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Thread: You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. if...

  1. #1
    Senior Member Tipys's Avatar
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    You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. if...

    Saw this on another Forum thought I mite share

    You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. (Some Quick Unimportant Immature Dumbass) If ...

    Here's a handy guide to SQUID spotting. Are YOU a SQUID? Could you be considered a SQUID by other bikers? Take the following test and find out ... If you say "Hey! That's what I do !" to more than a few of these statements, you're in serious trouble! Rehabilitation isn't out of the question, it just takes a lot of effort and a lot of maturity on your part.

    You might be a SQUID if:

    "You have to stop on the shoulder of an ON Ramp to unstrap the helmet from the side of your bike and actually put it on, because obviously Highway riding is so much more dangerous than riding down the street. I stopped with a kid who did this yesterday while cars were zipping by us at 60mph."

    You constantly "throttle tune" your bike at every red light


    You have any fake animal fur (zebra, leopard, etc.) covering the plastic on your bike


    - You didn't know your bike came with a tool kit !

    "You ride around with your full face helmet stuck on top of your head in such a way that the chin bar is resting squarely above your eyebrows."

    You ride in sandals

    You bad mouth all "other" brands of bikes (and have never ridden them)

    You tell anyone you have gone 160 on the street

    Your "racing" jacket is from Wal-Mart.

    You think Arai is Jamaican for OK

    You don't have a clue what a Buell is

    You bought a Sport bike and put saddlebags and a sissy bar on it so you can go to Sturgis.

    You keep fouling plugs riding with the choke on

    You have Harley stickers on your car and ride a Rebel

    Your Mom and Dad won't ride with you

    There is a crack in your helmet

    You helmet is the wrong size

    You ride with ANY safety features on your bike not working

    You have a cup holder duct taped to your handlebars.

    You have a fuel injected bike with a DynoJet / Factory Jet kit sticker

    You install race compound tires yet most of your rides consist of 10 minute jaunts across town in gridlock.

    You grind down the feelers under the foot pegs with a bench grinder so people will think you can REALLY corner.

    You're 100 lbs. overweight and complain that your bike just can't seem to hold that inside line.

    You drive out of state to ride someplace where helmet laws aren't enforced.

    Your rear sprocket closely resembles a radial saw blade.

    Your brakes let out a spine tingling squeal every time you come to a stop at an intersection

    You have all of your "sponsors" decals on your bike and patches on your leathers.

    You've just installed a full titanium exhaust, racing cams, ported & polished the cylinder head, and K&N air filter on you new GSXR-1000, but for the life of you can't figure what happened to the choke knob on the dash.

    You study those wacky British street bike magazines for articles on how to do stoppies, burnouts and wheelies. Yet the shop manual for your bike is still yet to be opened.

    You installed a dry brake system on your gas tank because Team Yoshimura Suzuki used one at Daytona.

    You don't use an O-ring chain.

    You wear leathers with your name and number across the back, except you're not a racer.

    Your helmet has a well known cartoon character on in.

    You ever parked your bike on asphalt on a hot summer day and the kickstand dug into the soft pavement causing your bike to fall over.

    Your helmet looks like standard issue for the 3rd Reich.

    Your safety gear in the summer consists of a tank top, shorts and tennis shoes.

    if you ever removed the gas cap bolts to reduce weight.

    You ride wearing cut-offs, sandals, and a mesh tank top.

    You saw the SQUID movie "Biker Boyz." Twice.

    You have any "NO FEAR" decals on your motorcycle.

    You think that a wheelie is the mark of a skilled rider.

    You ride around with your $500 SHOEI bungie netted to your rear seat.

    You drag your brand new $300 AGV boots in order to simulate years of hard cornering use just so you can brag about your 'years' of hard cornering use.

    Your idea of head protection is a do-rag bandanna and a pair of Oakley Blades.

    You think that burnouts impress the chicks.

    If you ever high sided a passenger.

    You're only riding your CBR600F2 until you get your Harley put back together.

    You never get your bike out of second gear in the city.

    Your rear brake pads aren't even scuffed.

    You ever installed a fender eliminator kit.

    You thought about putting a sidecar on your GSX-R.

