Piece of String

[t_jolt]

I think hes hitting on you....

[MetaLord 9]

!!!!11!1!

[Sully]

FTL.... .... uhm.. yah, no... .. he's not...

[Rednarb]

NOT-
I too have some issues.
wooden leg with a carbon kickstand.
simultaneous bowel and bladder evacuation at roughly 69mph.
huge ears which act like aerofoils even at low speeds.
glass eye.
premature ejaculator.
mad flatulance.
IBS
mild to moderate bipolar disorder.
turretts syndrome--sh_t, f_ck

just to name a few.

I think your long lost brother, R6SRider, lives in Parker!

[SaShWhO]

oh yeah--almost forgot!
to please salsa and keep the "overall theme of the thread" going on
(who knows there might be more string jokes we haven't heard).

speaking of certain parts of my man anatomy:

I thought it was a STRING until I peed out of it

[jimwallace]

I kissed a girl and I like it...hope my boyfriend don't mind it

my wife sings that song when it on, and i still cant get her to do it........... frustrating

[Sully]

Find her a hot chick and maybe she'll change her mind ???

[t_jolt]

what was that one song by that country singer, (edit Rodney Carington)

" i've got a 12 inch dick and dozen roses and pick up truck full of huba huba hey..."

[y_merkle]

Okay okay another classic joke that is good for the kiddos.

There's a Mommy Mole, a Daddy mole and of course a Baby Mole.
One day Mommy mole pops her head out of the "Mole Hole" and says, "I smell something good in the air."
Curious Daddy mole decides to pop his head out the "Mole Hole" to sniff the air. "Your right, I think it smells like ginger."
"No , No I think it smells like honey." Says Mommy mole.
Finally Baby Mole who is trying to squeeze between Mommy and Daddy Mole says......
"No No, you both are wrong.... it smell like Mole-asses!" Get it huh huh huH!

[siriuschris]

HA!

[Chilly]

ok, this might offend a few people, but isn't that why we are here anyway


Why do African Americans have nightmares??

Cause we killed the only one that had a dream..




Don't hate me, I'm just bringing back the jokes to the thread

From the keyboard of such a "hot woman???" I hope this "we" you speak of doesn't include me, or anyone I am around.... I know it's supposed to be funny... *sore spot*

[dominatrix]

sorry, I knew it would offend some... not my beliefs or feelings, just one of the only jokes I remember bc of how rude it is... I offically issue a huge MEA CULPA (sp)

[Nerves]

A man walks into a bar on the 3rd floor of a nice hotel and sits next to a man in a expencive suit and glasses. After ordering his drink the man next to him orders a shot of the "good stuff". The bartender pours the drink and the man downs the drink in a hurry. After a few seconds the man in the suit gets up, runs to the open window and jumps out. With a stuned look on his face the man looks at the bartender and says "dont just stand there, call 911"!! The bartender just contenues to wipe down the bar and not long after the man in the suit walks in the door and sits back down. Stuned and not quite sure what to say the man just sits and stares as the man in the suit repeats the prosses two more times returning unharmed each time. So the man turnes to the bartender and demands "the good stuff'. After he downs it, he runs for the window and jumps. The bartender shakes his head and picks up the phone. As he diles 911 he looks at the man in the suit and says, "Your such a dick when your drunk Superman".

[tarded400]

A man with a monkey walks into a bar. The monkey hops onto the bar, grabs a peanut and shoves it down his throat. Then, he hops over to the pretzels and swallows one. Finally, the monkey jumps over to the pool table and swallows the cue ball. The bartender gets mad and makes him leave.
The man comes in the next day, and the monkey hops onto the bar, grabs a peanut, and sticks it up his butt then eats it. Then, he grabs a pretzel and sticks it up his butt, then eats it. The bartender gets angry again and asked what is wrong with the monkey- the man says "Well, after the cue ball, he measures everything first."




A preacher was making his rounds on a bicycle, when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn mower. 'How much do you want for the mower?' asked the preacher.
'I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bicycle,' said the little boy. After a mom ent of consideration, the preacher asked, Will you take my bike in trade for it?'
The little boy asked if he could try it out first, and, after riding the bike around a little while, said, 'Mister, you've got yourself a deal.'
The preacher took the mower and began to crank it. He pulled on the rope a few times with no response from the mower.
The preacher called the little boy over and said, 'I can't get this mower to start.'
The little boy said, 'That's because you have to cuss at it to get it started.' The preacher said, I can't cuss. It's been so long since I became a Christian that I don't even remember how to cuss.' The little boy looked at him happily and said, 'You just keep pulling on that rope. It'll come back to ya.

[gtn]

A boy was crossing campus one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess". He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, 'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.


Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The boy said, "Look, I'm an engineer and I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

[SaShWhO]

what do you say to a one legged hitch hiker???-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------??????














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