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Thread: I rage too much......

  1. #1

    I rage too much......

    except when im on my bike. I am honestly thinking of switching to driving my motorcycle as a daily. I dont really take any dangerous routes, just powers, which as long as I am not acting stupid and aware of mergers and tailgaters, I would be ok to daily when the weather is right.

    Anyhow, my issue is, I have anger issues.....oh boy and especially while driving. The moment I feel like I am disrespected (example when I get tailgated puts pressure on me to speed up because they want to get to their destination faster and dont give a shit about me), I want to confront the driver which Ive done plenty of times. Ive tried to control my anger, but just cant. I usually end up getting headaches and heart rate goes up, which cant be healthy.

    I feel like riding my bike is the only solution to fix this. I actually have no anger when I am riding. I am very calm and just enjoying myself. One of the reasons I think I am an angry person is, as confusing as it sounds....I am a laid back easy going person. I am not even an aggressive driver. I drive the speed limit and always on the slow lane. Eventually, I start bubbling by humanity. I start seeing the people who only think about themselves and not giving a shit on others.

    Wondering if I am alone on this or do people feel my pain?

  2. #2
    Senior Member The Black Knight's Avatar
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    Re: I rage too much......

    Quote Originally Posted by willc86 View Post
    except when im on my bike. I am honestly thinking of switching to driving my motorcycle as a daily. I dont really take any dangerous routes, just powers, which as long as I am not acting stupid and aware of mergers and tailgaters, I would be ok to daily when the weather is right.

    Anyhow, my issue is, I have anger issues.....oh boy and especially while driving. The moment I feel like I am disrespected (example when I get tailgated puts pressure on me to speed up because they want to get to their destination faster and dont give a shit about me), I want to confront the driver which Ive done plenty of times. Ive tried to control my anger, but just cant. I usually end up getting headaches and heart rate goes up, which cant be healthy.

    I feel like riding my bike is the only solution to fix this. I actually have no anger when I am riding. I am very calm and just enjoying myself. One of the reasons I think I am an angry person is, as confusing as it sounds....I am a laid back easy going person. I am not even an aggressive driver. I drive the speed limit and always on the slow lane. Eventually, I start bubbling by humanity. I start seeing the people who only think about themselves and not giving a shit on others.

    Wondering if I am alone on this or do people feel my pain?
    How old are you exactly?

    Reason I'm asking, you might need to do a little growing up and also exercise some self control sir.

    Traffic will always be the way it is. Losing your temper at the drop of a hat is the act of a child. Keeping your cool when the situation gets tense is something a mature person shows. If someone rides your tail or is tailgating. Let them go around, or slow down. The fact that they are in a hurry because they can't manage their time is not your problem. You do the speed limit, if they get to where they are going late, well then that's just too bad. They should have left the house sooner.

    Here's a little quote for you, "Poor planning on your part, does not necessitate an emergency on my part."

    What does that quote mean? Simply put, the fact that someone can't manage their time or their day, does not mean you need to rearrange your schedule or compromise what you are doing just to fit them in. Means, you don't alter your driving habits or let them bother your demeanor just because they can't read a clock.

    Another plain truth is that most people have their head in their ass when they drive. They are preoccupied with distractions within their car(i.e. other people, the radio, texting!!).

    We all have a finite amount of time during the day to get things done. Some of us manage that time more appropriately than others.

    Riding your motorcycle everywhere isn't the solution either. Sooner or later you have to be in a vehicle. Learning how to control your anger now will only help you later, when you do have to be in a car or truck.

    My advice, work on your anger issues. Running away from a problem isn't fixing it, that only kicks the can down the tracks. Deal with your problem today, so that tomorrow it's not an even bigger problem. Work on that weakness and turn it into a strength. Go from someone that is hot headed and can lose their cool at a moments notice, to someone who has ice in their veins and gets rattled by nothing.
    ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

    "So live your life so the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their views, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and of service to your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.
    "

    "Finish today what others won't, so you can achieve tomorrow what others can't."




  3. #3

    Re: I rage too much......

