BENDAVIS

CAT118 AFTER YOUVE BEEN OFFENDED

SURVIVALISM

SLORIDR

MOTHERGOOSE

End of transmission

[MAZIN]

After thinking about it last night I would like to genuinely apologize, I did not think about all aspects before I posted those 2 "jokes".

[grim]

After thinking about it last night I would like to genuinely apologize, I did not think about all aspects before I posted those 2 "jokes".

yea well now you get a beer so good job!

[salsashark]

mmmmmm beer....


https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-XbIjzwVtkw4/TNorViFvTVI/AAAAAAAAL_8/LMT5par_tz4/beer.gif

[sprtbkbabe]

mmmmmm beer....


https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-XbIjzwVtkw4/TNorViFvTVI/AAAAAAAAL_8/LMT5par_tz4/beer.gif

^^That is awesome!

BTW - Only a Canadian would promote underage drinking :roll: (:devil1:)

[Sean]

"You're doing it all wrong. You've got to open your throat, relax your jaw, and cup the balls"

[MAZIN]

Sounds like expert advice from a true professional. 8)

[Sean]

Sounds like expert advice from a true professional. 8)Not my line, chief.

[MAZIN]

lol

[MAZIN]

A police officer pulls over a speeding car.

The officer says,' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir .

The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls,

Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?

The wife smiles demurely and says,
Well dear you should be thankful your radardetector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,

Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?

The officer frowns and says, And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir.
That's an automatic $75 fine.

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.

The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks,

WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??

The officer looks over at the woman and asks,
'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'


(I love this part)








Only when he's been drinking.

[MAZIN]

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question?...What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone ne, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer.

But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest! friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.

He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:

What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.

And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific ! experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him.

The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.

Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?

What would YOU do?
What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down below. OKAY?
















Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now....what is the moral to this story?


The moral is.....

If you don't let a woman have her own way....

Things are going to get ugly

[grim]

A police officer pulls over a speeding car.

The officer says,' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir .

The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls,

Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?

The wife smiles demurely and says,
Well dear you should be thankful your radardetector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,

Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?

The officer frowns and says, And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir.
That's an automatic $75 fine.

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.

The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks,

WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??

The officer looks over at the woman and asks,
'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'


(I love this part)








Only when he's been drinking.


WIN!

[Vellos]

Pretty sure Goose is under 21.

[grim]

Pretty sure Goose is under 21.

HMM And come to think of it i know that wolfeyez is not of age either. Im an Irish man but i will not produce beer to minor's i dont care if they drink or not im just not gonna give the beer to them. Therfore if you are not of age sorry your SOL on your free beer!!

[Dr. Joe Siphek]

Pretty sure Goose is under 21.:lol: this is the jokes section :pointlaugh:

[grim]

:lol: this is the jokes section :pointlaugh:

Meaning airplane right over my head...awesome well in any case i know wolfeyez is under age

[MAZIN]

Ahh youth, oh well im in for some swillin.

[cptschlongenheimer]

Why are you drunks not out riding?

[grim]

Why are you drunks not out riding?

I am unfortunately stuck at work and even when i decided yesterday to say f work and meet some people for a ride i got pulled over and got a speeding ticket...then missed the meetup and the group left!!

[King Nothing]

mmmmmm beer....


https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-XbIjzwVtkw4/TNorViFvTVI/AAAAAAAAL_8/LMT5par_tz4/beer.gif
HoLEE ish!

[Spooph]

Why are Asians always left out?

Because other than being smart, we know very little of the species.... I know that they are efficient, very well mannered, and more often than not, very quiet, non-intrusive, and very respectful. :think:


Why do all black people have nightmares?

Because we shot the only one that had a dream!


Flame away...

Brilliant!


Alright folks My list for free Beer is coming to a close otherwise im going to have to skimp out on my mortgage payment to pay for everyone's beer's if you are on the following list congrats you get a free beer. Start throwing weekend dates out that works for everyone cause when the date is set and you dont show up for your free beer your screwed!
End of transmission

Why am I on the list? I never got offended? Doesn't that mean I'm supposed to help buy the beer if I did the offending? Also, does this mean we can offend all we want as long as buy a beer at the end of the day? If so, it's on!

