10 reasons not to date a stripper

[mdub]

Pretty slow here at the Death Star found this amusing.



1. STDs

That's right, our old friend the venereal disease. Do you like to piss fire? Get excited when white secretion flows out of your ass? Enjoy having objects inserted into the head of your penis? If you answered yes to these three questions, then a stripper is the girl for you.

2. Strippers are for fun, not relationships

You don't take the cow home from the steakhouse, why would you take a stripper home from the strip club? "Because I was drunk" is the only acceptable answer. Sober up, tell her to take out the garbage, and lock the door behind her.

3. No one wants other guys touching their boobs

F*cking a stripper is like buying a used condom. It is unhygienic, dirty, and if your friends find out you did it, they will never let you have a sip of their Mountain Dew again. Did I mention it's dirty?

4. Strippers are not responsible

Ever seen a rich stripper? Of course not. Even though they make $1,000+ a night, they always seem to need more money. What happens to all that money, you ask? Like the Tootsie Pop question, the world may never know . . .
However, if you said cocaine that is as good a guess as any.

5. Your mom will not be proud

No woman wants to see her son dating a stripper. Go tell your mom you love her and you will never date a stripper. Nothing could make her happier.

6. Issues, issues, issues

Strippers carry more baggage than a 747 headed out of Havana two days before the Marines show up. You like having three little rugrats running around that aren't yours? If you think that's bad, just wait till you meet the five guys who have been pegged as the baby's daddies?

7. Jerry Springer

The single worst show in the world. Ever dream of being a contestant on "Who slept with my girlfriend this week?" Go find yourself a girl who calls herself "Delicious" and your tickets will be paid for.

8. Strippers are stupid

Most strippers didn't finish high school, hence the job showing boobies. A lot of girls will try to fool you with the whole "I'm just working my way through college" thing. Don't be fooled. "College" in stripper terminology means "the next 8-ball of cocaine."

9. It is always nice to be able to say your girl isn't a whore

There are plenty of girls out there who won't show just any random guy their birthday suit for a dollar bill and a smile. Find one of those girls. Save yourself from a life of sharing your woman with every other dude who happens to have a dollar bill.


10. She is a ****in alcholic and druggie

Its not hard to find a decent girl

[Ezzzzy1]

Blablabla.... No one listen to this nonsense! EVERYONE should bang out a stripper for a month at least once in their life

One for the positive side:

Their cars are usually nicer than yours!

[Ghosty]

Its not hard to find a decent girl

I beg to differ, have you seen what's out there? Ugh.

Slim pickin's man...

[CaptGoodvibes]

If a gal is in my age group, single, and good looking, odds are 99/100 she's bat-shit crazy.

[CaneZach]

First off, ALL women are crazy. The difference between cute girl A and cute girl B is the degree of craziness. Some are drama queens, some are trap-setters, some are still working through the same issues they've had for years, some are just downright fucking nuts, but in the end ALL of them are crazy. Your mission is to find the one who is either the least crazy, has some incredible tits or an ass that won't quit, or has some other endearing quality that allows you to tolerate the craziness, cuz deaf mute billionaire supermodels don't come around every day. Did I mention ALL women are crazy?

On the subject of strippers, the difference between them and the good girls is like the difference between my racebike and my streetbike; one is for being practical, sensible, and relatively cautious. The other takes as much of my money as she can but lets me throw her around all day long. Strippers are fun, but never confuse any of them for wife material. If all women are crazy, strippers have some of the biggest issues I've ever seen, and I mean EVER!

[50sGrl]

First off, ALL women are crazy. The difference between cute girl A and cute girl B is the degree of craziness. Some are drama queens, some are trap-setters, some are still working through the same issues they've had for years, some are just downright fucking nuts, but in the end ALL of them are crazy. Your mission is to find the one who is either the least crazy, has some incredible tits or an ass that won't quit, or has some other endearing quality that allows you to tolerate the craziness, cuz deaf mute billionaire supermodels don't come around every day. Did I mention ALL women are crazy?

Bitter much?

