must efficient way to turn gas into noise

[Jesterbass21]

Like many other things this little joke fire was fueled by some good clean facebook fun........ Have fun with it.


Did you know 95% of all Harleys are still on the road?
The other 5% actually made it home.


Is it true that Harleys are chick magnets?
Yes, but only if the chick has a steel plate in her head.


What's the cheapest way to get another 50hp from your Harley?
Trade it in on a Suzuki.


Why don't Harley riders sit on their bikes when the side stand is down?
They're afraid to lean over that far.


What's the difference between a Harley and a Harley owner's home?
The Harley costs more and has fewer wheels.


How do you know you're riding a Harley?
While coming off an exit-ramp you get passed by a Vespa.


Why don't Harley riders wave at sportbike riders?
Because they don't want to drop their tools.


How do you know all the aftermarket parts you bought for your Harley are worth the money?
You finally break into the 15's in the quarter mile!!!


What do you call a group of Harley Owners with a collective IQ of 120?
Sturgis!

How do Harley engineers tell if a bike is worthy of the Harley name?
They check to make sure the exhaust noise in decibels exceeds the horsepower rating.


Why don't Harley owners smile?
Once you realized you got conned into paying $25,000 for an outdated piece
of $#!+, would YOU be smiling?


What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a vacuum cleaner?
The location of the dirtbags.


Why do Harleys have fringe?
So you can tell if they're moving.


How is a Harley Davidson like an old dog?
They both like to ride in the back of pickup trucks.


How do you know your Harley is handling great?
You can almost keep up with the logging trucks when you're riding in the canyons.


What is the difference between a Harley Davidson and an old dog?
The dog can get in the back of the pickup by itself.


Why couldn't the Harley mechanic repair the doorknob?
Some things just can't be fixed with only a hammer and a rope.


What's the difference between a Harley taken to Daytona on a trailer and one that's being ridden there?
The one on the trailer is going about 30mph faster.


Why do all Harley owners have trailers??
So they can go around corners faster!


Where can you find the world's largest collection of Harley jokes?
On the showroom of the Harley mega-store in Milwaukee.
(Alternate answer: At Sturgis)


You know you're a Harley rider if:
You're unable to let your bike simply IDLE at a stop light.


You confuse the word "character" with the more accurate term "engineering flaws".


"Water cooled" means standing on the side of the road, in the rain, waiting for a wrecker.


And the biggest (or at least the most expensive) Harley joke of all time: The Harley-Davidson VR-1000 superbike racer.

[Wrider]

Lmao those are pretty good. Gonna have to tell those to some of my buddies, I'll share their metric jokes as soon as they stop laughing hard enough to tell them!

[mdub]

Good ones. Oh btw did you sell some fords to those guys???

[mathman1000]

YES!! Oh, the ego that goes with those bikes.......and bandanas, and tassels, and chrome, and leather.......

[RajunCajun]

haha!

[Jesterbass21]

I raced a Harley today and after some really hard riding I managed
to PASS the guy. I was riding on one of those really, really
twisting sections of mountain road with no straight sections to
speak of and where most of the bends have warning signs that
say "MAX SPEED 50 KPH".

I knew if I was going to pass one of those monsters with those
big-cubic-inch motors, it would have to be a place like this where
handling and rider skill are more important than horsepower alone.

I saw the guy up ahead as I exited one of the turns and knew I could
catch him, but it wouldn't be easy. I concentrated on my braking and
cornering. Three corners later, I was on his mudguard. Catching him
was one thing; passing him would prove to be another.

Two corners later, I pulled up next to him as we sailed down the
mountain. I think he was shocked to see me next to him, as I nearly
got by him before he could recover. Next corner, same thing. I'd
manage to pull up next to him as we started to enter the corners but
when we came out he'd get on the throttle and out-power me. His
horsepower was almost too much to overcome, but this only made me
more determined than ever.

My only hope was to out-brake him. I held off squeezing the lever
until the last instant. I kept my nerve while he lost his. In an
instant I was by him. Corner after corner, I could hear the roar of
his engine as he struggled to keep up. Three more miles to go before
the road straightens out and he would pass me for good.

But now I was in the lead and he would no longer hold me back. I
stretched out my lead and by the time we reached the bottom of the
canyon, he was more than a full corner behind. I could no longer see
him in my rear-view mirror.

Once the road did straighten out, it seemed like it took miles
before he passed me, but it was probably just a few hundred yards. I
was no match for that kind of horsepower, but it was done. In the
tightest section of road, where bravery and skill count for more
than horsepower and deep pockets, I had passed him. Though it was
not easy, I had won the race to the bottom of the mountain and I had
preserved the proud tradition of one of the best bits of Brit iron.

I will always remember that moment. I don't think I've ever pedaled
so hard in my life. And, some of the credit must go to Raleigh
cycles, as well. They really make a great bicycle...

[Jesterbass21]

Words to live by...

On a farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together.

One day, the two were playing when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink.

Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm.

Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor.

Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him.

After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the bike, rescued the horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.

The friendship between the two animals was cemented: best buddies, best pals. A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!

The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle.

Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his cock and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story? (Yes, there's a moral): "When you're hung like a horse, you don't need a Harley to pick up chicks."