    I am actually 32....seems it just gets worse as I age as well. As far as growing up, not much else I can grow up in; I have a career, married, mortgage, etc. Its just anger that builds up from people being selfless pricks, and it is just something I can not control; believe me, I tried. Riding my bike seems to help quite a bit since it clears my head and thoughts. Could be just straight up I have anger issues and need to perhaps go to some classes.

  4. #4
    Gold Member madvlad's Avatar
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    Re: I rage too much......

    I also have a short fuse but with time I’ve learned to manage and let go, there’s better things to get mad about to be honest. People will be people and it isn’t worth it being robbed of your peace dude. Do what you can, take some deep breaths and move on. Too many crazies out here to get heated over.
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  5. #5

    Re: I rage too much......

    Quote Originally Posted by madvlad View Post
    I also have a short fuse but with time I’ve learned to manage and let go, there’s better things to get mad about to be honest. People will be people and it isn’t worth it being robbed of your peace dude. Do what you can, take some deep breaths and move on. Too many crazies out here to get heated over.
    yeah this is true. I try believe me. How did you end up managing it? any tips advice? Ive even done thing such as move my rearview mirror where I can see them tailgating, but I am just making myself more at risk.

  6. #6
    Gold Member madvlad's Avatar
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    Re: I rage too much......

    It’s hard because for people like us it becomes a habit that while hard to break but not impossible. You just simply force yourself to take calmer action and slowly but surely you start getting used to reacting in such way. Took me a bit but made it happen. Some days my fuse is short and I start getting carried away but catch myself, take a deep breath and just let it go. Getting riled up only stoops you down to their level, if you’re being tailgated just simply move if you have room and carry on with your day man.
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  7. #7
    Senior Member The Black Knight's Avatar
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    Re: I rage too much......

    Quote Originally Posted by willc86 View Post
    I am actually 32....seems it just gets worse as I age as well. As far as growing up, not much else I can grow up in; I have a career, married, mortgage, etc. Its just anger that builds up from people being selfless pricks, and it is just something I can not control; believe me, I tried. Riding my bike seems to help quite a bit since it clears my head and thoughts. Could be just straight up I have anger issues and need to perhaps go to some classes.
    What I meant by growing up and inquiring about your age. Is that you might still need to mature mentally. Sure you have a career, are married with house and all the other stuff. But if you can't control your anger, then you can't control yourself. Thus meaning, you have no self control. Which could mean if you lose your temper at the wrong time, do something you regret, you may end up losing all of those nice things you have in your life. You don't want that.

    If it's getting worse with age, then yes I'd recommend you might need to seek a professional to speak with. It could stem from an underlying problem or suppressed emotions from childhood, etc.

    So at 32 I would imagine you've figured it out by now that people(especially when it comes to driving) can be dicks. And there is just no changing them. People are rapacious and care only of themselves. It's never more evident than while driving, for some people they are the only one's on the road.

    Sure riding the bike helps but you still need to figure out what's going on inside so you can control it.
    ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

    "So live your life so the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their views, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and of service to your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.
    "

    "Finish today what others won't, so you can achieve tomorrow what others can't."




  8. #8
    Senior Member j0ker's Avatar
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    Re: I rage too much......

    I think it's pretty easy to get frustrated with life, drivers, rush hour, etc. One thing that honestly keeps me pretty calm is that I concealed carry most of the time. I very much DO NOT want to get into any aggressive encounters and carrying just reinforces that mindset. I don't know if I am conveying this very well, but, the possibility of having to shoot someone who attacks me makes me want to even more aggressively police how I react to frustrating situations, so as not to escalate.

    That being said, fuck some of these asshat drivers.

  9. #9
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    Re: I rage too much......

    Until recently, I lived in the Springs for over 9 years, the traffic situation there is horrible, and it's only getting worse as more people move/are stationed there. Traffic can be a serious source of aggravation for plenty of people, especially when there are no quick routes anywhere. Time is precious to everyone, so the sense of futility that your time is being wasted dealing with other drivers or traffic jams is infuriating. Sadly, riding in the city isn't that much better. Yes, you can get around a bit faster, but at a highly compounded risk. Needless to say, if you find yourself raging in a car, it won't be long before you're kicking doors or smashing mirrors when drivers pull boneheaded maneuvers around you. The reason being that on a bike you are vastly more exposed to danger, and whereas in a car it might be a fender bender, on a bike it can literally be life or death. Ask yourself, do you really think, given the anxiety you experience in a car, that it won't bleed over on a bike?

