Well, that's that

[dm_gsxr]

Rita drove off Monday morning. We spent the past month getting her gear packed in three Smart boxes and Monday the car was packed and she drove off to Virginia to start the next chapter in her life.

It's been a tough week for me. I didn't want this but she felt she if she wasn't my sole focus in life, she'd find someone who was.

On the positive side, i've been less stressed over the past month and am planning on some skiing this year.

So begins my next life phase.

Carl

[Ezzzzy1]

http://i125.photobucket.com/albums/p55/Ezzzzy1/images5.jpg
http://i125.photobucket.com/albums/p55/Ezzzzy1/images3-1.jpg
http://i125.photobucket.com/albums/p55/Ezzzzy1/lens3894852_1239050168college-party.jpg
http://i125.photobucket.com/albums/p55/Ezzzzy1/images4.jpg

:headbang:

[madvlad]

Lol oh EJ, always the life of the partay

[Jmetz]

Congratulations! Single life is where it's at!

[Cornfed]

Sorry dude. I don't wish divorce on any one. Even when it's easy it's gut wrenching. I think you'll find blow and whores will fill that hole in your sole very nicely though. Hit me up if you wanna get out and ride.

[#1Townie]

http://i125.photobucket.com/albums/p55/Ezzzzy1/images5.jpg
http://i125.photobucket.com/albums/p55/Ezzzzy1/images3-1.jpg
http://i125.photobucket.com/albums/p55/Ezzzzy1/lens3894852_1239050168college-party.jpg
http://i125.photobucket.com/albums/p55/Ezzzzy1/images4.jpg

:headbang:


And you didnt invite me????



NSFW

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TDhbJMLvQc&feature=youtube_gdata_player



Dm that sucks bro.... but time to have fun!!!

[3point5]

what about YOUR next chapter in YOUR life…

I know none of the background, but when I break up with a girl, I immediately focus on myself and and stop focussing on her…

write down some short term and long term goals, write down how you're gonna get there and get on it!

The next chapter starts now...

[Cornfed]

write down some short term and long term goals, write down how you're gonna get there and get on it.

I actually did that after mine. Lol

[derekm]

fuck ya! coke & chicks w std's!!!!!

[Jmetz]

And that's just breakfast.

[madvlad]

You know what I used to eat for breakfast? COCAINE! you know what I used to eat for lunch? COCAINE!

http://gleehab.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/jane-lynch-glee_l.jpg

[kingtut]

Ha ha, great movie.

[madvlad]

Indeed it is, matter fact gonna watch it tonight haha... but back on topic sorry to hear, time will heal the wounds brother but like others said focus on you and whatever you do occupy your time to avoid letting your mind carry you away with the pain.

[~Barn~]

G'luck with the going foward. Make it count!

[derekm]

You know what I used to eat for breakfast? COCAINE! you know what I used to eat for lunch? COCAINE!

http://gleehab.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/jane-lynch-glee_l.jpg

yeah, I dont think thats all she was eatin'

[Samko]

Forgetting Sarah Marshal
That's the movie you want to see. I just got done being depressed over my divorce. It's been a year since w***e left.I would say don't try do date right now.
Just get out and get laid as much as possible !
Don't do drugs or get drunk over it, you'll only get stuck in depression and become alcoholic or junkie. So when a girl breaks your hearth only thing that helps is more girls and lots of meaningless sex !

[madvlad]

Fuckin Samir hahaha

[JKOL]

Sorry dude. I don't wish divorce on any one. Even when it's easy it's gut wrenching. I think you'll find blow and whores will fill that hole in your sole very nicely though. Hit me up if you wanna get out and ride.

:imwithstupid:

Instead of hookers and blow, I got a motorcycle.

The best advice I got after my divorce was "its ok to be sad but don't let being sad cause you to miss out on life and new opportunities." I ended up becoming even closer to my 2 best friends, I got back in touch with some good friends that I had lost touch with after college, and I made some awesome new friends. I discovered my love of all things 2 wheels. The most important thing I discovered was even though my ex wanted nothing to do with me there are a lot of women that would love to spend time with me and it just so happens that each woman I have met so far has been younger and sexier than my ex (I love how that worked out).

Good luck and get ready for the next chapter, its going to be a good one!