    You ride a Suzuki Katana (any size, the bigger the SQUIDer)

    You've ever low sided a dealer demo unit that was parked inside a showroom.

    Your friends won't ride with you anymore.

    You brag about your many wrecks.

    You don't know what a SQUID is.

    You ever high-sided from a intentional stoppie.

    Everytime you get a new scratch on your fairing, you get a new decal to cover it up.

    YOU think that you're cool.

    You ever fell off while doing a wheelie.

    You had your nickname painted, taped, or etched anywhere on your helmet, leathers, or bike.

    Only you know what your personalized tag means.

    Your insurance agent refuses to return your phone calls.

    You stand up on your pegs while riding.

    You ever bought any dress-up items for your bike from J.C. Whitney & Co.

    You tailgate ANYONE!

    Your chain ever rusted to the point of having to be replaced.

    You ever raced a scooter with your sportbike ... and LOST!

    You wear a cheap helmet.

    You drilled holes in your fairing to try to reduce weight or increase handling.

    You polished your frame.

    Your bike has braided hoses and brake lines.

    Your street bike is safety wired.

    You've got a K&N decal, but not the filter.

    You ever tried to make your bike backfire.

    You ever snapped off a foot peg by standing on it.

    You run stop signs out of habit.

    You have colored bar end weights, hand grips, or engine case bolts.

    You believe EVERYTHING that you read in motorcycle magazines.

    You wheelie between lights in traffic to impress car and truck drivers.

    You've ever knocked your bike over by leaning up against it when it was parked.

    You swear that your factory stock Seca II will do 160mph on the top end.

    You ever wrecked while trying to impress chicks.

    You consider rolling stops to be perfectly legal.

    Your street bike has a steering dampener.

    You never broke in your new bike's engine properly.

    You ride a sportbike and wear a half helmet with flight goggles.

    Your new colored windscreen matches your Oakely Blades perfectly.

    You've ever high-sided in your own driveway.

    You ever tried to do something on the street that you saw in a TV action series.

    You ever let someone patch your performance radial tire with a plug.

    Your rear tire is bald in the center but still has lots of tread on each side.

    Your street bike has a wheelie bar.

    You let anyone who doesn't have a motorcycle of their own ride yours.

    More than half of your bike's original plastic has been replaced by carbon fiber parts.

    You own a carbon fiber keyfob.

    Your knee pucks have comical faces.

    You're riding a sportbike but only until you get your Harley out of the shop.

    You high rev your cold engine after cranking.

    You ride without insurance or a license endorsement.

    You only race against smaller displacement bikes.

    You've ever bought cheap tires.

    You rev your engine to impress others.

    You let complete strangers ride your bike.

    You ever split lanes with traffic where it wasn't legal to do so.

    You think carbon fiber is IT!

    You've never oil your chain.

    You're still using the factory pre-set suspension settings.

    Your bike alarm makes annoying sounds when activated.

    You constantly open and close your throttle at a stop light just to see the tach needle jump.

    You paid someone $400 to airbrush your $175 helmet.

    Your bike alarm talks.

    You like to demonstrate your annoying bike alarm every chance you get.

    You ever took off so quick that your passenger rolled off the back!

    You NEVER look over your shoulder when you change lanes.

    You've ever left your bike running while you went into a convenience store and it was gone when you came back out.

    You think neon is cool.

    You don't know HOW to adjust your adjustable suspension.

    You carry a color matched wheel or disc lock but never use it!

    You use cheap gas ( 90 octane or weaker).
    R.I.P. Lahela 10/12/1986-08/01/2008

    Want to become a super hero? http://www.donoralliance.org/info-page-1

    "I don't fail I just succeed at finding ways that don't work."
    Chris Titus



    CSC Spelling Bee Champ 2008 and 2009

  2. #2
    Senior Member Tipys's Avatar
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    Re: You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. if...

    You replace your clutch once a year.

    Your sportbike has a cruise control.

    You don't use turn signals in traffic.

    You pin-striped your sportbike.

    You Armor-All(tm) your tires before riding.

    Your bike has more than two mirrors.

    You've ever drained your battery due to Neon overload.

    You buy cheap tires in order to have enough money to buy a new Shoei helmet.

    You sent your wheels off to get chromed.

