What's the Best Spam You've Gotten?

[MetaLord 9]

Dunno 'bout you, but I check my spam filter at work & it always makes me chuckle. Here are some of my favorites from this morning:

Subject: Attack her ham pocket more
Subject : Prosperity in banging


What 'chou got?

[salsashark]

[DavidofColorado]

I think no spam is good spam.

[Horsman]

I have Spam in my home computer


and Dana has Spam in his Lab!!!

[asp_125]

[DevilsTonic]

I haven't had the time to sit and look at the quarantines on our spam filters in months...so I just took a quick look and here are some of today's highlights.

Genital Herpes Treatments
Lovemaking positions - Rear Entry.

[kawasakirob]

I usually get these emails that girls are looking for me, when I click on the link, it tells me I need to register

[Zach929rr]

I usually get these emails that girls are looking for me, when I click on the link, it tells me I need to register

that's just to protect them.

[kawasakirob]

that's just to protect them.

Ha, I had it coming

[TFOGGuys]

Apparently, I'm a gazillionaire:

I am Majida Haifa ,Attorney at law. A deceased client of mine, that shares the same last name as yours, who died as the result of a heart-related condition in March 12th 2005. His heart condition was due to the death of all the members of his family in the tsunami disaster on the 26th December 2004 in Sumatra Indonesia .

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2004_In...ean_earthquake

I have contacted you to assist in distributing the money left behind by my client before it is confiscated or declared unserviceable by the bank where this deposit valued at Nineteen million dollars (US$19million dollars) is lodged.

This bank has issued me a notice to contact the next of kin, or the account will be confiscated.

I will like you to acknowledge the receipt of this e-mail as soon as possible via my private EMAIL : (barrmajidahaifi2009@gmail.com ) and treat with absolute confidentiality and sincerity. I look forward to your quick reply.

Best regards,

(barrmajidahaifi2009@gmail.com )

(+60169023513)

Majida Haifa

Attorney At Law

[TFOGGuys]

This one is MUCH better than the last one...from the Director of the FBI, no less!

Attn: Beneficiary,


This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly Investigated with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you are having an illegal Transaction with Impostors claiming to be Mr. Tito Mboweni Republic of the Reserve Bank Of South African , Mr. Patrick Aziza, Mr Frank Nweke, none officials of ABSA Bank, FNB Banks, kelvin Young of HSBC, Ben of Fedex,Ibrahim Sule,Larry Christopher are impostors claiming to be the Federal Bureau Of Investigation. During our Investigation, we noticed that the reason why you have not received your payment is because you have not fulfilled your Financial Obligation given to you in respect of your Contract/Inheritance Payment.

Therefore, we have contacted the Federal Ministry Of Finance on your behalf and they have brought a solution to your problem by cordinating your payment in total USD$11,000.000.00 in an ATM CARD which you can use to withdraw money from any ATM MACHINE CENTER anywhere in the world with a maximum of $4000 to $5000 United States Dollars daily. You now have the lawful right to claim your fund in an ATM CARD.


Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation is involved in this transaction, you have to be rest assured for this is 100% risk free it is our duty to protect the American Citizens. All I want you to do is to contact the ATM CARD CENTER via email for their requirements to proceed and procure your Approval Slip on your behalf which will cost you $90.00 only and note that your Approval Slip which contains details of the agent who will process your transaction.

CONTACT INFORMATION
NAME: James Smuts
EMAIL: payofficer@yahoo.cn
Telephone Numbers: +27781302165




Do contact Mr. James Smuts of the ATM CARD center with your details:


FULL NAME:
HOME ADDRESS:
TELL:
CELL:
CURRENT OCCUPATION:
BANK NAME:


So your files would be updated after which he will send the payment informations which you'll use in making payment of $90.00 via Money Gram Transfer for the procurement of your Approval Slip after which the delivery of your ATM CARD will be effected to your designated home address without any further delay. Mr. James Smuts will reply you with the secret code (8389 ATM CARD).


We advice you get back to the payment office after you have contacted the ATM SWIFT CARD CENTER and we do await your response so we can move on with our Investigation and make sure your ATM SWIFT CARD gets to you.


Thanks and hope to read from you soon.


FBI Director Robert S.Mueller III.



Note: Do disregard any email you get from any impostors or offices claiming to be in possesion of your ATM CARD, you are hereby adviced only to be in contact with Mr. James Smuts of the ATM CARD center who is the rightful person to deal with in regards to your ATM CARD PAYMENT and forward any emails you get from impostors to this office so we could act upon and commence investigation.