[Mother Goose]

I just went through the same thing, now I'm racing and dating a 23 year old. :D It gets better, trust me.

[bulldog]

Yeah another one that went throuh this before. Sucked at the time, but I really am glad it happened and I am a happier person now. Plus got a way better girl now that loves me as much as I love her. Things will get better man....just keep yourself busy.

[JKOL]

I just went through the same thing, now I'm racing and dating a 23 year old. :D It gets better, trust me.

:headbang:

[Sean]

I just went through the same thing, now I'm racing and dating a 23 year old. :D It gets better, trust me.
:imwithstupid:

This. My life is soooooo much better since I left my first wife in Texas! It sucks at first, but keep an your chin up, an open mind and an adventurous spirit, and you'll have the time of your life! :harrrrr:

[sprtbkbabe]

Chicks are trouble! Stay away from 'em, man!



...well, most of 'em are ;)



Get on with what's important in your life and do all the things that she held you back from doing. In time, you'll find someone who shares the same hobbies and doesn't want the world, and those in it, to revolve around her.

[grim]

Great googly moogly how many fuggers here have been married and divorced once already????????????????

[Mother Goose]

First one is practice.

[grim]

First one is practice.

Not for me.

[bulldog]

Great googly moogly how many fuggers here have been married and divorced once already???????????????? Not all of us are still youngsters like you :D

My divorce didn't come till about 29...was with the girl 10 years

[#1Townie]

Great googly moogly how many fuggers here have been married and divorced once already????????????????


First one is practice.

This is why marriage is a joke. I will never get married.

[grim]

This is why marriage is a joke. I will never get married.

Its not like that for all marriages. :lol:

I think its time for a new Poll i am genuinely interested to see how many people here have been married and divorced.

[JKOL]

Great googly moogly how many fuggers here have been married and divorced once already????????????????

Just be glad you know a bunch of people that have gotten divorced. It means you might be on the good side of the 52% of marriages that fail.

8 years with the ex, never thought it would end til it did.

Good luck to you Grim!

[grim]

Just be glad you know a bunch of people that have gotten divorced. It means you might be on the good side of the 52% of marriages that fail.

8 years with the ex, never thought it would end til it did.

Good luck to you Grim!

I had no idea you were ever married man! All this time i knew you i though you were just some young little whippersnapper ladies man who just went from girl to girl and would never get married.

[bulldog]

8 years with the ex, never thought it would end til it did.

Good luck to you Grim! I think this is what Grim is not realizing.....none of us got married thinking it would end. Even when it happened to me it was a huge surprise. I thought I would never get divorced either till it happened.

[JKOL]

I had no idea you were ever married man! All this time i knew you i though you were just some young little whippersnapper ladies man who just went from girl to girl and would never get married.

Just trying to make up for lost time. Hardly a ladies man, a ladies man can pick up at will, most girls I meet happen by dumb luck. For some reason a lot of people guess I am 5-6 years younger than I am. Thats how I ended up on a date with a 19 year old a couple months back, she guessed I was younger, I guessed she was older, she was at a bar afterall. Like I said, younger and hotter than the ex, so all is well.

[JKOL]

I think this is what Grim is not realizing.....none of us got married thinking it would end. Even when it happened to me it was a huge surprise. I thought I would never get divorced either till it happened.

Same here, I never thought it would end because I refuse to quit. My ex felt differently obviously.

Marriage is a lot more work than most realize. My grandparents weren't married 50+ years because they were a perfect match, they remembered to do the little things, and busted their asses.

[#1Townie]

Its not like that for all marriages. :lol:

I think its time for a new Poll i am genuinely interested to see how many people here have been married and divorced.


At 52% i stand by my statement. Not bashing you guys its just gow i feel with it all. Whats the point?

So fall in a nice small percent... Never been married.... no divorce.

[Darth Do'Urden]

Dated my wife for 6 weeks. Been married over 16 years.

Though it all nearly came apart at the seams right at the 10 year mark. We were a WRECK for a good year AFTER she decided not to leave me. Only with God's help did we get through it all. We've been stronger than ever for the past 4 years or so.

