Q. What do 57,000 abused women every year have in common?
A. They don’t fucking listen
Q. Where’s the first place a woman goes after getting out of the battered wives shelter?
A. The kitchen, if she knows what’s good for her.
Q. What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
A. Nothing, you’ve already told her twice.
Three battered wives walk into a bar.* At least, that’s what their husbands told the cops.

Q. What’s better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics?
A. Not being retarded.

A blonde who suspects her husband cheating on her goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly, opens the door, and, sure enough finds him naked in the arms of a redhead. Well, now she's angry. She opens the purse and takes out the gun. But as she does so she is overcome with grief and points the gun to her own head.
The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it."
"Shut up", she says. "You're next."

A blonde, her husband, and two children are sitting in the living room watching tv.
The blonde turns to the husband and says, "Honey, why don't we send the children out back to P-L-A-Y so we can fuck!"



more to come