The truth about Adam & Eve

Moses' account of the creation in the book of Genesis is so familiar,
and so entrenched in our cultural heritage, that many accept as actual
historic fact the assertion that Woman was created from one of Adam's
ribs. Science has railed against such simple beliefs for centuries.

Last week, at a dig in the escarpments along the western shore of the
Dead Sea, archeologists have uncovered ancient, original texts that
pre-date Moses' writings by 1,300 years. Translated, their account of
life's beginnings on earth are much more scientifically plausible ...

"... and God created Woman, giving her three breasts to succor her
young. And God spoke, saying to her, "I have created thee as I see fit,
but mine is no longer the only opinion in the universe (sigh). Is there
anything about thee that thou would prefer differently?"

And Woman spoke, saying, "Lord, I am not made to birth whole litters; I
do not need but two breasts."

And God said, "Thou speaketh wisely, as I have created thee with
wisdom."

There was a crack and a lingering odor of ozone, and it was done, and
Woman stood holding her third breast in her hand. "Now just what am I
going do with this useless boob?" Woman exclaimed.

And so it was, God created Man."