    You rode fast in a hard rain.

    You removed your mirrors to lower drag and try to increase top speed.

    You have a little air foil spoiler on the rear of your bike.

    You cover your bike in aftermarket parts decals but don't own any of the parts!

    You put additional reflectors on your bike.

    You ever mounted auxiliary driving lights on your front fork.

    You use cheap oil.

    You ever had an accident because you were checking your image in the side view mirrors.

    You don't acknowledge other riders when they wave or nod.

    You use fuel additives or octane boosters in your street bike.

    You ever woke up in the hospital after doing something that you thought would impress people.

    You've ever had to have emergency surgery to remove a aftermarket accessory that you installed on your sportbike.

    Chicks won't ride with you.

    You thread traffic to impress people!

    You run at highway speeds on city streets.

    You admire yourself in shop windows when you ride by on the street.

    You ever had an accident because your bungie net load shifted on you.

    Your tag has a bracket with a humorous message engraved on it.

    You ride around with screwdrivers or other sharp objects in your back pockets.

    Your bike is plastered with aftermarket decal conversion kits. (Troy Lee Designs).

    You walk around the mall in full race leathers.

    When you ride with others, YOU always have to be in front.

    Any of your personal bike experiences are merely products of your imagination.

    You ever repainted your bike an annoying color.

    You really want other riders to like you and your bike.
    R.I.P. Lahela 10/12/1986-08/01/2008

    Want to become a super hero? http://www.donoralliance.org/info-page-1

    "I don't fail I just succeed at finding ways that don't work."
    Chris Titus



    CSC Spelling Bee Champ 2008 and 2009

  3. #3
    Say what again... Site Admin rforsythe's Avatar
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    Re: You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. if...

    Quote Originally Posted by Tipys View Post
    You have a cup holder duct taped to your handlebars.
    What about safety wired? DYSCO??!!!

    You use cheap gas ( 90 octane or weaker).
    Fuck, guess I am a squid then. (We'll just ignore the fact that it makes the bike run better for the moment...)
    Asshole Nazi devil moderator out to get each and every one of you

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    than sincere ignorance
    and conscientious stupidity.
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  4. #4
    Senior Member Mental's Avatar
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    Re: You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. if...

    I actually highsided in my driveway once.

    That was my last actual accident, 1997.

    I just let it go, landed on my feet, and stood there in my driveway, hoping the neighbors didn't see, feeling like an idiot, for about 3 minutes befire I actually turned around and pick the damm thing back up.
    GSXRScott made me follow him into that corner,...down that hill...there was the time up that washout...crankcase alley...man I gotta stop following him.
    Quote Originally Posted by PharmerKyle View Post
    ...I knew all too well what would happen if the old guy on the Beemer took the lead...

  5. #5
    Senior Member Mental's Avatar
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    Re: You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. if...

    Quote Originally Posted by Tipys View Post
    ...Your sportbike has a cruise control...
    Don't be hatin
    GSXRScott made me follow him into that corner,...down that hill...there was the time up that washout...crankcase alley...man I gotta stop following him.
    Quote Originally Posted by PharmerKyle View Post
    ...I knew all too well what would happen if the old guy on the Beemer took the lead...

  6. #6
    Junior Member CatNip's Avatar
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    Re: You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. if...

    [quote]

    Your sportbike has a cruise control.

    You walk around the mall in full race leathers.

    quote]

    Okay I wish I had cruise control....right hand keeps falling asleep!

    And damn I look hot in full race leathers....who cares where I wear it!
    Ha ha...that was long but good!

  7. #7
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    Re: You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. if...

    wow im a super squid...

    thats ggggggggrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttt tt!!!!!




  8. #8
    Senior Member
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    Re: You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. if...

    I hate squids... here some being murdered!
    shoot, most of the funnier pix are gone now.. its grenades blowing up squids!!!

  9. #9
    Senior Member wulf's Avatar
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    Re: You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. if...

    You ever repainted your bike an annoying color.
    Does ford blue on an SV count?
    RIP Sgt. Travis D. Pfister. 79-07 I miss you brother.

  10. #10
    Senior Member highpsi03's Avatar
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    Re: You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. if...

    Great i'm a squid because my mom wont ride on my bike, i have SS brake lines and a Steering Stabilizer.