[Mother Goose]

Why am I on the list? I never got offended? Doesn't that mean I'm supposed to help buy the beer if I did the offending? Also, does this mean we can offend all we want as long as buy a beer at the end of the day? If so, it's on!
I'm offended that you're turning down free beer. :shock:

[bendavis]

Why am I on the list? I never got offended? Doesn't that mean I'm supposed to help buy the beer if I did the offending? Also, does this mean we can offend all we want as long as buy a beer at the end of the day? If so, it's on!

sooo. to re-cap... TWO free beers for everyone!

[MAZIN]

I'm offended that you're turning down free beer. :shock:


That makes two of us :wtf:

[ghostrider_9]

I forgot to be offended by any of this. Maybe I need to peel back a few hundred layers of thick skin so that I can be offended too . . .

But, I do want free beer! The only thing better than free beer is free cold beer!

[Devaclis]

This is my second favorite thread ever.

[Spooph]

I'm offended that you're turning down free beer. :shock:

Fantastic! Get ready to toast!


This is my second favorite thread ever.

What's your first?

[Devaclis]

Fantastic! Get ready to toast!



What's your first?

The thread regarding a pizza joint on Federal that was going to start taking Pesos as payment for food. That was a good old thread.

[grim]

Why am I on the list? I never got offended? Doesn't that mean I'm supposed to help buy the beer if I did the offending? Also, does this mean we can offend all we want as long as buy a beer at the end of the day? If so, it's on!



Its a half and half you get a beer for being offended because it makes me laugh that you got offended. OOOOORRRR you get a beer for offending someone else because it makes me laugh when your doing the offending! I however have not been offended or been an offender im just the ref for which offender, non offenders, or offendee's are receiving a free beer from me! The list explains it all cause the statement i jut wrote makes absolutely no sense!!

if your on the list you get a free beer on my behalf for making me laugh!:cheers:

[grim]

I forgot to be offended by any of this. Maybe I need to peel back a few hundred layers of thick skin so that I can be offended too . . .

But, I do want free beer! The only thing better than free beer is free cold beer!

Since someone has to be kicked off the beer list for being underage ghostrider_9 if you offend someone you will rightfully take their place!

[Spooph]

ah! I now understand the rules of engagement! In that case I will let my being offended perpetuate my offensiveness and continue with the humor....

[ghostrider_9]

Since someone has to be kicked off the beer list for being underage ghostrider_9 if you offend someone you will rightfully take their place!

I know I surely offended the woman that was going 60 in the fast lane while texting when I pulled up next to her and made a number of hand gestures . . . does that count?

[bornwildnfree]

Oh, do I get free rum if I offend someone every time I start a thread?

[King Nothing]

When do I get beer?

[TinkerinWstuff]

We're gonna need a keg

on with the offensive jokes.

Q: Why don't women fart?

A: Don't keep their mouths closed long enough to build up back-pressure



Man walks up to the pharmacy and asks for condoms with pesticide

Pharmacist says, "you mean spermicide"

Man says, "nope, definitely require pesticide. The ol' lady has a bug up her ass and I'm going in after it."

[grim]

We're gonna need a keg

on with the offensive jokes.

Q: Why don't women fart?

A: Don't keep their mouths closed long enough to build up back-pressure



Man walks up to the pharmacy and asks for condoms with pesticide

Pharmacist says, "you mean spermicide"

Man says, "nope, definitely require pesticide. The ol' lady has a bug up her ass and I'm going in after it."

BAAHAHAHHA DUDE THATS FUNNY I WAS ON THE PHONE TRYING TO PAY A BILL AND I BUSTED OUT LAUGHING

[grim]

When do I get beer?

When you offend someone!

[grim]

I know I surely offended the woman that was going 60 in the fast lane while texting when I pulled up next to her and made a number of hand gestures . . . does that count?

if one of the gestures was a :jerkoff: then your golden my son free beer for you!

[Mother Goose]

Oh, do I get free rum if I offend someone every time I start a thread?
What part of beer don't you understand? :D

[grim]

What part of beer don't you understand? :D

thanks for pointing that out! :cheers:

[laspariahs]

pretty sure the guy w/ the sig line you are speaking about is also a cop...talk about irony.

How is that ironic? Seems about right.