I would never discount the stubbornness or stupidity of another person as to say that "it'll never end". But I do know that with a true "til death do we part" mentality of BOTH parties, you can weather anything. The problem is that most people in our society don't hold marriage as a sacred bond. They treat it as a matter of trying on a situation and seeing if they can live with it so long as it doesn't get "too" stressful, irritating, inconvenient, upsetting, hurtful, etc. ad infinum.

[JKOL]

I would never discount the stubbornness or stupidity of another person as to say that "it'll never end". But I do know that with a true "til death do we part" mentality of BOTH parties, you can weather anything. The problem is that most people in our society don't hold marriage as a sacred bond. They treat it as a matter of trying on a situation and seeing if they can live with it so long as it doesn't get "too" stressful, irritating, inconvenient, upsetting, hurtful, etc. ad infinum.

FACT.

Congrats BTW!

[dm_gsxr]

what about YOUR next chapter in YOUR life…

I know none of the background, but when I break up with a girl, I immediately focus on myself and and stop focussing on her…

write down some short term and long term goals, write down how you're gonna get there and get on it!

The next chapter starts now...

I'm working on my next chapter. I figure to spend a bit of time working on me. Just going out and enjoying the things I couldn't enjoy guilt-free. It is tough but I'm moving on. I went out four wheeling yesterday (Sunday) and had a pretty good time heading up Rollins Pass.

I'm really working on liking myself as I am. I'd almost given up last time which might have driven me somewhere a saner (older, wiser) me might have avoided.

I do get to keep the house and stay in Colorado. I recently even got a raise after three years. I just rented out one of the rooms in the house to someone who's a techie over at IBM and so far has spent his time in his room. So it's still quiet (more or less).

I went to a Robert Cray/Anders Osborne concert at The Boulder Theater last Tuesday and went four wheeling yesterday, neither of which would have been acceptable entertainment. I've restarted my gaming sessions (well, starting Oct 7th anyway) and even went to GenCon last month.

There is this young lady I'm finding I'm sharing quite a few interests with from learning to play guitar to small venue concerts to, well a few other things. So I'm taking it slow, making sure we have some interests, enjoy each other's company, and that she's not bat-shit insane (like my first wife; *whew*).

Thus starts my next chapter...

:)

Carl

[dm_gsxr]

Great googly moogly how many fuggers here have been married and divorced once already????????????????

Twice now, helping to balance the statistics :)

Carl

[dm_gsxr]

I did post a thread a couple of months back about it, but in summary:

I have interests, being a gamer is number 1 and has been my gateway drug into other interests such as computer programming. Riding a bike has been number 2 for almost as long, from when I lived with my aunt and uncle for a year. And guitar for 15 years (actual lessons Dec 2010 though :) ).

Her interests revolve around concerts, shows, and museums, hiking and camping, and generally being outside and absorbing.

The problem was that she wanted someone with exactly the same interests and desires. It wasn't that I wanted to but couldn't go four-wheeling. But I shouldn't have wanted to go four-wheeling in the first place. It wasn't that I wanted to game with my friends but she wouldn't let me, it was that I shouldn't have wanted to play in the first place.

And things that fell out of favor with her, like skiing (she got me outdoors and learning how to ski and I really enjoyed it), were supposed to fall out of favor with me too. Not that I wasn't allowed to go, but that I didn't want to go any more.

I shouldn't have been trying to figure out what she wanted to do, I should have already known.

And she hated the things I liked to do; motorcycles, gaming, computers, woodworking, and now learning to play guitar and bass and harmonica and piano (music in general).

Anyway. Yea, I'll be thinking about it for a while, unknown how long. Hopefully I'll find someone in my various interests who share them, or at least don't mind if I indulge.

Maybe learning the guitar will get me the chicks :D

Carl

[bulldog]

I did post a thread a couple of months back about it, but in summary:

I have interests, being a gamer is number 1 and has been my gateway drug into other interests such as computer programming. Riding a bike has been number 2 for almost as long, from when I lived with my aunt and uncle for a year. And guitar for 15 years (actual lessons Dec 2010 though :) ).

Her interests revolve around concerts, shows, and museums, hiking and camping, and generally being outside and absorbing.

The problem was that she wanted someone with exactly the same interests and desires. It wasn't that I wanted to but couldn't go four-wheeling. But I shouldn't have wanted to go four-wheeling in the first place. It wasn't that I wanted to game with my friends but she wouldn't let me, it was that I shouldn't have wanted to play in the first place.

