Tech Support

[sprtbkbabe]

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?



Customer: A white one...



Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.



Customer: Your left or my left?



****************************



Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it..



****************************



Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?



Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.



****************************



Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.



Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?



Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.



Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.



Customer: OK



Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?



Customer: Yes



Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.



****************************



Customer: I can't get on the Internet.



Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?



Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.



Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?



Customer: Five dots.



****************************



Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?



Customer: Netscape.



Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.



Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer..



****************************



Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.



****************************



Tech support: How may I help you?



Customer: I'm writing my first email.



Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?



Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?



****************************





A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.



Tech support: Are you running it under windows?



Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'



****************************




Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'



Customer: I don't have a P.



Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.



Customer: What do you mean?



Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Bob.



Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

[grim]

:lol: nice

[3D]

Good ones... While in the army, I had a Major tell me something was wrong with his mouse. So I bring him a new one, but before I exchange it I check the existing one out. I say, Sir, your mouse isn't plugged in. He says, Oh, I thought it was wireless. :wtf:

[#1Townie]

man i suck with computers but not that bad. lol

[TurboGizzmo]

It's only funny because it's true

[#1Townie]

NSFW


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmD_8cBqhW0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6K4iTkXgwAg&feature=relmfu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yTe6yEhgBw&feature=relmfu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMikPO6q7RE&feature=relmfu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELQoVSc_XzU&feature=relmfu

[TurboGizzmo]

Still one of my favorites http://youtu.be/W8_Kfjo3VjU (NSFW)

[Ghost]

NSFW


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmD_8cBqhW0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6K4iTkXgwAg&feature=relmfu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yTe6yEhgBw&feature=relmfu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMikPO6q7RE&feature=relmfu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELQoVSc_XzU&feature=relmfu

Ha! I love Foamy.

[Wrider]

I had a friend who worked tech support at CSU. She got a call one day from a lady and asked her to double-click on "My Computer". "Ummm what?" "Do you see the icon on the monitor that says "My Computer"?" "Yes" "Put your mouse over that and double click." *In the background my friend heard the tink of the mouse being put up to the monitor before the lady double clicked...

[grim]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dN3v0drnTdQ

[#1Townie]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dN3v0drnTdQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4Sn9sHHZW4&feature=related

[grim]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4Sn9sHHZW4&feature=related

"He's just a straight shooter with upper management written all over him"

[#1Townie]

yeah i loved that movie.

[grim]

yeah i loved that movie.

Gonna watch it when i get home now.

[#1Townie]

yeah i think im going to get drunk and play black ops.

[grim]

yeah i think im going to get drunk and play black ops.

Ps3 or 360?

[#1Townie]

ps3

[Ghosty]

The only people that have any reasonable excuse to be THIS computer illiterate are over the age of 50. Everyone under 50 has been exposed to personal computers from at least childhood or teens at the latest.

I swear, it's like immigrants that have been here more than a year, NO EXCUSE to not at least have some English literacy...

[JonnyD]

The only people that have any reasonable excuse to be THIS computer illiterate are over the age of 50. Everyone under 50 has been exposed to personal computers from at least childhood or teens at the latest.


And government employees. I used to work the help desk at the USGS. /shudder

[TurboGizzmo]

The only people that have any reasonable excuse to be THIS computer illiterate are over the age of 50. Everyone under 50 has been exposed to personal computers from at least childhood or teens at the latest.

I swear, it's like immigrants that have been here more than a year, NO EXCUSE to not at least have some English literacy...

SPEAK COMPUTER ENGLISH!!!!

[DorJammer]

The only people that have any reasonable excuse to be THIS computer illiterate are over the age of 50. Everyone under 50 has been exposed to personal computers from at least childhood or teens at the latest.

I swear, it's like immigrants that have been here more than a year, NO EXCUSE to not at least have some English literacy...


Wut?

over 50?

Listen whipper snapper, I was running TBBS software as WWIV-Net node for my BBS system with 16 1200 baud modems hooked up to a modem rack thru a T1 line my dam house as a friggin hobby back in 86. twin 286 computers hooker in serial with a full 16 color VGA moniter!

now get off my dam lawn!:sniper:

[Wrider]

Wut?

over 50?

Listen whipper snapper, I was running TBBS software as WWIV-Net node for my BBS system with 16 1200 baud modems hooked up to a modem rack thru a T1 line my dam house as a friggin hobby back in 86. twin 286 computers hooker in serial with a full 16 color VGA moniter!

now get off my dam lawn!:sniper:

And how many MB was your HD back then?

[vort3xr6]

Working in tech support at car dealerships was interesting to say the least.

Me trying to remote in: "what is your computer name?"
User: "Hewlett Packard"

Another user was complaining that he never receives any email. He had outlook installed but was clicking on outlook express every day. I told him to open up outlook and he had 2 years worth of company email he never saw.

[Ghosty]

over 50?

now get off my dam lawn!:sniper:
Hahahaa, nice!!! I think I worded that wrong, should've said 60+?, but you know what I meant. I forgive folks who are already retired, never had computers in school, and now that they're out of the workforce don't have that much exposure. Everyone else though, no excuse...

Speaking of modems, I'm older too, as long as we're reminscing...

TI 99/4a with a CASSETTE PLAYER to save/load programs! Apple ][plus & ][e, 300baud Hayes modem, TRS-80, Atari 2600 goodness. Nizzzzzzze. I loved all that shit, too much fun! Oh yeah, I was online BEFORE the Internet, eek. Think all-text 300baud direct-dial BBS message boards, no pictures, no graphics, ouch. Maybe I dialed into your BBS sometime, hahaa, what was it called? Remember "Pinecliffe"? Some guy in the mountains or something?...

Btw, Ryan: No HD's, we only had 5.25" floppy disks that held like 360k each, lol! :wtf:

http://oldcomputers.net/pics/floppy5.gif

[mdub]

He says, Oh, I thought it was wireless. :wtf:

yeah dummy did not want to give you the last word...

[#1Townie]

Haha floppy for the win! Oregon trail mofo!

[DorJammer]

And how many MB was your HD back then?


I ran twin Seagate 20 mb hard drives, it was the bauss!

[Sleev]

http://levgrossman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/zork.jpg

[TFOGGuys]

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lgfqz8RvrW1qbikau.jpg


http://imagemacros.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/rtfm_noob.jpg?w=720


That is all...

[Nobody]

One time I was helping a doctor who couldn't dial one specific number. Turns out, he thought 0 on his blackberry was alt + O. Anybody who has seen a bb keyboard will know how retarded that is.

[Racz]

Still one of my favorites http://youtu.be/W8_Kfjo3VjU (NSFW)

Hilarious

[Racz]

Haha it's a PICNIC error