1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is: "den-ver" not Denvah.
2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Denver has its own version of traffic rules...the cars/truck with the loudest muffler goes next at a 4-way stop. The truck with the biggest tires goes after that.(Note: Blue-haired, green-haired or cranberry-haired ladies driving anything have right of way anytime.)
3. To find anything in Denver it is required that you know Colfax and Broadway; the Alpha and Omega -- the beginning and the End.
4. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 to 10:00 a.m. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out and possibly shot.
6. You must know that "I-25 and the Valley Hwy" are the same road. Same goes for Hampden Ave, Highway 285.
7. North and south only vaguely resemble the real direction of certain streets such as Speer Blvd.
8. Highway 287 runs north, south, east and west and every direction in between; it can be found in every section of the Denver area to make navigating interesting.
9. Construction is a permanent fixture in Denver. The barrels are moved around in the middle of the night to make the next days driving a bit more exciting.
10. Watch very carefully for road hazards such as drunks, jay-walkers, pan-handlers, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, pot holes, cats, pieces of other cars, truck tires, squirrels, rabbits, prairie dogs and crows or vultures feeding on any of these items.
11. Ground clearance of at least 12 inches for your vehicle is recommended for city driving. Lots of "stuff" falls off or falls from something.
12. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."
13. The minimum acceptable speed on all freeways -- I-25, I-76, I-225, US 285/Hampden, Hwys 87 and 36 is 85 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy. This is Colorado's version of NASCAR. The difference is some drivers are armed and irritable!
14. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. (It maybe hazardous to your health)
15. If you are in the left lane and are going only 70 in a 55-65 zone...you are considered a road hazard, and will be "flipped off" accordingly.
16. The trend in recent years indicates if it's 70 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.
17. If it's snowing, it could well be the week after Memorial Day.
18. Highway 36 to and from Boulder is called the "Turnpike." No other highway is called the Turnpike. If someone refers to another highway as a Turnpike, tell them to go back to the East.
19. If someone refers to a highway with the article "the," as in, "The 25" tell them to go back to California.
20. A red light means four more cars can go through. Not three, not five. Four.
21. Lincoln Street is a major route into Downtown and runs north and south. Lincoln Ave. is now a major route on the south end of town, but the two never meet.
22. University and Colorado are two boulevards that run parallel. Geometry not working in the suburbs, these streets intersect south of C-470.
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Originally Posted by AlphaOne
aka Zane aka The Quiet One
(720) 935-6438