  11. #11
    Right-Wing Nut-Job DavidofColorado's Avatar
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    Re: You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. if...

    You have the money to buy everything for your bike and preach to others about what they should have too. Don't worry your not a squid, just an asshole.
    "My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government." Thomas Jefferson

  12. #12
    Senior Member jimwallace's Avatar
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    Re: You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. if...

    You don't use an O-ring chain.....damn...i use x ring.
    Your bike has braided hoses and brake lines.........what the hells wrong with steel braided brake lines.
    YOU think that you're cool.....damn ....you got me here
    You consider rolling stops to be perfectly legal....depends on how much of a rush im in.
    Your street bike has a steering dampener......whats wrong with that???? i have one.
    You ever took off so quick that your passenger rolled off the back!......guilty....i wheelied one time with this dumb broad friend of my buddies wife and she slid right off the back and had a seat on the pavement.......(not hurt or anything)
    Quote Originally Posted by salsashark View Post
    and you did it!



    the rest of us were just thinking it.

    http://www.myspace.com/adrenalineaddiction24


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  13. #13
    Senior Member dm_gsxr's Avatar
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    Re: You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. if...

    You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. (Some Quick Unimportant Immature Dumbass) If ...

    You tell anyone you have gone 160 on the street 170 indicated

    You don't use an O-ring chain. EK 530 ZVX X-ring chain

    You ever parked your bike on asphalt on a hot summer day and the kickstand dug into the soft pavement causing your bike to fall over. A long time ago but since it says ever

    You're only riding your CBR600F2 until you get your Harley put back together. I started riding the GSXR750 because the Harley was in the shop. The beginning of the end as I sold the Harley and am now riding the Hayabusa

    You thought about putting a sidecar on your GSX-R. Yep. They have sidecars for the Hayabusa

    Only you know what your personalized tag means. I had one in Virginia: FOAD. Do you know what it means?

    You stand up on your pegs while riding. When doing 800-1000 mile days, standing really helps.

    Your bike has braided hoses and brake lines. Well braided front and rear brake lines and braided clutch.

    Your street bike is safety wired. The SV is only a street bike until I get it to the track

    You have colored bar end weights, hand grips, or engine case bolts. Red grips when I put the heating elements on the bars

    Your street bike has a steering dampener. The Hayabusa comes with one

    You ever let someone patch your performance radial tire with a plug. I've plugged my own SportTec's, close enough?

    Your rear tire is bald in the center but still has lots of tread on each side. Only when touring really.

    You use cheap gas ( 90 octane or weaker). Bike only calls for 87 octane so I use 85 here in high country

    Your sportbike has a cruise control. I use a 7/8" o-ring as a pseudo cruise control

    Your bike has more than two mirrors. I have two small fisheye's on my current mirrors

    You rode fast in a hard rain. Yea but I don't corner fast

    You use cheap oil. Yep, as long as it's SJ+ and not Energy Conserving, I have no problem using cheap oil

    You admire yourself in shop windows when you ride by on the street. Doesn't everyone?

    So I guess I'm a S.Q.U.I.D.

    Carl

    Long Distance Gear Checklist 2002 Hayabusa - Now with 100,000+ miles!

  14. #14
    Gold Member salsashark's Avatar
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    Re: You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. if...

    Whoever wrote this list could have saved themselves a lot of time and simply made a list of what a "real" biker is...
    Do not put off living the life you dream of. Next year may never come. If we are always waiting for something to change...
    Retirement, the kids to leave home, the weather or the economy, that's not living. That's waiting!
    Waiting will only leaves us with unrealized dreams and empty wishes.

  15. #15
    Senior Member jimwallace's Avatar
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    Re: You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. if...

    actually i have thought about putting a side car on too.......i have two kids and dont get to ride nearly enough.......so yeah i thought about it.
    Quote Originally Posted by salsashark View Post
    and you did it!



    the rest of us were just thinking it.

    http://www.myspace.com/adrenalineaddiction24


    01 zx9r
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  16. #16
    Senior Member Snowman's Avatar
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    Re: You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. if...

    I few more for your list I have noticed in the past…

    You have more LED lights reflecting off your motor than you do turn signals.

