This e-mail was so funny I had to share it:
1. I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy... I'd have had
> > nothing to play with.
> >
> > 2. A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over; nobody's
> > home." I went over. Nobody was home.
> >
> > 3. During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the
> > other night she called me from a hotel.
> >
> > 4. One day I came home early from work ... I saw a guy jogging
> > naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?"
He
> > said "Because you came home early."
> >
> > 5. It's been a rough day. I got up this morning. I put a shirt on
> > and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle
came
> > off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.
> >
> > 6. I was such an ugly kid...When I played in the sandbox, the cat
> > kept covering me up.
> >
> > 7. I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster
and
> > radio.
> >
> > 8. I was such an ugly baby...My mother never breast fed me. She
> > told me that she only liked me as a friend.
> >
> > 9. I'm so ugly...My father carried around a picture of the kid who
> > came with his wallet.
> >
> > 10. When I was born, the doctor came into the waiting room and said
> > to my father, "I'm sorry. We did everything we could, but he
pulled
> > through."
> >
> > 11. I'm so ugly ..... My mother had morning sickness AFTER I was
> > born.
> >
> > 12. I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece
> > of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
> >
> > 13. Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman, and asked him to help
> > me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever
> > find them?"
> > He said, "I don't know kid. There's so many places they can
hide."
> >
> > 14. My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
> >
> > 15. I'm so ugly...I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how
> > big I'd get.
> >
> > 16. I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up
> > and I look in the mirror...I feel like throwing up; What's
> > wrong
with
> > me?" He said..."I don't know but your eyesight is perfect."
> >
> > 17. I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping
> > pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some
rest.
> >
> > 18. With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my
> > kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff.
> >
> > 19. Some dog I got. We call him Egypt because in every room he
> > leaves a pyramid. His favorite bone is in my arm. Last night he
went
> > on the paper four times - three of those times I was reading
it.
> >
> > 20. One year they wanted to make me poster boy for birth control.
> >
> > 21. My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was
> > in the electric chair.
> >
> > And the all time favorite:
> >
> > I'm so ugly, when I was born the doctor slapped my mother !!!
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