    The solution, I'm afraid, isn't changing your mode of transportation, but, as has already been said, by changing your state of mind about it. When those situations arise, the best advice I can give is to remind yourself that worrying about things you can't control is like needlessly carrying the weight of others' poor decisions. It's not easy and takes work, but, in the end, you will lift yourself above those problems and find that you can be easy going in the car just as you are everywhere else.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Aaron's Avatar
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    Re: I rage too much......

    Reading threads like this makes me all for gun control.

  11. #11
    Senior Member j0ker's Avatar
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    Re: I rage too much......

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron View Post
    Reading threads like this makes me all for gun control.
    What? People don't get mad?

  12. #12
    Senior Member Zanatos's Avatar
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    Re: I rage too much......

    I am normally a fairly Zen person unless I see someone do something incredibly stupid. But even then, I try to not let idiots get under my skin and raise my blood pressure. When I was younger, I used to have a horrible temper, and it got me into trouble on several occasions. These days when people tailgate me, I get into the right lane slow down and let them pass by. I never let anyone pressure me to go faster or take chances - and I refuse to let bad drivers stress me out and piss me off.


    How would you like to get roundhouse kicked with a motorcycle?

  13. #13
    Gold Member madvlad's Avatar
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    Re: I rage too much......

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanatos View Post
    I am normally a fairly Zen person unless I see someone do something incredibly stupid. But even then, I try to not let idiots get under my skin and raise my blood pressure. When I was younger, I used to have a horrible temper, and it got me into trouble on several occasions. These days when people tailgate me, I get into the right lane slow down and let them pass by. I never let anyone pressure me to go faster or take chances - and I refuse to let bad drivers stress me out and piss me off.
    yeah pretty much to the point I am at now, say fuck it and move on with my day.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron View Post
    Reading threads like this makes me all for gun control.
    yeah I may be angry but I have enough self control to not go shooting anyone on a whim
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  14. #14

    Re: I rage too much......

    Quote Originally Posted by j0ker View Post
    I think it's pretty easy to get frustrated with life, drivers, rush hour, etc. One thing that honestly keeps me pretty calm is that I concealed carry most of the time. I very much DO NOT want to get into any aggressive encounters and carrying just reinforces that mindset. I don't know if I am conveying this very well, but, the possibility of having to shoot someone who attacks me makes me want to even more aggressively police how I react to frustrating situations, so as not to escalate.

    That being said, fuck some of these asshat drivers.

    just be careful though. My friend got sent to prison in Miami FL for a road rage incident. The dude came out of his car and started banging on his widow, ended up breaking it and my friend shot him out of "self defense" I am not 100% sure of the details, but something about that he was not armed.

    I dont carry, though I should...but might not be wise that I do. If it is, it would be when I am out ATVing and in self defense of a bear or something (which happened in Virginia to me one time ) But I do keep a gun at my house in case someone breaks in. prefer to never use it and wont chase down the victim unless he goes through the enclosed room, then I have no choice but chances of that are slim to none

    anyhow, I appreciate all the responses. Ive been thinking of getting some professional help, glad to know this cant be normal. When I am on my motorcycle though, it never happens though ha ha! at least that!
    Last edited by willc86; Sun Apr 29th, 2018 at 07:11 AM.

  15. #15

    Re: I rage too much......

