Snagged from another site
1. You refine Heroin for a living but you have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3000 machine gun and a $5000 rocket launcher but can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand but consider bacon "unclean."
5. You think vests come in two styles: bulletproof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous but you routinely walk around with explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You cherish women and think that every man should own at least one.
10. You have always had a crush on your neighbor's goat
