So I just found this searching through the Free section of the site

http://denver.craigslist.org/zip/5069858859.html

FREE BUM!

condition: pathetic





Free Labor finders loser bum, missing common sense, decency, and top teeth; also missing a CLUE regarding interpersonal/work relationships. Has extensive criminal background, tantrums worthy of a spoiled 4 year old, ability to try to blame others for his stupid decisions/choices. May currently be on period and needs to change his tampon. Possibly closet gay. Wadsworth and Colfax area, look for the dumbass pushing a bike with 1 pedal.