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Thread: Fart Football

  1. #1
    AKA "Devaclis"
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    Fart Football

    An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows
    When the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.'

    His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?'
    The old man replied, 'It's fart football..'

    A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says 'Touchdown, tie score.'

    After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says,
    'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'
    Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says,
    'Touchdown, tie score.'

    Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says,
    'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on the old man.

    He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.
    Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got,

    And accidentally shits in the bed.

    The wife says, 'What the hell was that?'

    The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides.'
    First rule of the internet: *bleep* you and everything you stand for. Second rule of the internet: FKZOR U AND RRYTHING U STND FR!

  2. #2
    I'm pumped... Let's let the healing begin! Lifetime Supporter ~Barn~'s Avatar
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    Re: Fart Football

    This one should actually deduct from your post count.
    ~Brandon~
    Aprilia RSV 1000 R Factory - "Gemma"
    MV Agusta F3 800 - "Amy Lou"
    Rattan Fat Bear Plus - "Lynda"
    (720) 935-6438
    I rarely think of motorcycles without a little yearning. They are about moving, and humans, I think, yearn to move – it’s in our cells, in our desires. We quiet our babies with cyclic movement, and we quiet ourselves by going.
    Melissa Holbrook Pierson

  3. #3
    AKA "Devaclis"
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    Re: Fart Football

    Country Buffet?
    First rule of the internet: *bleep* you and everything you stand for. Second rule of the internet: FKZOR U AND RRYTHING U STND FR!

  4. #4
    I'm pumped... Let's let the healing begin! Lifetime Supporter ~Barn~'s Avatar
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    Re: Fart Football

    ~Brandon~
    Aprilia RSV 1000 R Factory - "Gemma"
    MV Agusta F3 800 - "Amy Lou"
    Rattan Fat Bear Plus - "Lynda"
    (720) 935-6438
    I rarely think of motorcycles without a little yearning. They are about moving, and humans, I think, yearn to move – it’s in our cells, in our desires. We quiet our babies with cyclic movement, and we quiet ourselves by going.
    Melissa Holbrook Pierson

  5. #5
    Geriatric Curmudgeon Lifetime Supporter Nick_Ninja's Avatar
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    Re: Fart Football

    D --- speaking from experience.
    "Its all about the motorbikes, always has been and always will be.". ~~ Ewan McGregor 2007

    "It's hard to play the blues when nuthin's really wrong."~~ ---- Joe Walsh 2012

    I.B.A. # 14748 124@X - YRMV

  6. #6
    Gold Member MetaLord 9's Avatar
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    Re: Fart Football

    Quote Originally Posted by ~Barn~ View Post
    This one should actually deduct from your post count.
    Yeah, but then he'd only be 80 something ahead of you!
    [SIGPIC][SIGPIC]

  7. #7
    I'm pumped... Let's let the healing begin! Lifetime Supporter ~Barn~'s Avatar
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    Re: Fart Football

    Yeah, but who's competing?
    ~Brandon~
    Aprilia RSV 1000 R Factory - "Gemma"
    MV Agusta F3 800 - "Amy Lou"
    Rattan Fat Bear Plus - "Lynda"
    (720) 935-6438
    I rarely think of motorcycles without a little yearning. They are about moving, and humans, I think, yearn to move – it’s in our cells, in our desires. We quiet our babies with cyclic movement, and we quiet ourselves by going.
    Melissa Holbrook Pierson

  8. #8
    Gold Member MetaLord 9's Avatar
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    Re: Fart Football

    well...up until a couple days ago, YOU were!
    [SIGPIC][SIGPIC]

  9. #9
    I'm pumped... Let's let the healing begin! Lifetime Supporter ~Barn~'s Avatar
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    Re: Fart Football

    Yeah, but post count has never been my competition on this forum, Chris.

    Just like in highschool, I never took issue when guys like you bought letter jackets for things like "Band" and "DECA". I thought it was kinda cute.
    ~Brandon~
    Aprilia RSV 1000 R Factory - "Gemma"
    MV Agusta F3 800 - "Amy Lou"
    Rattan Fat Bear Plus - "Lynda"
    (720) 935-6438
    I rarely think of motorcycles without a little yearning. They are about moving, and humans, I think, yearn to move – it’s in our cells, in our desires. We quiet our babies with cyclic movement, and we quiet ourselves by going.
    Melissa Holbrook Pierson

  10. #10
    Gold Member Yearly Supporter McVaaahhh's Avatar
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    Re: Fart Football

    '02 RC-51 - Street
    '05 Pitster Pro 125 - Pitbike madness

    Be polite. Be professional. But be prepared to kill everyone you meet.

