Part Nine: What now?
Okay, now you are getting the front wheel up regularly. Now you can find the balance point. Basically, it's this floaty, light point in a wheelie that is really damn high up there where you don't have to use as much throttle and you can basically keep it up indefinitely.
Part Ten: More Gears!
You aren't limited to 1st gear, of course. Once you are proficient at wheelies, you can use other gears. You can wheelie most sportbikes in 1st and 2nd and maybe 3rd gear, and some big boys like the R1 or the ZX-9 or maybe a Blackbird might be wheeliable even in 4th. I haven't brought a bike up, ever, in 4th, but it is possible.
Alternatively, you can start out in 1st and go up through the gears as far as your balls (or ovaries), the road, and your skill will let you. The current wheelie record is well over 175 miles per hour, so get out there. To shift in a wheelie all you need to do is twitch your right wrist to unload the gears, while having your left toe already pressuring the gear change. No clutch necessary. Some Hondas and other bikes, my Blackbird included, have a big throw from first to second. Give it a big, positive kick into second to avoid missing a shift, having the engine rev the tits off itself, and then having the front wheel slam down to the jeers of any witnesses and to your own shame and possibly mashed privates. If you do get it into second it will want to kick a little higher, so be ready to modulate the throttle. Of course, you haven't' tried to shift into 2nd until you were really familiar with balancing these things, so it's no problem. Now you can go into 3rd and 4th and 5th and 6th, and you're the man (or woman) and you can make money at this.
Part 11: Variations.
Once you're quite the badass, here's some things to try.
Standing up. Easy, stand up on the pegs and wheelie away. Cool, eh?
Crossed up. You'll have to turn the bars and stick out the opposite knee to get a nice, crossed up, rad effect.
Waving/Flip off/other gestures. Take your hand off (your LEFT hand!) and do whatever you think would be cool. Extra points for flipping off cops, if that's your kinda thing.
Passengers. If you have a trusting friend, go for it. It is actually easier because of the weight distribution, but the stakes are higher for obvious reasons.
There are other variations, but if you are good enough to think of them and do them, you wouldn't be reading this, would you?
Part 12: It Ain't My Fault
Phuzzy accepts no responsibility whatsoever for anything that might happen to you if you decide to read this and go out and practice the techniques described herein. Wheelies are inherently dangerous because motorcycles have two wheels for a reason and if you take one of them off the ground, you open up a whole new realm of possible ways to maim yourself. Don't be stupid. Don't blame me if you end up having aftermarket titanium parts installed on your body if something goes wrong. Have fun.
Coming soon! Phuzzy's Guide to Proper Emergency Room Etiquette and Phuzzy's Guide to Picking Up Emergency Room Nurses
Comments? Questions? Criticisms? Fan mail? Email phuzzygnu@aol.com
Please Distribute Freely.