1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be, until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- I will tell you to stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.


Friendship is like
peeing your pants:
Everyone can see it,
but only you can
feel the true warmth.
Have a super Thanksgiving!!