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Thread: Happy Thanksgiving‏

  1. #1
    Geriatric Curmudgeon Lifetime Supporter Nick_Ninja's Avatar
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    Happy Thanksgiving‏

    A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a young boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm.

    He stopped and asked the boy, 'Where did you get that turkey?'

    The boy replied, 'What turkey?'

    The game warden said, 'That turkey you're carrying under your arm.'

    The boy looks down and said, 'Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted
    under my arm!'

    The game warden said, 'Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so
    whatever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do to you.

    If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If you break his wing,
    I'll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you. So, what are
    you gonna do with him?'

    The little boy said, 'I guess I'll just kiss his ass and let him go!'


    May your stuffing be tasty
    May your turkey plump,
    May your potatoes and gravy
    Have never a lump.
    May your yams be delicious
    And your pies take the prize,
    And may your Thanksgiving dinner
    Stay off your thighs!

    HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL OF YOU!!!!!
    "Its all about the motorbikes, always has been and always will be.". ~~ Ewan McGregor 2007

    "It's hard to play the blues when nuthin's really wrong."~~ ---- Joe Walsh 2012

    I.B.A. # 14748 124@X - YRMV

  2. #2
    Senior Member Lifetime Supporter 64BonnieLass's Avatar
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    Re: Happy Thanksgiving‏

    See?! You are just a big teddy bear deep down aren't ya Jeff? Awww how swee...Whoops, it's in the jokes section. Nevermind.
    "Keep that "what if" thought in the back of your mind; it's the angel on your shoulder balancing the devil in your right hand."

    "There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart...pursue those."

    2005 SV650S Street

  3. #3
    Douche Yearly Supporter Sortarican's Avatar
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    Re: Happy Thanksgiving‏

    That joke was a turkey....

    I mean really fowl.....

    Though it did give me some food for thought.....

    So I guess anything more is just gravy.



    (OK, I'll stop now.)
    Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls would scarcely get your feet wet.

  4. #4
    Pandora-11
    Guest

    Re: Happy Thanksgiving‏

    Husband and wife grilling out in the backyard. Husband says to wife, "Honey, your butt is getting really big. In fact it's getting so big that I bet it's bigger than this barbecue. Hey...here's a tape measure...let's measure."
    Husband measures and finds out that indeed the butt is bigger than the barbecue and says so. Later that evening in bed when husband is feeling a little frisky, wife turns her back to him. "What's the matter honey?" he asks.
    Wife says, "What? Fire up this big ole barbecue butt for one little weenie?"

  5. #5
    Pandora-11
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    Re: Happy Thanksgiving‏

    I'm bumping this because...hey...I thought that was a really good joke.

  6. #6
    Chief Viffer Lifetime Supporter dirkterrell's Avatar
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    Re: Happy Thanksgiving‏

    Quote Originally Posted by Pandora-11 View Post
    I'm bumping this because...hey...I thought that was a really good joke.
    Joke?!?!?! Does anyone have the slightest doubt that the boy in this story was none other than Jeff himself?

    Dirk
    Formerly MRA #211 - High Precision Racing

    "A strict observance of the written laws is doubtless one of the high duties of a good citizen, but it is not the highest. The laws of necessity, of self- preservation, of saving our country when in danger, are of higher obligation. To lose our country by a scrupulous adherence to written law would be to lose the law itself, with life, liberty, property, and all those who are enjoying them with us; thus absurdly sacrificing the end to the means."

    --Thomas Jefferson



  7. #7
    Pandora-11
    Guest

    Re: Happy Thanksgiving‏

    Quote Originally Posted by dirkterrell View Post
    Joke?!?!?! Does anyone have the slightest doubt that the boy in this story was none other than Jeff himself?

    Dirk
    Hey...I was talking about MY joke.....

  8. #8
    Geriatric Curmudgeon Lifetime Supporter Nick_Ninja's Avatar
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    Re: Happy Thanksgiving‏

    Quote Originally Posted by Pandora-11 View Post
    Hey...I was talking about MY joke.....
    It's not nice to talk about yourself
    "Its all about the motorbikes, always has been and always will be.". ~~ Ewan McGregor 2007

    "It's hard to play the blues when nuthin's really wrong."~~ ---- Joe Walsh 2012

    I.B.A. # 14748 124@X - YRMV

  9. #9
    Pandora-11
    Guest

    Re: Happy Thanksgiving‏

    Quote Originally Posted by Nick_Ninja View Post
    It's not nice to talk about yourself

    You're SOOOOO cute!

  10. #10
    Geriatric Curmudgeon Lifetime Supporter Nick_Ninja's Avatar
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    Re: Happy Thanksgiving‏

    John received a parrot as an early Christmas gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse
    vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.

    John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing
    soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was
    fed up, and he yelled at the parrot…….the parrot yelled back.

    John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his
    hands, grabbed the bird and shoved him in the freezer.

    For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total
    silence. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

    Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.

    The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said “I believe I may have offended
    you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions
    and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”

    John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had
    made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued....
    ........“May I inquire as to what the turkey did?”

    HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL………
    "Its all about the motorbikes, always has been and always will be.". ~~ Ewan McGregor 2007

    "It's hard to play the blues when nuthin's really wrong."~~ ---- Joe Walsh 2012

    I.B.A. # 14748 124@X - YRMV

  11. #11
    Senior Member Lifetime Supporter 64BonnieLass's Avatar
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    Re: Happy Thanksgiving‏

    I just choked on my M&M's. Pretty funny!
    "Keep that "what if" thought in the back of your mind; it's the angel on your shoulder balancing the devil in your right hand."

    "There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart...pursue those."

    2005 SV650S Street

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