Mother Goose
Wed Nov 29th, 2006, 10:34 AM
Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2006
Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you 30??
Number 2
In the 60s, people took 'Acid' to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take 'Prozac' to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration .
Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you 30??
Number 2
In the 60s, people took 'Acid' to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take 'Prozac' to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration .