More email's from my father in-law

[grim]

I forgot to be offended by any of this. Maybe I need to peel back a few hundred layers of thick skin so that I can be offended too . . .

But, I do want free beer! The only thing better than free beer is free cold beer!

Since someone has to be kicked off the beer list for being underage ghostrider_9 if you offend someone you will rightfully take their place!

[Spooph]

ah! I now understand the rules of engagement! In that case I will let my being offended perpetuate my offensiveness and continue with the humor....

[ghostrider_9]

Since someone has to be kicked off the beer list for being underage ghostrider_9 if you offend someone you will rightfully take their place!

I know I surely offended the woman that was going 60 in the fast lane while texting when I pulled up next to her and made a number of hand gestures . . . does that count?

[bornwildnfree]

Oh, do I get free rum if I offend someone every time I start a thread?

[King Nothing]

When do I get beer?

[TinkerinWstuff]

We're gonna need a keg

on with the offensive jokes.

Q: Why don't women fart?

A: Don't keep their mouths closed long enough to build up back-pressure



Man walks up to the pharmacy and asks for condoms with pesticide

Pharmacist says, "you mean spermicide"

Man says, "nope, definitely require pesticide. The ol' lady has a bug up her ass and I'm going in after it."

[grim]

We're gonna need a keg

on with the offensive jokes.

Q: Why don't women fart?

A: Don't keep their mouths closed long enough to build up back-pressure



Man walks up to the pharmacy and asks for condoms with pesticide

Pharmacist says, "you mean spermicide"

Man says, "nope, definitely require pesticide. The ol' lady has a bug up her ass and I'm going in after it."

BAAHAHAHHA DUDE THATS FUNNY I WAS ON THE PHONE TRYING TO PAY A BILL AND I BUSTED OUT LAUGHING

[grim]

When do I get beer?

When you offend someone!

[grim]

I know I surely offended the woman that was going 60 in the fast lane while texting when I pulled up next to her and made a number of hand gestures . . . does that count?

if one of the gestures was a then your golden my son free beer for you!

[Mother Goose]

Oh, do I get free rum if I offend someone every time I start a thread?

What part of beer don't you understand?

[grim]

What part of beer don't you understand?

thanks for pointing that out!

[laspariahs]

pretty sure the guy w/ the sig line you are speaking about is also a cop...talk about irony.

How is that ironic? Seems about right.

[Survivalism]

Youll have to pass my free beer along to someone else unfortunately, i still have some months left

Thanks for the offer though!

[TinkerinWstuff]

When do I get beer?

When you offend someone!

I think he may have meant, "when's this beer party hap'nin?"

[bendavis]

I'll gladly ride down to meet you guys, all I'm privy to up here is Dave, Joel, and I just met GLOCKMAN a couple weeks ago... (even though he has lived 1 house away for God knows how long...) oh. and Greg... miss that guy. Too bad he never got to ride with me on one of the bikes that doesn't break down every ride.

[grim]

Youll have to pass my free beer along to someone else unfortunately, i still have some months left

Thanks for the offer though!

Well because your are obviously responsible I will reserve your free beer until you are able to have one!

[grim]

I think he may have meant, "when's this beer party hap'nin?"

well we have to establish a good time for everyone to meet at a pub that has ample parking for motorcycles I will start a thread to set it up so be on the lookout for it!

[grim]

MY TURN BITCHES!!!!


ARABS

Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide. Let's have a look at the evidence: No Christmas?- No television?- No nude women?- No football?- No pork chops?- No hotdogs?- No burgers?- No beer?- No bacon?- Rags for clothes?- Towels for hats?- Constant wailing from some idiot in a tower?- More than one wife?- More than one mother-in-law?- You can't shave?- Your wife can't shave?- You can't wash off the smell of donkey?- You wipe your ass with your hand?- You cook over burning camel shit?- Your wife is picked by someone else?- Your wife smells worse than your donkey ?? Then they tell you that "when you die, it all gets better"?? No shit Sherlock!..... ?....It's not like it could get much worse!

[Spooph]

lol, win!

[OUTLAWD]

Women's rights

[Survivalism]

MY TURN BITCHES!!!!


ARABS

Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide. Let's have a look at the evidence: No Christmas?- No television?- No nude women?- No football?- No pork chops?- No hotdogs?- No burgers?- No beer?- No bacon?- Rags for clothes?- Towels for hats?- Constant wailing from some idiot in a tower?- More than one wife?- More than one mother-in-law?- You can't shave?- Your wife can't shave?- You can't wash off the smell of donkey?- You wipe your ass with your hand?- You cook over burning camel shit?- Your wife is picked by someone else?- Your wife smells worse than your donkey ?? Then they tell you that "when you die, it all gets better"?? No shit Sherlock!..... ?....It's not like it could get much worse!

Ahaha!! Thats great!!

Oh and if i remember i will definitely throw you a pm for that beer when i am eligible, thanks again!

[PunyJuney]

I don't like beer, but I'll go....this should cover everyone.

Politically Incorrect

At the Senior Citizens Center they had a quiz the other day. I lost
by one point. The question was where do women mostly have curly hair?
Apparently, the correct answer was Africa .

One of the other questions was to name two things commonly found in
cells. It appears that Negroes and Mexicans is not the correct answer
either.

I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's
iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.

My wife told me I was no longer romantic, so I booked a table for the
two of us on Valentine's Night. Wouldn't you know it! She sucks at
snooker & eight-ball too!

There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center, but
I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets.

You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles, but at least they
drive slowly past schools.

A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his
girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He
said, "Her brother's got a mustache."

Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche & mentioned it on
Facebook. I said, "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" Next thing
I know, 4000 f.....g Muslims have added me as a friend!

Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I
said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in
my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn,
you sick bastard”

The FBI has discovered how to weave Muslim prayer mats out of plastic
explosives. Apparently prophets are going through the roof!

The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we could help
with the floods in Pakistan . I said we would love to, but our garden
hose only reaches to the end of our driveway.

[birchyboy]

^^ so wrong but so funny!

[Cat118!]

Because other than being smart, we know very little of the species.... I know that they are efficient, very well mannered, and more often than not, very quiet, non-intrusive, and very respectful.

hmmmmm apparently you haven't gotten to know the fellow Asians of the CSC...LOL

Wait!! I mean... I am totally offended you think we are quiet and non-intrusive!!!

Gimme ma beer now