An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says, "I will give you three wishes." The man thinks awhile. Finally he says, "I want a beer that never is empty."
With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes.
The man says, "I want two more of these."
Do not put off living the life you dream of. Next year may never come. If we are always waiting for something to change...
Retirement, the kids to leave home, the weather or the economy, that's not living. That's waiting!
Waiting will only leaves us with unrealized dreams and empty wishes.
An Irish poem:
May there always be work for your hands to do;
May your purse always hold a coin or two;
May the sun always shine on your windowpane;
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;
May the hand of a friend always be near you;
May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
"Its all about the motorbikes, always has been and always will be.". ~~ Ewan McGregor 2007
"It's hard to play the blues when nuthin's really wrong."~~ ---- Joe Walsh 2012
I.B.A. # 14748 124@X - YRMV
First rule of the internet: *bleep* you and everything you stand for. Second rule of the internet: FKZOR U AND RRYTHING U STND FR!
Dana wins
[SIGPIC][SIGPIC]
~Brandon~
Aprilia RSV 1000 R Factory - "Gemma"
MV Agusta F3 800 - "Amy Lou"
Rattan Fat Bear Plus - "Lynda"
(720) 935-6438
I rarely think of motorcycles without a little yearning. They are about moving, and humans, I think, yearn to move – it’s in our cells, in our desires. We quiet our babies with cyclic movement, and we quiet ourselves by going.
Melissa Holbrook Pierson
Last edited by dirkterrell; Tue Mar 17th, 2009 at 09:26 AM.
Formerly MRA #211 - High Precision Racing
"A strict observance of the written laws is doubtless one of the high duties of a good citizen, but it is not the highest. The laws of necessity, of self- preservation, of saving our country when in danger, are of higher obligation. To lose our country by a scrupulous adherence to written law would be to lose the law itself, with life, liberty, property, and all those who are enjoying them with us; thus absurdly sacrificing the end to the means."
--Thomas Jefferson
I like the way you guys think.
Now who is gonna kiss me Blarney Stone!!!
First rule of the internet: *bleep* you and everything you stand for. Second rule of the internet: FKZOR U AND RRYTHING U STND FR!
Dammit, I can't see Dirk's post!
Last edited by ~Barn~; Tue Mar 17th, 2009 at 09:52 AM.
~Brandon~
Aprilia RSV 1000 R Factory - "Gemma"
MV Agusta F3 800 - "Amy Lou"
Rattan Fat Bear Plus - "Lynda"
I rarely think of motorcycles without a little yearning. They are about moving, and humans, I think, yearn to move – it’s in our cells, in our desires. We quiet our babies with cyclic movement, and we quiet ourselves by going.
Melissa Holbrook Pierson
Damn I love this site!
Toasts
Here's to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one.
A pretty girl and an honest one.
A cold pint-- and another one!
Here's to being single...
Drinking doubles...
And seeing triple!
Here's to women's kisses,
and to whiskey, amber clear;
Not as sweet as a woman's kiss,
but a darn sight more sincere!
(This one's Scottish, but still good)
Here to you, as good as you are,
And here is to me, as bad as I am;
As bad as I am, as good as you are,
I am good as you are as bad as I am
[SIGPIC][SIGPIC]
I'd be pleased if someone called me Dirac.Originally Posted by ~Barn~
Dammit, I can't see Dirak's post!
Try it now Barn.
Dirk
Formerly MRA #211 - High Precision Racing
"A strict observance of the written laws is doubtless one of the high duties of a good citizen, but it is not the highest. The laws of necessity, of self- preservation, of saving our country when in danger, are of higher obligation. To lose our country by a scrupulous adherence to written law would be to lose the law itself, with life, liberty, property, and all those who are enjoying them with us; thus absurdly sacrificing the end to the means."
--Thomas Jefferson
I am Irish........by insertion.
First rule of the internet: *bleep* you and everything you stand for. Second rule of the internet: FKZOR U AND RRYTHING U STND FR!
An Irishman goes to confession in St. Patrick's Catholic Church. 'Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I had relations with
Nookie Green twice last month.'
The priest tells the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's.'
Soon after, another Irishman enters the confessional. 'Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I've had relations with Nookie Green twice a week for the last two months.'
This time the priest questions, 'Who is Nookie Green?'
'A new woman in the neighborhood,' the sinner replies.
'Very well,' the priest sighs.. 'Go and say ten Hail Mary's.'
At Mass the next morning, as the priest prepares to deliver his sermon, a tall, voluptuous, drop dead gorgeous redhead woman enters the sanctuary. The eyes of every man in the church fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down right in front of the priest. Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes. The priest and altar boy gasp, as the woman in the matching green shoes and dress sits with her legs slightly spread apart.
The priest turns to the altar boy and whispers, 'Is that Nookie Green?'
The bug-eyed altar boy can't believe his ears but replies, 'No, I think it's just the reflection off her shoes!"