    Quote Originally Posted by Drano View Post
    Until recently, I lived in the Springs for over 9 years, the traffic situation there is horrible, and it's only getting worse as more people move/are stationed there. Traffic can be a serious source of aggravation for plenty of people, especially when there are no quick routes anywhere. Time is precious to everyone, so the sense of futility that your time is being wasted dealing with other drivers or traffic jams is infuriating. Sadly, riding in the city isn't that much better. Yes, you can get around a bit faster, but at a highly compounded risk. Needless to say, if you find yourself raging in a car, it won't be long before you're kicking doors or smashing mirrors when drivers pull boneheaded maneuvers around you. The reason being that on a bike you are vastly more exposed to danger, and whereas in a car it might be a fender bender, on a bike it can literally be life or death. Ask yourself, do you really think, given the anxiety you experience in a car, that it won't bleed over on a bike?

    The solution, I'm afraid, isn't changing your mode of transportation, but, as has already been said, by changing your state of mind about it. When those situations arise, the best advice I can give is to remind yourself that worrying about things you can't control is like needlessly carrying the weight of others' poor decisions. It's not easy and takes work, but, in the end, you will lift yourself above those problems and find that you can be easy going in the car just as you are everywhere else.

    that is exactly what I am scared of. So far, on my bike, Ive been learning to let go almost instantly. I had a few wtf people, but the more I drive, the more I start thinking its not their fault, they just didnt see me bc I am so small and I let it go.

    In a car, I think its more of "i feel like I am getting disrespected" if they cut in front of me, tail gate me, dont use their blinkers etc. However, I need to learn how to just ignore those things and not let it get to me. Man its just so frustrating...like dude use your blinkers...stop tailgating me.. etc

    regardless I know on a bike is much different, and the instant emotions take over, it can be very dangerous since it can alter the way I drive and think...

  16. #16
    Senior Member The Black Knight's Avatar
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    Re: I rage too much......

    Quote Originally Posted by willc86 View Post
    that is exactly what I am scared of. So far, on my bike, Ive been learning to let go almost instantly. I had a few wtf people, but the more I drive, the more I start thinking its not their fault, they just didnt see me bc I am so small and I let it go.

    In a car, I think its more of "i feel like I am getting disrespected" if they cut in front of me, tail gate me, dont use their blinkers etc. However, I need to learn how to just ignore those things and not let it get to me. Man its just so frustrating...like dude use your blinkers...stop tailgating me.. etc

    regardless I know on a bike is much different, and the instant emotions take over, it can be very dangerous since it can alter the way I drive and think...
    There's two books you should look into reading, that may help with changing your mindset and taking on more ownership in yourself and life. One is called Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink and the other is Unbeatable Mind by Mark Divine.

    Both books can help you with setting goals, changing your outlook on life, retooling the way you think and taking on personal ownership in all situations.

    Now you'll get out of those books what you put in. And you can pick and choose things that will help you out. For me, specifically Unbeatable Mind, I had to not focus on the philosophical parts that Mark Divine talks about. For him, he's really big into Yogi and transcendental meditation. I don't believe in that sort of thing, so I used the more physical and practical examples to learn from.

    Jocko Willink's book Extreme Ownership, gives many examples of how you can affect the situation and be part of the solution. You can also be part of the problem and that's where you need to focus extreme ownership and then offer up a solution. The concepts in the book are for leadership and growing teams within the corporate world, however there are many good lessons to learn from the book. Using them to then apply them to the way you live and view life. You can take extreme ownership in just day to day tasks.
    ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

    "So live your life so the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their views, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and of service to your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.
    "

    "Finish today what others won't, so you can achieve tomorrow what others can't."




  17. #17
    Gold Member madvlad's Avatar
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    Re: I rage too much......

    I started taking MMA adult classes and it helped quite a bit, felt more relaxed and at bay with my anger afterwards
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  18. #18
    Senior Member The Black Knight's Avatar
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    Re: I rage too much......

    Quote Originally Posted by madvlad View Post
    I started taking MMA adult classes and it helped quite a bit, felt more relaxed and at bay with my anger afterwards
    One thing that helped me, Drano hit on, was when I obtained my CCW back in my mid 20's. I never had a problem keeping my cool back then, even though I have the DNA for having a hot temper, it always just took a lot to get me to boiling point.

    But one thing I will say that has kept me from ever reaching boiling point is when I obtained my CCW. From that point on, I knew I had to take my composure to a whole other level. The responsibility(my CCW) I was given must never be abused or mistreated with lack of respect. When I obtained my license, I just knew that I was now held to a much higher level, and that my personality, character and integrity must also move to a much higher level.