    You remove the rear foot pegs and rear seat off your brand new R1, and expect to pick up chics.

    You think that mounting your license plate on the inside of your rear swing arm is legal.

    You reduced the weight of your bike by drilling holes into the frame.

    You blame the manufacture for missing the off ramp and high siding into the median.

    Your shoe laces have ever got caught in your chain at speed.

    MRA Racer No.427

  17. #17
    Senior Member ChrisCBX's Avatar
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    Re: You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. if...

    Quote Originally Posted by dm_gsxr View Post
    You thought about putting a sidecar on your GSX-R. Yep. They have sidecars for the Hayabusa
    Saw a few at the Isle of Man.........



    My favorite "you might be a squid" line from another list...............

    "You trade your sport bike in for a jet ski".

  18. #18
    Senior Member jimwallace's Avatar
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    Re: You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. if...

    You walk around the mall in full race leathers.


    apparently you cant walk around the mall naked.......thats the last time im going commando in my race suit
    Quote Originally Posted by salsashark View Post
    and you did it!



    the rest of us were just thinking it.

    http://www.myspace.com/adrenalineaddiction24


    01 zx9r
    99 r6 (race bike)

  19. #19
    Gold Member MetaLord 9's Avatar
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    Re: You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. if...

    if you've pulled your headlight switch so you don't get caught speeding at night and then hit ANYTHING
    if you wear your helmet w/the chinbar above the eyebrows when you're not on the bike
    if you've ever taken your bike to the shop b/c the gas tank was hissing in the summer
    if you think a sagging chain is ok and evidence of riding hard
    If you've ever wheelied into the back of another vehicle (sorry SR )
    If you pronounce ever letter of GSX-R and the dash in public
    If you've ever prepared to do a stunt by using the phrase "here, hold my beer"
    If you've ever tried to increase horsepower by looking for or buying a "muzzy clutch"
    if you belive that # of helmet mohawks = degree of coolness/greatness of a rider
    [SIGPIC][SIGPIC]

  20. #20
    Gold Member salsashark's Avatar
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    Re: You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. if...

    Quote Originally Posted by MetaLord 9 View Post
    if you've ever taken your bike to the shop b/c the gas tank was hissing in the summer
    Ahhh yes, Kawi engineering!
    Do not put off living the life you dream of. Next year may never come. If we are always waiting for something to change...
    Retirement, the kids to leave home, the weather or the economy, that's not living. That's waiting!
    Waiting will only leaves us with unrealized dreams and empty wishes.

  21. #21
    Gold Member MetaLord 9's Avatar
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    Re: You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. if...

    they see me hiss'n, they hate'n
    [SIGPIC][SIGPIC]

  22. #22
    Senior Member Lifetime Supporter Shea's Avatar
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    Re: You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. if...

    Quote Originally Posted by MetaLord 9 View Post
    if you belive that # of helmet mohawks = degree of coolness/greatness of a rider
    lol, saw two of those guys riding by Parker and 225 yesterday. Where can I get a mohawk for mah lid?
    Shea
    Now bikeless...

    Quote Originally Posted by Snowman View Post
    THERE IS NO TIME FOR RATIONAL SOLUTIONS!
    WE HAVE TO TAKE DRASTIC IRRATIONAL MEASURES NOW!
    LIVES ARE IN DANGER!

  23. #23
    Gold Member Yearly Supporter Sully's Avatar
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    Re: You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. if...

    Uhm.. ask Devils Tonic, I think she knows However, if you do get one for yah lid, I won't be riding with you.. SQUID!
    Glitter Factory Racing
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  24. #24
    Senior Member Lifetime Supporter Shea's Avatar
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    Re: You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D. if...

    Quote Originally Posted by Sully View Post
    Uhm.. ask Devils Tonic, I think she knows However, if you do get one for yah lid, I won't be riding with you.. SQUID!
    We both know that you're the biggest squid here Sully.
    Shea
    Now bikeless...

    Quote Originally Posted by Snowman View Post
    THERE IS NO TIME FOR RATIONAL SOLUTIONS!
    WE HAVE TO TAKE DRASTIC IRRATIONAL MEASURES NOW!
    LIVES ARE IN DANGER!

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