[MetaLord 9]

These got me where I live man...
http://www.cosportbikeclub.org/forum...ad.php?t=31840
http://www.cosportbikeclub.org/forums/showthread.php?t=31841

[Gainer]

-People tell me I look like a young Britney Spears.
-Flush out excess pounds from your colon!
-Termite swarms may soon sweep across the U.S. !
-This Saturday: The Flash Mob at The Toad Tavern

[ghostrider_9]

-People tell me I look like a young Britney Spears.
-Flush out excess pounds from your colon!
-Termite swarms may soon sweep across the U.S. !
-This Saturday: The Flash Mob at The Toad Tavern

Now that's some funny sh!t right there!

[MetaLord 9]

- Desire will litterally circulate throughout your wang
- Make your boner so iron in could pierce a hole in ceiling

[wankel7]

Hi! This is Cathy. Hot girls love beasty on a farm.


LOL

[TFOGGuys]

$7.5 up for grabs...any takers?

Mr. Dinther Helmut Udo
Valiant Privat Bank AG
Postfach,
3001 Bern,
Switzerland.
Confidential Tel : 011-870-764107753
Confidential Fax : 011-870-764107751
Email: dinther200@sify.com

Hello,

I am contacting you on a business transaction of a huge sum of money
from a deceased account, though I know a transaction of this magnitude
will make any one apprehensive and worried, but I’m assuring you that
all will be well at the end of the day and this is why am contacting
you due to the urgency of this transaction.

We discovered an abandoned sum of (Seven million five hundred
Thousand United States dollars) in an account that belongs to one of
Our foreign customer who died along side with his entire family, and ever
Since his death none of his next of kin or relations has come forward
to lay claims for this money as his heir.

We cannot release the funds from his account unless someone applies for
Claim as the next of kin to the deceased as indicated on our banking
Guidelines. And upon this discovery we now seek your permission to have
you stand as a next of kin to the deceased in which all documentations
Will be carefully worked out by us for the (Seven million five hundred
Thousand United States dollars) to be released in your favour as the
Beneficiary’s/next of kin to the deceased. And It may interest you to
know that we have secured from the probate an order of mandamus to
locate any of the deceased beneficiary.

Kindly acknowledge receipt of this message in acceptance of our
mutual business endeavour by furnishing me with the following;

1. Beneficiary name and contact address.
2. Direct telephone, fax and Mobile numbers.
3. Date of birth and occupation.

These requirements will enable us file letter of claim to the appropriate
departments and authorities for necessary approvals for the release of
the funds in your favour, before the transfer can be made to you. And we
will be compensating you with thirty percent of the total funds on final
conclusion of this project, while the rest will be for us and for
investment purposes. And If this proposal is acceptable by you, do not
take undue advantage of the trust we have bestowed in you.

NB: If you are willing to assist me, including the information's i have
requested from you, call me on my confidential Tel: 011-870-764107753 or
call me on +870-764107753. For further details on what to do next.

Please Respond to Email: dinther200@sify.com

I await your response and call.

Regards,

Mr. Dinther Helmut Udo.

Confidential Tel : 011-870-764107753

Confidential Fax : 011-870-764107751

[Scribbler]

Just checked my spam folder and found one that makes you think...

"Global Leadership in HandCare."

[TFOGGuys]

The offers keep coming.... I should be a billionaire by September...

Attn.

My proposition to you is to seek your consent, A deceased client of
mine,that shares the same last name as yours, who died as the result of
heart-related conditionin March 12th 2007. His heart condition was due
to the death of all the members of his family in the tsunami disaster
on the 26th December 2004 in Sumatra Indonesia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2004_In...ean_earthquake.

I have contacted you to assist in distributing the money left behind by
my client before it is confiscated or declared unserviceable by the
bank where this deposit valued at Nineteen million dollars
(US$19million dollars) is lodged. This bank has issued me a notice to
contact the next of kin, or the account will be confiscated.

I will like you to acknowledge the receipt of this e-mail as soon as
possible via my private EMAIL -:barristerzheng@gmail.com


Best regards,
Tan Zheng
Attorney at Law
Email:-barristerzheng@gmail.com

[Filo]

My favorite was

Help! I can't see my penis. Stomach too big? Click here. Penis too small? Click here.

[Horsman]

abstinent academe - People go to school for this???

Intelelct is cutee, buut the gilrs vaule yoour ap-pearance - can't depend on their spelling skillz

you really need rolex on your arm - I could us one for my head

GenericViagraCialis cheapest price guaranteed, Fast Shipping, Full Satisfaction ... - will I really be satisfied

Ready for bowling? - nope

Prevent Alzheimer's Disease - Why remember being 12 when you can always think that you are 12

ls your manhood blg enough - I hope so...

Be A Rockstar For A Day - If I was at work I would get fired...

You're officially "in" now - wow, I feel so special...

We Have A Trial For You - Jury Duty sucks!!!

Dperession wiill neevr leet you down aagin! - not being able to spell will make you suicidal

Re: Peni_s Enlargement Works - LOL

Headcahe afetr yseterday patry? Take Unlce Rumimes Hangvoer Pil-ls! - Unlce Rumimes???

My own mail stolen - I shot the sheriff but I didn't steal his mail

Make your manhood tuned - remind me to get that jetted for this altitude.

[Pandora-11]

Why You Should Avoid Multitasking. lumosity.com

Smooth your skin using this salad ingredient. realage.com

Do You have sagging skin?
Saggy Skin


Saggy Skin

As we age, saggy skin becomes more and more of a problem. The skin on our face begins to loose elasticity as we age and facial muscles are no longer able to hold facial skin in place. This results in the development of lines, wrinkles, and eventually deep folds. Often times the process begins with delicate lines such as expression lines, brow lines, and mild crow’s feet and later develops into more unsightly sagging in the entire face.

In the past, the only way to deal with or reverse this effect has been with expensive cosmetic surgery, painful toxin injections, and harsh chemical peels. Each of these comes with a long list of potentially serious side effects. Add to that a price tag that is prohibitive for the vast majority of the population and it is easy to see why so many people look to alternative treatments for dealing with saggy skin.

Preventing Saggy Skin

The best way to deal with saggy skin is to ensure that you take a proactive approach to skin care and follow a few simple steps to help prevent the early onset of facial sagging. Here are some tips to help keep your skin firm:

1. Keep Properly Hydrated.

It is important for adults to drink at least 8 full glasses of water a day. Water is your skins natural cleansing system. Water constantly works to flush away toxins and waste products to keep your skin soft and healthy.

2. Protect Yourself From the Sun

Sun damage is one of the leading causes of premature saggy skin and facial wrinkles. Always apply a sunscreen with an SPF rating of at least 15 if you plan on being outdoors for more than 30 minutes. Your sunscreen is one of your most powerful weapons against saggy skin and aging spots.

3. Don’t Smoke

Avoid smoking at all costs. If you are currently a smoker, do whatever it takes to quit – permanently. Smoking actively increases the signs of aging and can increase your risk of developing sagging skin significantly.

4. Keep Your Skin Clean

Never go to bed with make up on. This will lead to increased stress on your skin and can cause pores to clog and become infected. Be sure to wash your entire face daily with a gentle cleanser. The key here is not to rub, scrape, or be overly abrasive in the process. As with most things in life, moderation is the key to achieving favorable long term results.

Reducing Existing Saggy Skin

What can be done about existing lines, wrinkles, and sagging skin? Traditionally the only solutions available have been painful and expensive cosmetic surgeries, toxin injections, and harsh chemical peels. Each of which has a long list of potentially dangerous side effects. Recent scientific breakthroughs have allowed for the development of more gentle cosmetic products that can reduce saggy skin as well as facial lines and wrinkles without the risks involved with other more traditional procedures. A word of caution, there are some products that produce outstanding results and have independent clinical studies to back up their claims while the market remains flooded with copycat products that deliver nothing more than a hit to your bank account.

One product to consider is Athena 7 Minute Lift. Their product has produced an average reduction in lines, wrinkles, and saggy skin of 83.72% as verified by one of the top cosmetics laboratories in the country. Their product has been highly acclaimed by consumers and is backed by a 60 day money back guarantee. You can obtain additional information by visiting their website here: Athena 7 Minute Lift Watch out for companies that make claims but fail to stand behind their products. Companies such as Freeze 24/7 refuse to accept returns for any reason. Another company to avoid is Hydroderm. Customers have filed over 50 complaints about them on Ripoffreport.com. The bottom line is to know the company that you are dealing with and stick to doing business with one that has a solid reputation for delivering results. There are countless products on the market but only a handful that are based on legitimate science. These are the ones to add to your daily skin care regiment.

We all know that saggy skin can be problematic and sometimes even downright scary. By following the tips listed above and carefully selecting your skin care products, you'll be one step ahead in the battle against sagging skin. Keep your skin looking young and healthy by taking a proactive approach dealing with skin care. We all get old but we don't have to look that way!


Yes....but not to that degree. Thanks for asking.


Have you done your self-exam.?


That's just today's spam.

[inkahootz]

not a spam email but i keep getting emails from someone that thinks that i'm their cousin, ive really never seen or heard of a long lost cousin 'connie' but she sends me pictures of her husband, her kids, her new dog, etc.

oh connie -- I DONT KNOW YOU!!!! but i dont have the heart to tell her that i have no idea who she is.

[#1Townie]

just got a text about a amber alert in idaho falls i guess is fake.. not realy spam but kinda on topic i guess..