[Survivalism]

Youll have to pass my free beer along to someone else unfortunately, i still have some months left :(

Thanks for the offer though!

[TinkerinWstuff]

When do I get beer?


When you offend someone!

I think he may have meant, "when's this beer party hap'nin?" http://vfrworld.com/photos/data/827/drink1.gif

[bendavis]

I'll gladly ride down to meet you guys, all I'm privy to up here is Dave, Joel, and I just met GLOCKMAN a couple weeks ago... (even though he has lived 1 house away for God knows how long...) oh. and Greg... miss that guy. Too bad he never got to ride with me on one of the bikes that doesn't break down every ride.

[grim]

Youll have to pass my free beer along to someone else unfortunately, i still have some months left :(

Thanks for the offer though!

Well because your are obviously responsible I will reserve your free beer until you are able to have one!

[grim]

I think he may have meant, "when's this beer party hap'nin?" http://vfrworld.com/photos/data/827/drink1.gif

well we have to establish a good time for everyone to meet at a pub that has ample parking for motorcycles I will start a thread to set it up so be on the lookout for it!

[grim]

MY TURN BITCHES!!!!


ARABS

Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide. Let's have a look at the evidence: No Christmas?- No television?- No nude women?- No football?- No pork chops?- No hotdogs?- No burgers?- No beer?- No bacon?- Rags for clothes?- Towels for hats?- Constant wailing from some idiot in a tower?- More than one wife?- More than one mother-in-law?- You can't shave?- Your wife can't shave?- You can't wash off the smell of donkey?- You wipe your ass with your hand?- You cook over burning camel shit?- Your wife is picked by someone else?- Your wife smells worse than your donkey ?? Then they tell you that "when you die, it all gets better"?? No shit Sherlock!..... ?....It's not like it could get much worse!

[Spooph]

lol, win!

[OUTLAWD]

Women's rights

:spit:

[Survivalism]

MY TURN BITCHES!!!!


ARABS

Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide. Let's have a look at the evidence: No Christmas?- No television?- No nude women?- No football?- No pork chops?- No hotdogs?- No burgers?- No beer?- No bacon?- Rags for clothes?- Towels for hats?- Constant wailing from some idiot in a tower?- More than one wife?- More than one mother-in-law?- You can't shave?- Your wife can't shave?- You can't wash off the smell of donkey?- You wipe your ass with your hand?- You cook over burning camel shit?- Your wife is picked by someone else?- Your wife smells worse than your donkey ?? Then they tell you that "when you die, it all gets better"?? No shit Sherlock!..... ?....It's not like it could get much worse!

Ahaha!! Thats great!!

Oh and if i remember i will definitely throw you a pm for that beer when i am eligible, thanks again!

[PunyJuney]

I don't like beer, but I'll go....this should cover everyone.

Politically Incorrect

At the Senior Citizens Center they had a quiz the other day. I lost
by one point. The question was where do women mostly have curly hair?
Apparently, the correct answer was Africa .

One of the other questions was to name two things commonly found in
cells. It appears that Negroes and Mexicans is not the correct answer
either.

I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's
iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.

My wife told me I was no longer romantic, so I booked a table for the
two of us on Valentine's Night. Wouldn't you know it! She sucks at
snooker & eight-ball too!

There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center, but
I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets.

You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles, but at least they
drive slowly past schools.

A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his
girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He
said, "Her brother's got a mustache."

Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche & mentioned it on
Facebook. I said, "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" Next thing
I know, 4000 f.....g Muslims have added me as a friend!

Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I
said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in
my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn,
you sick bastard”

The FBI has discovered how to weave Muslim prayer mats out of plastic
explosives. Apparently prophets are going through the roof!

The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we could help
with the floods in Pakistan . I said we would love to, but our garden
hose only reaches to the end of our driveway.

[birchyboy]

^^ so wrong but so funny!

[Cat118!]

Because other than being smart, we know very little of the species.... I know that they are efficient, very well mannered, and more often than not, very quiet, non-intrusive, and very respectful. :think:


hmmmmm apparently you haven't gotten to know the fellow Asians of the CSC...LOL

Wait!! I mean... I am totally offended you think we are quiet and non-intrusive!!!

Gimme ma beer now