Glitter Factory Racing
MRA #415
Sol Performance - Pirelli Tires
Two Irishmen were walking home after a night on the beer when a severed head rolled along the ground. Mick picked it up to his face and said to Paddy "Jez, that look like Sean" to which Paddy replied "No Sean was taller than that"
"Its all about the motorbikes, always has been and always will be.". ~~ Ewan McGregor 2007
"It's hard to play the blues when nuthin's really wrong."~~ ---- Joe Walsh 2012
I.B.A. # 14748 124@X - YRMV
It was Paddy and Seamus giving the motorcycle a ride on a brisk autumn day. After a wee bit, Paddy who was sitt'n behind Seamus on the bike began to holler ..."Seamus ... Seamus ... the wind is cutt'n me chest out!" "Well, Paddy my lad," said Seamus, "why don't you take your jacket off and turn it from front to back ... that'll block the wind for you." So Paddy took Seamus' advice and turned his jacket from front to back and got back on the bike and the two of them were off down the road again. After a bit, Seamus turned to talk to Paddy and was horrified to see that Paddy was not there. Seamus immediately turned the bike around and retraced their route. When after a short time he came to a turn and saw a bunch of farmers standing around Paddy who was sitting on the ground. "T'anks be to heaven, is he alright?" Seamus hailed to the farmers. "Well," said one of the farmers, " he was alright when we found him here .. but since we turned his head back to front .. he hasn't said a word since!"
"Its all about the motorbikes, always has been and always will be.". ~~ Ewan McGregor 2007
"It's hard to play the blues when nuthin's really wrong."~~ ---- Joe Walsh 2012
I.B.A. # 14748 124@X - YRMV
Sorry Borat, the (earlier) name calling was purely unintentional. And yup... I can see your Irish lovely, now.I'd be pleased if someone called me Dirac.
Try it now Barn.
Dirk
~Brandon~
Aprilia RSV 1000 R Factory - "Gemma"
MV Agusta F3 800 - "Amy Lou"
Rattan Fat Bear Plus - "Lynda"
I rarely think of motorcycles without a little yearning. They are about moving, and humans, I think, yearn to move – it’s in our cells, in our desires. We quiet our babies with cyclic movement, and we quiet ourselves by going.
Melissa Holbrook Pierson
~Brandon~
Aprilia RSV 1000 R Factory - "Gemma"
MV Agusta F3 800 - "Amy Lou"
Rattan Fat Bear Plus - "Lynda"
I rarely think of motorcycles without a little yearning. They are about moving, and humans, I think, yearn to move – it’s in our cells, in our desires. We quiet our babies with cyclic movement, and we quiet ourselves by going.
Melissa Holbrook Pierson
The Night Pat Murphy Died <-- one of my favorite pub songs
Do not put off living the life you dream of. Next year may never come. If we are always waiting for something to change...
Retirement, the kids to leave home, the weather or the economy, that's not living. That's waiting!
Waiting will only leaves us with unrealized dreams and empty wishes.
An Englishman, Scotsman, and an Irishman all get together for a pint. Miraculously, a three flies land, one in each of their beers.
Disgusted, the English gent pushes away the pint and orders a new one.
The Scotsman looks and ponders for a bit, "Aye... more protein in the pour!" claims the Scotsman as he knock it back... fly and all.
The Irishman. staring quite intently looks at the pint for a long time pondering his current situation. Finally, he reaches in, grabs the fly by the wings and starts shaking it while screaming, "SPIT IT OUT YA GREEDY LITTLE BASTARD!!!"
Do not put off living the life you dream of. Next year may never come. If we are always waiting for something to change...
Retirement, the kids to leave home, the weather or the economy, that's not living. That's waiting!
Waiting will only leaves us with unrealized dreams and empty wishes.
ok funny guys. enough jokes. Make with the hot Irish ladies!!
First rule of the internet: *bleep* you and everything you stand for. Second rule of the internet: FKZOR U AND RRYTHING U STND FR!
REDHEADS FTMFW!!!
[SIGPIC][SIGPIC]
An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, "what'll you have?"
The man says, "Give me three pints of Guinness please."
So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more.
The bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold. You don't have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I'll bring you a fresh cold one."
The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we're drinking together.
The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition.
Every week the man came in and ordered three beers. Then one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then ordered two more.
The bartender said to him, "I know what your tradition is, and I'd just like to say that I'm sorry that one of your brothers died."
The man said, "Oh, me brothers are fine----I just quit drinking."
Bob <------ Asshole Nazi devil moderator out to get each and every one of you
- 2002 Yamaha R1 (92K+ miles... bought new) ---------------------------------------->
- 2015 Yamaha Bolt C-Spec (Cafe Racer)
- 2004 Yamaha R6 (racebike)
- 2006 Yamaha R1 (racebike)R.I.P. 502 ~ Everything works out in the end. If it hasn't worked out, it isn't the end.
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