    One thing that has stuck with me from way back when from my instructor is that he told me, a good CCW'er knows when to just walk away. Diffusion of a situation is a skill that must be polished to perfection. If you can't talk your way out of a situation, then know when to just back away from it. I was trained that you must do everything possible to keep from drawing your side arm. And that if your sidearm does come out, it's because you've reached the PONR(point of no return) with a situation.

    I've gone about 12 years now since I obtained my CCW and I'm glad I've never had to draw my sidearm. I hope I never have to draw it.

    I will say that if you take it seriously, it will change your life and the way you live your life. For me partying or drinking was never a problem. But since I'm armed at all times, I refrain from going places that have the potential for bad element. I will not go to bars, or parties where booze will be heavily prevalent. I won't go to certain restaurants even. I won't stay out late(unless I'm working at night). I even avoid large gatherings of people(i.e. baseball or football games).

    Another thing you always have to remember is that when it comes to traffic or name calling is it's never personal. People just do it because they can.

    This is a quick clip from a movie that really explains it and actually has a solid message. Just keep your head or cool and be nice and expect the unexpected.
    ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

    "So live your life so the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their views, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and of service to your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.
    "

    "Finish today what others won't, so you can achieve tomorrow what others can't."




  19. #19
    Senior Member j0ker's Avatar
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    Re: I rage too much......

    Roadhouse. Lol .....great, now I'm watching Roadhouse again.
    Last edited by j0ker; Sun Apr 29th, 2018 at 11:01 PM.

  20. #20
    Gold Member madvlad's Avatar
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    Re: I rage too much......

    Quote Originally Posted by The Black Knight View Post
    One thing that helped me, Drano hit on, was when I obtained my CCW back in my mid 20's. I never had a problem keeping my cool back then, even though I have the DNA for having a hot temper, it always just took a lot to get me to boiling point.

    But one thing I will say that has kept me from ever reaching boiling point is when I obtained my CCW. From that point on, I knew I had to take my composure to a whole other level. The responsibility(my CCW) I was given must never be abused or mistreated with lack of respect. When I obtained my license, I just knew that I was now held to a much higher level, and that my personality, character and integrity must also move to a much higher level.

    One thing that has stuck with me from way back when from my instructor is that he told me, a good CCW'er knows when to just walk away. Diffusion of a situation is a skill that must be polished to perfection. If you can't talk your way out of a situation, then know when to just back away from it. I was trained that you must do everything possible to keep from drawing your side arm. And that if your sidearm does come out, it's because you've reached the PONR(point of no return) with a situation.

    I've gone about 12 years now since I obtained my CCW and I'm glad I've never had to draw my sidearm. I hope I never have to draw it.

    I will say that if you take it seriously, it will change your life and the way you live your life. For me partying or drinking was never a problem. But since I'm armed at all times, I refrain from going places that have the potential for bad element. I will not go to bars, or parties where booze will be heavily prevalent. I won't go to certain restaurants even. I won't stay out late(unless I'm working at night). I even avoid large gatherings of people(i.e. baseball or football games).

    Another thing you always have to remember is that when it comes to traffic or name calling is it's never personal. People just do it because they can.

    This is a quick clip from a movie that really explains it and actually has a solid message. Just keep your head or cool and be nice and expect the unexpected.
    yeah a lot of people were kind of “did you just seriously sign up for your CCW class?” And I was like well yeah, I only want to carry in case of that extreme point where you do have to pull it but you hope you never have to and in the same page there as it also takes a ton for me to get to that boiling point getting older now and what not but my conscience will always prevail and won’t ever use a gun unless my life or the life of those around me is at immediate danger. At the end of the day it’s all about learning self control and growing up in the neighborhood that I did, seeing people get shot point blank getting mugged and such I also hold a very respectful fear of firearms as I know what type of damage it can cause and such. I have been doing those MMA classes for about 5 years now and those worked far better than any therapist session ever did, those just made me more angry
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