And things that fell out of favor with her, like skiing (she got me outdoors and learning how to ski and I really enjoyed it), were supposed to fall out of favor with me too. Not that I wasn't allowed to go, but that I didn't want to go any more.

I shouldn't have been trying to figure out what she wanted to do, I should have already known.

And she hated the things I liked to do; motorcycles, gaming, computers, woodworking, and now learning to play guitar and bass and harmonica and piano (music in general).

Anyway. Yea, I'll be thinking about it for a while, unknown how long. Hopefully I'll find someone in my various interests who share them, or at least don't mind if I indulge.

Maybe learning the guitar will get me the chicks :D

Carl
Since I went through something very similar I will post.

After reading the above of what you posted I have to say that I do not think she was being fair with you. Of course I do not know the entire story, but making someone feel they need to conform to what she liked is not right; and even more unfair to make the person feel like they should not want to do things cause she felt that way. WTF, you cannot change someone to want or feel what they want; especially when it comes to your hobbies and if a woman does succeed in this then they are not getting the true you, but some fake molded person they want. To hell with that, a person should like you for you!

Your ex sounds a lot like mine and just wanted the “perfect man”: which I do not believe exists. They need to realize that things like motorcycles, gaming, music is a small issue compared to a guy they may get that cheats on them, beats them up mentally and/or physically, has a drug/alcohol problem, etc. A relationship has to be filled with compromise and she should have been ok enough that those things made you happy. Honestly I think you are better off without this girl. Just like with me, it was hard to see it at first but I did eventually see the light that I tried much harder than she did. Divorce was the hardest thing I ever went through, but in the end it made me a better person and helped me to see the relationship I really wanted rather than trying so hard to fix the one that wasn’t working. Time went by and I did eventually meet a girl that was a much better match for me and made me much happier. There were times I felt it would never happen and got depressed for that, but in the end I am a better person. You sound like a good guy and I do not think it is easy to find good guys nowadays so a better woman will see this in you one day and I have faith you will grow from this like I did.

I think you are doing all the right things and and keeping yourself busy and embracing the things you could not do when she was with you. Right now just have fun and don’t worry about finding another girl; it usually happened when you least expect it anyways. You got people to talk to here on this board that have went what you are going through so always know that. Hell I don’t know you, but you ever need someone to talk to that went through this feel free to PM me.

[MetaLord 9]

The future is wide open and yours to do with as you please. Take the time to be selfish, cross some things off the bucket list, and reacquaint yourself with yourself. Time is a gift.

[JonnyD]

I think you are doing all the right things and and keeping yourself busy and embracing the things you could not do when she was with you. Right now just have fun and don’t worry about finding another girl; it usually happened when you least expect it anyways.

+ 1 to this!

It was a bit ago, but when I realized that riding a motorcycle was going to be one of those life long loves, I quit even trying to date women that couldn't or wouldn't understand that. You'll find one (or more) that will want to walk with you, rather than direct your life. Glad you're out enjoying what you should!

[sumthin_major]

Happily divorced here too. You just go out there and have fun for awhile. If you add up all the money you've spent and now take that same money and put it in a jar for a year. You'll be able to buy something nice next year. I bought a bass boat 2years after my divorce back in 2002. It made me and my son happy for years and got us closer by the experience . That's been replaced by atv's now. Do what you like.

[Wrider]

Dated my wife for 6 weeks. Been married over 16 years.


My aunt and uncle are very similar. 18 year age gap. Dated 3 weeks. Been married for almost 25 years now.

[Darth Do'Urden]

My aunt and uncle are very similar. 18 year age gap. Dated 3 weeks. Been married for almost 25 years now.

That's awesome. When you know you know. And "knowing" goes far beyond physical attraction.

However...if either of my kids try to pull that crap, there's gonna be blood. =P

[Wrider]

That's awesome. When you know you know. And "knowing" goes far beyond physical attraction.

However...if either of my kids try to pull that crap, there's gonna be blood. =P

Lol there was almost blood for the first few years until they realized that my uncle (older one ) really did love my aunt (the youngest girl in the family). It's kinda funny watching my grandparents and my uncle interact because they're so close in age. They get along great now!