Q. How do you make five pounds of fat look good?
A. Give it a nipple.
Q. What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
A. $3.99 a minute.
Q. What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.
Q: Why is interrogating a Mexican like pool?
A: The harder you hit, the more English you get out of it.
Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
A: Slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.
A stoner walks into a 7-11 and asks the clerk, "Got any weed?"
The clerk responds, "Hell no, you damn stoner."
The next day the stoner returns he asks the clerk, "Got any weed?"
The clerk outraged, smashes the stoners head on the counter and says, "Look you stoner, if you come in here and ask if I got weed one more time I will nail your feet to the floor."
So.. the next the day the stoner walks in and asks the clerk, "Got any nails?"
The clerk says, "No."
So the stoner asks, "Got any weed?"
Q: How do you get a retard to kill himself?
A: You give him a knife and ask him who's special.
Q: What do you do if an epileptic person has a seizure in your bath tub?
A: Throw in the laundry.
Q:How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:Want to ride a bike?
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Originally Posted by shmoab