[Samko]

ex wife stats
#4
#6
#7
#8 was cheerleader in HS still didn't graduate
#10 !!! V+V vicodin and vodka

[mdub]

i'm still getting one for parties

[Bueller]

First off, ALL women are crazy. The difference between cute girl A and cute girl B is the degree of craziness. Some are drama queens, some are trap-setters, some are still working through the same issues they've had for years, some are just downright fucking nuts, but in the end ALL of them are crazy.

Not every last one is nucking futz, I finally found a normal one. Take heart my friend, there is hope.

[Nick_Ninja]

Bitches --- ALL OF UM!!!

[Samko]

Bitches --- ALL OF UM!!!

wow hahahah

can't say all of them hahaha

but I wouldn't mind dating a stripper, she would always have change for a $20

[CaneZach]

Bitter much?

Not at all. I've just been around a time or two.

[stubbicatt]

Looking back over my life, I wish I had listened more and talked less when my grandfather and his cronies were talking about women, work, and life.

But then, I was special. My generation were special. They were just bitter, old, men, right?! The "older generation." What can they possibly know about love?

It's ok. I loved large, and still do. I just see maybe a bit more clearly than once I did. Odd how what I remember now the old dudes telling me back then almost sounds like prophesy.

Enjoy your life! Learn from others and avoid mistakes.

[FZRguy]

I sat next to a stripper on my plane ride to Alaska last summer. She was going there to work at a club for a month. Married, mid-30's and seemed to have her act together. But as the drinks and pills she was popping piled up, very typical stripper. She made the 5 hour flight more interesting (red-eye and we were the only row awake), and we gave her a ride to her hotel. By that time she was really getting on my nerves and I just wanted away from her.

[Radek]

is there anything money cant buy ?

[Jmetz]

Just remember behind every hot chick, there's a guy that's tired of bangin her.

[grim]

Just remember behind every stripper, there's a guy that gave her the herp when he slammed her with the derp.

Fixed

[McVaaahhh]

Date/Bang a stripper? Sure, why not, crazy can be fun for a while.

Have a relationship or marry a stripper? No thanks, way too much baggage.


Just remember fellas, if she's willing to let you take her home from the club, you ain't planting your flag in undiscovered country!

[#1Townie]

Shit i wil glove it up and bang a stripper. You guys are always think marriage. Fuck that shit. IN AND OUT FOOLS!

[MissBratt]

Wow so harsh on the ladies huh guys? There are SOME good one's out there who have REAL job's and money. No reason to hate

[Nick_Ninja]

Wow so harsh on the ladies huh guys? There are SOME good one's out there who have REAL job's and money. No reason to hate

I have a real job and real money and I'm not willing to share that with the bitches --- evah /story.

[grim]

Shit i wil glove it up and bang a stripper. You guys are always think marriage. Fuck that shit. IN AND OUT FOOLS!

Speak for yourself, i get in and out whenever i want it from the one im married to so i cant complain.

[Dietrich_R1]

You know you REALLY SCREWED UP if your daughter dances on a pole!!!

[CaneZach]

Wow so harsh on the ladies huh guys? There are SOME good one's out there who have REAL job's and money. No reason to hate

Ms. Bratt, you seem like a lovely lady, but I don't think we're being harsh on the ladies in here and I'm not hating either. On the contrary, I love women! There are lots of great women. There are also women who carry very, VERY minimal baggage, but an overwhelming majority of strippers do NOT fall into that category.

I am convinced there is a reason that stripping attracts certain women, and it isn't the money. Sure, there are women who get into it because they know they can make more in one night than they do in a week, but a lot of women who need money don't instantly jump from being a struggling receptionist to stripping. I would venture to say most women would much rather work two or even three jobs rather than taking their clothes off for money. There's something about societal norms and standards, as well as peoples' own inhibitions, that prevents us from entering a line of work that forces us to take our clothes off. There's a negative connotation with the word "stripper". To most people, it's a degrading line of work. Most of the strippers I've known, and admittedly my interaction with them was well over a decade ago, have some serious issues that supercede those norms, standards, or inhibitions. They also don't really care about the negative connotation.

If I sound like I am hating on women, I apologize. That certainly was not my intent.