    "Motorcycles tell us a more useful truth: we are small and exposed, and probably moving too fast for our own good, but that's no reason not to enjoy every minute of the ride."
    ~Dave Karlotski

  11. #11
    Gold Member MetaLord 9's Avatar
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    Re: Fart Football

    Quote Originally Posted by ~Barn~ View Post
    Yeah, but post count has never been my competition on this forum, Chris.

    Just like in highschool, I never took issue when guys like you bought letter jackets for things like "Band" and "DECA". I thought it was kinda cute.
    Well they didn't give out letters for "Douche Bag," otherwise I'd have earned mine.
    [SIGPIC][SIGPIC]

  12. #12
    Gold Member Yearly Supporter McVaaahhh's Avatar
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    Re: Fart Football

    Since Dana is notably absent from this thread I'm guessing he is cooking up something special for his 15,000th post.

    Quick, Admin, screw up his post count.
    '02 RC-51 - Street
    '05 Pitster Pro 125 - Pitbike madness

    Be polite. Be professional. But be prepared to kill everyone you meet.

    "Motorcycles tell us a more useful truth: we are small and exposed, and probably moving too fast for our own good, but that's no reason not to enjoy every minute of the ride."
    ~Dave Karlotski

  13. #13
    I'm pumped... Let's let the healing begin! Lifetime Supporter ~Barn~'s Avatar
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    Re: Fart Football

    Now that Dana is officially topping the charts, is there anybody who has a higher Average Post per Day?

    I mean... assuming a reasonable estimation of mortality, is there anybody who is mathmatically going to pass him at some point?
    ~Brandon~
    Aprilia RSV 1000 R Factory - "Gemma"
    MV Agusta F3 800 - "Amy Lou"
    Rattan Fat Bear Plus - "Lynda"
    (720) 935-6438
    I rarely think of motorcycles without a little yearning. They are about moving, and humans, I think, yearn to move – it’s in our cells, in our desires. We quiet our babies with cyclic movement, and we quiet ourselves by going.
    Melissa Holbrook Pierson

  14. #14
    Gold Member MetaLord 9's Avatar
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    Re: Fart Football

    God.
    [SIGPIC][SIGPIC]

  15. #15
    Douche Yearly Supporter Sortarican's Avatar
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    Re: Fart Football

    Quote Originally Posted by ~Barn~ View Post
    Now that Dana is officially topping the charts, is there anybody who has a higher Average Post per Day?
    I'm only .5 posts per day behind him.
    (And I don't have interweb at home.)
    Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls would scarcely get your feet wet.

  16. #16
    Senior Member *GSXR~SNAIL*'s Avatar
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    Re: Fart Football

    Liberty never came from government. The history of liberty is a history of resistance. The history of liberty is a history of limitations of government power, not the increase of it. Woodrow Wilson, September 9th, 1912

    "The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude."

  17. #17
    Pimp Daddy Matty's Avatar
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    Re: Fart Football

    Quote Originally Posted by ~Barn~ View Post
    Now that Dana is officially topping the charts, is there anybody who has a higher Average Post per Day?

    I mean... assuming a reasonable estimation of mortality, is there anybody who is mathmatically going to pass him at some point?
    Give Chris another year and get Dana a sabbatical from work so he can play WOW non-stop. and it might happen!!!
    Remember Yesterday. Plan For Tomorrow. Live For Today.

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    (Custom Street Fighter).
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  18. #18
    Senior Member SaShWhO's Avatar
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    Re: Fart Football

    I will
    be nice till it's time to no longer be nice

  19. #19
    Senior Member SaShWhO's Avatar
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    Re: Fart Football

    pass up
    be nice till it's time to no longer be nice

  20. #20
    Senior Member SaShWhO's Avatar
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    Re: Fart Football

    Dana at this rate.
    be nice till it's time to no longer be nice

  21. #21
    Gold Member MetaLord 9's Avatar
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    Re: Fart Football

    Less talk, more KITTAHS!!!
    [SIGPIC][SIGPIC]

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